Times are a changing

For some unknown and not spoken reason, security is on the rise here in China. Airport security really upped the checks and fistfights broke out. I do not understand this but it is not uncommon. For some reason when the Chinese are made to wait they get very upset. Big Daddy was at a railway ticket booth that opened five minutes late one time and he said it became a pushing and shoving free-for-all. All Chinese believe they should be first and they cannot accept the concept that there is only 1 first.

Anyway current advice is to arrive 2-3 hours before flight time. This will never work in China. These people are trained to walk up at the last minute and get their ticket and queue up at the gate. The queue has nothing to do with lining up, it is a gathering of people at one point, followed by a contest of who beats whom to the finish point.

One thing I have learned here is that when you train a Chinese person they will never deviate. Changes are not allowed. How the hell are they going to re-train an entire country.

My guess is that being first explains the Chinese airline pilot, that is really Korean by birth, that would not yield to the Mayday of another airplane when landing in Shanghai recently. I am sure the Captain, pilot flying, was urged on by the FO, we do not wait, that is silly, our job is to be first.

Since Piers Morgan thinks the Chinese are the best of best maybe he can teach them to queue. Y'all know Piers gets on my last nerve.

Big Daddy said the heightened security even reached the trains today. A fully outfitted policeman slept next to him on the train. Never saw police on a train before.

Trader Joe's grocery bags

One thing we made sure to do one our last trip home was to bring back Trader Joe's insulated bags. They have zippers and capacity and are made to carry grocery items.

Big Daddy went to the City shop and gathered our food. When he was checking out he heard a scream and shouting. A woman threw herself on him and hysterically cried for information on where Trader Joe's was located in China.

This was sad. There is no Trader Joe's here. And she was obviously having a Shanghai low moment. Her husband was patting her shoulder as she sobbed.

It can be very hard to live here.

Joe Biden hilarity

First the Chinese dissed poor Joe because he ate at a regular restaurant instead of the Golden Palaces used by the Chinese Government people. And then Joe left a tip. Goodness Gracious, someone did not tell Joe that we do not give incentives here in the land of Mao. People may come to expect payment based on performance.

Then good old Joe announced how he thought the "one child" policy was well thought out. How choice equates to the aborting girls policy boggles the mind. But that is just Joe. I am sure Joe would be just as happy with Jack instead of Jill, not that there is anything wrong with that.

But according to the China Daily, also the source for the above information, the real faux pas that Joe committed was his disdain for the awful stew, known as Chaogan. It is offal stew, and Joe instead chose the noodle dish.

Onto our boring little lives, Big Daddy got a drenching Saturday. I was getting my roots blond and BD was buying a bread knife. The heavens let loose with such a downpour the street was under 6 inches of water in a heartbeat. BD was in the street at the time. He dried out at the coffee shop near the salon, the one without water, so he had juice-they could not make coffee.

This gave me a moment of introspection, I, dumbass as I am, for some reason thought that the people selling coffee used bottled water. The water in China is not potable. Boiling water may get rid of most of the nasties if it is done properly. I am not sure making coffee gets rid of all the nasties. But I know it does not get rid of the metals and other things we are not supposed to drink. Like certain chemicals. I remember 20 years ago when I was selling real estate their was a huge concern in Michigan for people drinking from spring-point wells for agricultural chemicals that became "potentially" more deadly when boiled. You had to have wells tested by the health department before you could sell the property.

I think I am off Starbucks for now.

Yummy, part 2

We have been eating dinner in the Italian restaurant in the hotel. The staff is hilarious, they call us by our first names as if we are the best of buds. First thing she said to me the second evening, so Nola, do you want the same wine tonight. Then she proceeds to hide the bottle as far from me as possible so I will not be tempted to pour it myself. I did get points with Big Daddy for requesting Big Ice with his Tonee water, they brought the glass with usual 3 small cubes and an ice bucket. They all stood there in shock as BD added the ice to the glass.

We ordered the exotic sounding appetizer of what I imagined to be a tiny Monte Cristo concoction on the savoury side. Big Daddy agreed it sounded nice and unusual. It was fried mozzarella sticks. Actually the food was good 2 nights in a row, much less money last night and still nice. I had pasta with lobster and it was about 9 dollars. I was surprised at how well it was done.

I asked the Chef, yes the famous Chef, for a staff picture and he immediately agreed. The wait staff did not want to join in but the Chef said yes, all the people that prepared and served the food. Very democratic of him. And yes that is my wine glass on the counter, and yes they made sure and made a note of the fact I took it to my room.

This afternoon I am having Ayi problems, they showed up with the Chinese Jabba Jabba again and we have had lots of Jabba Jabba and pointing. Finally a Manager showed up and asked me what the problem was. I have no problems, I just can't answer the Jabba Jabba questions. I did get them to remove the dirty coffee cups and glasses. And I got fresh towels. And we decided that I can make a bed if they can't. WTF, if this is the Crowne Plaza standard some shit must have gone down in the states that I missed. Do we get extra points for cleaning our own rooms now?

Update, they brought new coffee mugs and 2 wine glasses, one normal and one from the Italian restaurant, exactly like they took away. There is a spot in the bar console for wine glasses, none of them fit the cutouts. This is why I am drinking the hotel dry.

Inquiring Minds need to know

Does anyone know what this is?

I cannot open it or find a switch.



Yummy for the Tummy

This is part of my breakfast.

I have a fall-back routine for places where I am not happy. This is close to becoming one of those places.

Breakfast Routine

The first day I pick out my food. The second day Big Daddy picks out my food. The rest of the time I order room service.

 This morning is day one, I meandered around the dining room and picked out a muffin, some grapefruit juice, some watermelon and some cheese and meat. I only pick out very small portions in case it is awful. Chinese food looks much better than it tastes. This was not bad. Then I ventured on to the cooked food. First item is always fried rice as it is usually edible. Nothing else struck my fancy so Big Daddy got the cooks to make me an omelet. That is the large yellow thing on my plate. As I was awaiting for the omelet the Chef decided we needed to have a chat. He was very chatty. He was very proud of my choice of the fried rice. Then he decided to tell me everything I never wanted to know about some noodle station. Somehow he started putting food on my plate, the steamed dumpling with BBQ'd pork filling and chicken feet. The brown things are the chicken feet.

Now don't be alarmed, as the Chef explained to me the Phillipino people don't know shit as they think the chicken feet are dirty. But he washes them and cooks them many, many times. Boil, fry, boil, fry.

As I took my seat at the table BD looked at my plate and questioned my unique selections. I knew someone had to eat this shit and it was not going to be me, so I made him try the chicken feet as this was not his first time at the chicken rodeo. The steamed dumpling was not horrible if you had no other food available. It was light and airy and tasteless with a sweet pork filling. And yes, the Chef came over to see how we liked the food. Thank goodness I had left before that visit.

Crowne Plaza is not up to snuff yet. They must have rushed to finish this to take advantage of the Summer Universiade, it is located just down the street. No extra lock on the door-but the hole is there, no turn-down service and I had to call housekeeping to get the room cleaned. The exercise room is good but you cannot see the television from the equipment. The pool looks great but the construction noise in that area is horrendous.

I will tell you tomorrow about dinner, I will need 2 visits to describe that one.

Oh My Goodness

Pictures tomorrow for those of you that love construction sites.

We are at the brand, spanking, new Crowne Plaza. Yea, can you feel my excitement?

I got just a little taste of it all today.

I got to see the toddlers in butt crack pants. I got my hair pulled by the idgits on the plane sitting behind me. I got to see how they hand out China turnpike cards to asshats to stupid to pull along side the booth, they have a basket. This would have been a perfect Kodak moment but Big Daddy was in the back seat questioning his supplier on why, if they really did read their email this morning, they did not do shit all day to fix the problems.

When the manager came up to fix the room and explain things we found out why they do not have a book of hotel services. He actually called a hotel menu book, which they do not have. That is because they do not have many services, including the Beautiful Room. And dammit, that is the one I wanted. He did however fix us up with glasses and an ice bucket.

Going down to dinner soon, if BD ever gets back. He went downstairs to get the Superstar Desk Clerk to send a Chinese email to the dumbass supplier where to pick him up tomorrow. Don't ask, I did and the look I got made me pee my pants.

Rant of the day; If your job is to copy my passport and note the Visa information and entry stamps, do not ask me where to find it. It is in Chinese and you are Chinese and that is your fucking job. The next time I will call a manager and make you lose face.