Big Daddy made it home to Shanghai

Doesn't hurt when you are flying in Business Class. Yes, DTW is still all fucked up at the curb and the Delta bitches still do not like working in Detroit.

Shanghai is all lighted up and ready for the holiday and start of EXPO. Wish I was there instead of here and getting my teeth fixed.

yes, I have been loafing

Since returning to the US from China and again visiting New Orleans, I have been lazy. Well, first we were jet lagged. Then just exhausted and we had to repack all the shit to go to New Orleans. Then we got home again and have to repack again. It is all tiring.

So Just Random Snippets:

The Clampett luggage with out name on all 4 sides is a hit with the baggage people. Umm, how can I spot your bags? If there is a name on all 4 sides it is most likely ours.

Do not ever stay in a hotel if your room is on Bourbon Street unless you are a cop, FBI agent, Private eye, idiot, or just plain stupid. However, you will get to see every hooker, John (should that be capitalized?) and seller of contraband in the city. That is if you are awake all night like I was. That was because the noise was so loud Big Daddy and I could not talk to each other on the balcony.

My new Ann Taylor sweater pilled in one wearing and had to be returned. Not good Ann.

Hear Plant Loco is going down again for 2 more weeks before production can even start to begin on the new model.

New favorite is the Royal Sonesta on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. Just stay in the back.

Least favorite is Delta Airlines. You can tell the planes and crew from the old NWA and yes, they are the worst of the worst. Have pity of us all at Detroit Metro.

Best meal was the Green Goddess in New Orleans followed by The Hill in Grosse Pointe.

Gotta pack Big Daddy up tomorrow and send him back to China. He has a team building weekend coming up. Can't wait to hear about this shit.

Cheap Phony luggage

It appears we are now collectors. Of phony luggage. Phony Tumi, phony Wenger, but no phony Samsonite. Can't get the phony Samsonite we wanted, some other collector of phony shit bought it out from under us.

Don't want to talk about this. This is a Big Daddy obsession and we all deserve our personal obsessions.

So if you see what may appear to be expensive luggage with paint pen writing on all 4 sides, say hello. Its us, the Clampetts, traveling incognito. Shit, I should have made him write Clampett on the luggage.

Found Mento's for the trip home, hope they are not phony, excuse me, faux.

China Observations

Internet is very spotty this week. Not surprising as every day there are new warnings, dire warnings, of how China is preparing for Expo. None of the warnings have been followed up on, so I am assuming this was a cover so they could screw with the Internet. Big Daddy bought a kitchen knife, no big deal. They have never checked out ID coming into the hotel. The taxi just cruises on in with me speaking Chinglish and waving my arms about in the universal language of "I am an idiot".

Come Fly With Me has a whole new meaning here in the People's Republic:

Scheduled take-off time is a suggestion. They may or may not board the flight around this time and it is certainly no indication of when they may take-off. When you are on the plane there is an air traffic control announcement. This means you will wait. Then they bring out the carts and serve drink and boxes full of breads.

Sometime near the end of flight we are all encouraged to exercise in our seats. The first time I saw this I thought, WTF? I barely have room to breathe and you want me to exercise? Yep, they do and show a video. And yep the passengers exercise. So far have not been hit by an elbow.

Expert flying information-no, they do not all speak English. No, they do not wait until we get to the gate to stand up. No, if you have to gate check your bag as they changed the type of plane scheduled, you will not get your bag back at the gate. Yes, you better not lose your little bag tickets, they really do check very carefully for this. Yes, they will find anything that is not supposed to be in your bag. However, they are nice about it.

Sidenote: Can't find matches (no one can unless you give them a reason), but they did find my wine key. Male security did not speak English (yes, this was an international airport) so he called over the female and she said "cosmetics". So we started sorting through the bag and suddenly she said, "opener" and I thought Oh Shit, the wine key, showed it to her and she then re-scanned the bag. When it was all over she asked me what is the name of this, the wine key. She really was nice and wanted to learn what the item was called in English. (They made me open the bag and help search. They remove whatever items they find offensive-she kept the wine key, but wires and such they put in a bin and leave with you while re-scanning) Do not put your umbrella in a carry-on, hand it over to the person that takes your laptop and puts it in the bin. For some reason they are obsessed with umbrellas.

Just so your know, international hotels do not always have English speaking employees not do the western restaurants. Sales people in stores may or may not speak English also. If you are here for a while you will start speaking Chinglese and your family will stare at you the same way the Chinese people do. And just so you know speaking louder and slower does not work here either.

Personal info, job interview did not work out. Hair is out of control. Now have angry red spots all over body, not bugs as Big Daddy has no spots.

Coming home on Sunday. Hoping I still have steroid cream.

Laughing my ass off

Don't know what the purple stuff is, gorgeous and more expensive than the calla lillies.

Calla lillies were about 75 cents a piece.

Bird of Paradise about 3 bucks each.

Apartment is full of flowers.

Recent experiences:

Saved by a Tibetan Yak herder falling up the stairs at Eme's. His hair was more styled and stylish than mine, he was glowing in products, he was singing Karaoke to a Canadian's Techno type music, and he waited outside the washroom to take me back down. Big Daddy missed all of this. The stairs are wooden slats, very narrow, with candles on the side. They go straight up. I have climbed straight up steel ladders in assembly plants that felt safer. But Eme did have a sit down toilet and a sink with running water. HooHaa. Not a place to where a long flowing skirt.

There is no OSHA here, to get to this divine establishment I had to walk under bamboo scaffolding. Always makes me pause. Except when they are welding on the sidewalk area. Then I skedaddle.

Bought a great piece of artwork, framed and signed poster as a very sassy lady, will post as possible when I have time to put down the artist and the information. All the Chinese ladies hated it( everyone gives you an opinion on everything, everywhere, every time) all the Chinese guys loved it. Italian artist with a Chinese theme who is now living in Paris.

Tried to buy some wine and sherry at the corner store in the French Concession. They do not understand nor do they speak English. How are these fucks going to serve the great unwashed non-Chinese speaking people for Expo 2010. I need to start a business with English language translations for the stupid fucks and I will help you get the options for the tourists. Of course all this is illegal, so I will need a China partner. Maybe the Yak herder.

Also, they do not recycle in China. They act like they do. They have 2 different containers. No one can tell you what goes into the containers. Then they dump both of the containers together and go somewhere else and sort it again. Then they combine all the containers into one big pile and dump them out of town. This is my new goal. To make them pretend to do more recycling. It should only take 5 people as that is the current meeting group for all things important. Such as WTF is wrong with this white bitch? Takes 5 people for any important decision such as who is going to ask her why she wants Evian. Does not she know this is called even water? And they don't recycle the plastic bottles. Grrr. They bring you a picture and then correct your pronunciation. Trust me, Tonic water is Tonee you asshole.

Tomorrow the joys of flying China Southern, or exercising on a 777 in coach. Jack Lalane had nothing on these people.

Hair is not good. Humid, drizzle, and very hazy weather.

Purple haze in Shanghai

Everyone is coughing and sneezing today. With the haze this evening am starting to wonder what is in the air. There is so much tearing up and re-constructing along with real new construction I am starting to think we should all be wearing masks just for the dust and junk in the air.

Big Daddy and I got manicures today. He was quite the unwilling character. First manicure and he says the hand massage was not good. Hmmm. We wandered and window shopped on Shaanxi road.

Tomorrow flying to Shenzhen, if the person has the tickets right, and another day at the Parkview hotel. Will try the gym this time. Gym here at the hotel is great.

Priced some furniture at the place close to our apartment. I don't think so and he was not a dealer. About 900 dollars US for 2 chairs and a table for next to the entry door.

More tomorrow, with pictures if I am successful with the camera transfer.