The Plot thickens

Sammy and his bull penis, this is how he tells you it is time to go to bed. No I do not allow him to take that into the bed. But he tries every night.

Well, I took Sammy out to pee pee and poo poo or really to sit and stare and I heard this loud noise. It was the old guy from the corner snorting into his hanky. He was walking around the block. Without his nasty little unleashed mutt. That in itself is unusual, in 20 years I have never seen the man walk around the block. At this same time a Realtor was showing the house across the street, you know the vacant property that old corner guy hangs out at in the barely breaking of dawn. Guess what old guy does? He goes up the driveway and starts inspecting the detached garage. Then he goes inside the house. Later I see him inspecting the garage again and going back inside the house.

Is he thinking of buying the garage and not the house? Is there some reason he is so interested in the garage?

New Topic, Big Daddy is supposed to fly home on Friday. That would be directly before, during or after the  Tropical Storm exactly hits or just misses Shanghai. I am sure this will be exciting. As was exhibited in the Beijing swamping China is not big on drains and drainage. BD is about 2 hours outside of Shanghai with a private car and driver, van actually. Hoping for some great pics.

Not exactly Twilight Zone, but still

The oddest thing has been happening. Just about time to wake up I hear a knock knock like someone is knocking on the door. I started leaving the porch light on once in a while. This morning I heard it and it was barely daylight. Got up and went to look on the porch and what did my wondering eyes reveal, the old man on the corner using a shovel in the landscaping bed at the vacant house.

Now in just barely daylight before 6 in the morning what in the name of all that is holy is the old guy doing with a shovel on someone else's property? And he was there for a while. If it was all legit why not wait for daylight?

Just an odd side note-he was wearing an old guy tee shirt, like a wife beater, like he just got up and threw his pants on.

Now I doubt these 2 things are related, but 2 woo woo things at the same time make me creeped out.

Suzhou, China 104 degrees and a tad humid.

I am bored and therefore boring. Big Daddy had some free time today and went to the silk museum and explored some of the gardens. But damn, when it is that hot it is hard to do much exploring. He said he got surprises for me and his mom. His mom has a birthday coming up. He also got something for Punkin Head I hear.

The most exciting thing in my life is I found a new site to do crossword puzzles on, with comments and explanations. That is key, to understand the what and why of the crossword world. And why I can't finish the damn puzzles some days.

I have found a new surprise to cook for BD when he gets home. I hope this one turns out as well as the tomato pie.

Question of the day

Why does the street cleaning truck show up before the garbage people, the lawn waste people, and the re-cycling people come and do their dirty work. 8 am street washing and sweeping. 10 am the crews start arriving to start tossing stuff into the trucks.

I am befuddled

Now my crappy cobbled Chinese computer will not run Firefox. So that of course means no puzzle. In trying to use my non-existent computer savvy I tried everything to get the Firefox to run (repeatedly clicking on the icon) and when that failed I tried to figure out what was wrong with the across lite that runs the puzzle. I kept getting this message that pretty much said, no bitch. Well I found this other thing to click on and it came up with the option to do 3 things and the middle one said, repair. I thought that sounded wonderful, repair. Well it came back with the same no bitch message but this time it had Chinese writing with it.

So do I go and buy a new laptop all on my own, something I have never done, or do I twiddle my thumbs until Big Daddy returns. Buying a washer is not hard, having a toilet rebuilt was nothing, even the water tank fiasco was not that bad. But I am intimidated by electronic purchases.

OK, I can tell the secret now

Punkin Head and The Lady are engaged. To be married. How fun.

We are happy for them and looking forward to seeing how this is going to work out-not the marriage, the wedding. So now The Lady is changing to the The Fiancee. I have promised Punkin Head to keep my mouth shut to The Fiancee, and to try and limit what I say to him also. You know I will have to Blog some about this but I need to be pleasant and sweet and never say anything nasty. Which is against my entire nature. And so far I can only invite 2 people.

And I will not wear beige.

This is just nuts

This bookstore is in the hood and was our target for an after lunch visit. It is huge with 4 floors, no a/c and just stairs. This was definitely sweat city yesterday. I did find 2 books, one of the Presidents favorite meals in the White House-a coffee table book-Tricky Dickie was the Prez at time it was written. I was overwhelmed with the books, there are 2 carts outside the entrance with free books. Unbelievable.

Punkin Head and I started out with lunch at Roma Cafe in Eastern Market which was nice. His choice and it is fun; the waiters still wear full black suits and ties and only men serve. Then we went to the bookstore driving through Detroit. The traffic was very sparse.

t

This picture would be much better with a fancy camera, but that is not in my near future due to circumstances out of my control-more on that below. The is American Coney Island and it's next door neighbor Lafayette Coney Island. World famous landmarks here in the Motor City.

When we got home PH proceeded to look at my computer as I was bitching mightily over this Chinese cobbled piece of shit. He did a lot of fixing and what not and today it seems to work okay except I could not do the NYT crossword as per my usual routine. Thankfully I remembered I had Firefox and was able to do the puzzle there. Don't know what happened but as long as I have the puzzles I am okay.

Then out of the blue I get a phone call on my land line. This is not a usual occurrence. My cell phone carrier, Sprint, was calling to ask if I had noticed that my cell phone had been turned off. July 3 to be precise. My life is the opposite of what it used to be when I used up 2 phones and 3 batteries a day. I only carry the cheap piece of shit cell phone for safety. But really, it took 22 days for them to tell me my mobile was hacked. Big Daddy's was shut off too. The hackers guessed my answer to the trick question and started calling Cuba. WTF. Though I gotta admit I did pick the easiest question so I could remember it. Now I have to go to the hell hole phone store and get it turned back on and find a new phone as long as the dregs of society and I are hanging out together. I did tell the really nice fraud lady that the store was managed by the devil dogs from hell and I inquired if they had put a container of Xanax at the door yet. She chuckled and said no. Obviously she has never visited the actual stores. The next closest store is an hour away next to a mall/shopping area that requires much more than a Xanax to even think about visiting a phone store there. Oh, the reason I need to visit the store is I must show photo ID to get the phone turned back on. Fie on you Sprint.

It also appears I may need a new ice maker. So new ice maker, new phone, new computer, new furnace, the camera may have to wait.

Mucky Monday

Big Daddy arrived in Shanghai and is heading for the hotel. Trip was longer than usual as he used the rest of his ticket from his last flight. He used miles for that ticket and flew Business Class and it could only be used on a return flight to China. Might as well be comfy as the new company only pays coach or sometimes Premium Economy. He flew Detroit to Atlanta to Tokyo to Shanghai.

It is getting hot again today, 95 F and very humid with no sun. It may rain or storm.

Punkin Head is coming tomorrow so I need to get some chores done.

Yesterday I found a movie on regular TV, An American Gangster, I had wanted to see this movie forever. It was so dark-and I mean could not see the people most of time-I was so disappointed I did not finish watching. What a letdown.

I've Got a Secret

And I cannot talk about it yet and I am just dancing and doing the pee pee dance.

Just finished a few books and I must say James Patterson has passed the line from fun read on an airplane to crap whore. "Guilty Wives" was the stupidest piece of shit I have ever tried to read. Hope Big Daddy likes it on the plane because I did not. Also finished his latest Michael Bennet tome and it was okay, just the oddest ending ever. I am thinking Patterson may be going to the paperback list.

My new bathroom book is "Gypped" by Carole Higgens Clark. Perfect for keeping me from wondering if this will be the time to call the ambulance.

Just started "Yes, Chef" by Marcus Samuelsson and I must say this is a great read. He is a black man, Ethiopian, and a great chef adopted by a Swedish family when he was 3. Just in the beginning but enjoying it immensely.

Still can't find movies so that still sucks. I guess under the circumstances I should be grateful the Bachelor Pad starts Monday so I can see people not even good enough to be on the D List cavorting and having pretend sex on ABC on prime time. I might need meds for that one.

The cooking went well, kinda

I made a pasta sauce from a recipe I found on the net that had over 900 positive reviews. The reviews were overwhelmingly positive as the best sauce ever. This was my goal, make the best sauce ever. It was okay to pretty good. Best sauce ever, I don't think so. The kids said it was good and they would not lie, so it was good, not great. But I think I can tweak it if I search out more recipes and do some research. Big Daddy loves pasta and with whole wheat pasta so easy to find I do not feel as bad eating it. One of the reviews said the family would trade a steak dinner for this pasta sauce, I think that is bat shit crazy.

The garlic bread did not turn out, but BD was in charge of that. All I did was roast the garlic. Punkin Head graciously agreed to bring the wine for me, I lost my glasses in between the hairdresser and the market and could not read the labels.

Speaking of the hairdresser, I went crazy with my hair color. I am no longer a light blond. I am now reddish blond and in no way pretending this could be a natural occurrence.

Today I am supposed to make a pasta and bean salad to have with a rotisserie chicken. We will see. This is on the menu as the pinto beans from Monday were to be used. But my pinto beans fell apart into soup beans they were so well cooked.

I remember 6 or 7 years ago when I was on a business trip in BFE south and they put me up in a company condo and I had to go to the grocery store. I had not shopped for food and such for 15 years and I was amazed. I only needed coffee stuff and TP and tissues but it was a nightmare, I could not believe people did this on a regular basis. I gained a new respect for BD who did all our shopping. And now here I am trying to cook our meals. What a hoot.

Trying to cook again

The kids are coming for dinner and I am cooking. That is just off the chart scary.

They are going to the dentist first so they have an out. Smart move on their part.

Big Daddy blames it on testosterone

Our dogs never act up when they are with me. Whenever BD takes the dog somewhere outrageous behavior ensues. BD took Sammy in for his spa day and as he was finishing up with the groomer another patron with 2 big labs came in. Well, Sammy assumed they were there to cause havoc and naturally lurched out BD's arms and onto the back of the closest lab. As Sammy is not very well toned and kinda fat and round he was not able to hang on and subdue the lab. He fell off while snarling and defending his dad.

The lab took one look at Sammy and gave him the loudest RUFF ever heard. One ruff.

Sammy sat down and stared at this paragon of doggie manliness with a look of awe and wonder.

Best behaved labs ever.

Friday flippancy

I think Sammy is settled in and comfortable here at the old homestead. He is protective of the home and contents when he is awake and in a caring frame of mind. See the smirk.

Big Daddy passed his anal testing and should get his GE card in the mail. They told him something I have been bitching about forever. Do not bring any food into this country that is not written on the form and just don't bring it anyway-especially nuts. I don't know what the Planter's guy, aka Mr. Peanut, did to piss these people off, but just don't do it. Because: 1 mistake and you lose your privileges forever. So no more hoarding your airline club crappy snacks.

It has been 3 months now on the no smoking thing and I think the fact that today is also Friday the 13th is a sign that this will be successful. Quit on Friday the 13th in April. At this point though the whole thing seems to hinge on being fat with a few bucks or skinny and poor. And since I was not that thin when I quit, well there ya go.

Good news, I ordered some more fat clothes and 1 pair of jeans was too big. I did not think that was possible.

Really unhappy over my doctor visit last week. This is my old doctor that went AWOL and now he is back at a new practice. First he just about called me a liar about the IBS situations. Then he got "touchy" about a joke I made about Dr. Oz and vitamin D, come on get over yourself. Then I got a call a few days ago about this prescription for an over the counter magnesium supplement that the pharmacy gave me. They said they had tried to call me numerous times. And did the pharmacy call me? I call bullshit on this one. If you can get me on the phone today there is no problem with my phone. Anyway the magnesium is because of my complaints of cramping in my hand and legs. Well I did the thing I hate and looked it up on the Internet, and guess what? It can be caused by chronic diarrhea. WTF.

So now I am one of those people that chart their body functions.

What is left of the garden

These are the purple cone flowers by the side door. There is a bee on one flower. I really think I need a new camera for better pictures. These pictures get the point across, but that is about the extent of it.

When I first planted the garden and the front beds my goal was year round color and form and bird friendliness. Well this was before I knew about squirrels and cow birds. The cone flowers are native to Michigan and have proven great in this spot. The ones in back died, phooey.

This is my Rose of Sharon blooming early this year, usually nothing until late July early August. This was planted just because I liked it. That and my peonies and poppies, just for fun. They survived but I was in no mood for them this year.

Big Daddy is going for his Global Entry interview this afternoon. If he is accepted into the program he gets to bypass the immigration and customs line and go first. This is because he has a background check and fingerprints and probably an anus scan. It is included in the AMEX card we have and when you spend much of your life outside of the country I guess it makes sense. Yep, he is leaving again soon.

As requested by Miss Becs

This is one of the local sailing clubs, they are out all summer up and down the lake. I used to love driving home from work and seeing them bobbing on the water.

This is the yacht club or where the King of Grosse Pointe lives. It is so pretty at night.

This is our waterfront park, each of the Pointes has one, ours was a gift from Mrs. Edsel Ford as we folks in the Woods had no waterfront. She gave some land at the edge of her estate. Big Daddy picked up our Park passes last week so we are all set. We have said for years that we should get up and take coffee to the park and watch the sun rise. Never happened, and I don't know why-we are usually up before the sunrise which is  about 5:30 here.

No barges today, that will be another trip to the lake, that and the ducks. There was a terrible mess last week, a car hit a duck and the carcass was in the road. That road is posted at 35 MPH and I am sure that some one was speeding, you will see a car pulled over by the police everyday. The ducks, geese and swans can be a nuisance; were a nuisance here as there were not many natural predators. I have not seen as many birds since we got back, plus there are duck hunters in boats and the Ford Estate is rumored to have eagles nesting on the property. I did see one eagle ripping apart a squirrel in the neighbor's front yard before I moved to China. I will investigate further.

I am gonna blow, like a whale

Everyone has had this idea that putting "devices" on my television will make someone happy. Not me, as I cannot work any of the devices. Whatever, this shit does not work and is making my life miserable.

Here is my idea of television, I look for shit I want to watch and then I pick it and watch it. I use the tool that came with the Comcast service and touch the buttons that pick the stuff I want to watch.

Currently I now have 4 "tools" that belong to the main television. None of these "tools" will let me watch movies, including the Roku nightmare "tool". 


I have 2 other televisions that I cannot watch either.

I am thinking I will either have to have a one-night stand with a Comcast employee or a long term affair with someone that knows how all this technology works.

If no one shows up that looks like I could even stomach having coffee with, much less an affair, I am going to have to just rip everything out and look for a short term liaison at the local electronics store.

Meanwhile, we are all going to watch crap TV because that is what mama can find on the TV.

In other words, and make no mistake about this, if I find that I cannot turn the television on one more time, just one more time, the shit is going to hit the fan. And Big Daddy you might want to look up, cause that fan is over the bed you will be sleeping on.

Random bitching and moaning, plus Fie on the New York Times

There are only 2 kinds of taxis here, the immaculate taxi from the airport (contract with the airport) and the wacko cabs. Saw my first wacko today and  something did not look right. It was not the skanky bottle blond driver smoking in the cab, looking, looking, ah yes, the spotlight by the drivers A-pillar-it was a reconditioned police car. The trunk badging still had the "Police Interceptor" plain as day. Yea right, the cops  baby those cars.

I have a few blogs that I check every day from my favorites feature. I never followed them because I could not figure it out, or there was no option for that. I mostly read them for awhile to see if I like them. This one blogger has been posting odd comments for last month or so about quitting blogging in the next few months or so. Then she puts out this post about how she gets over 1500 hits for every post but no one follows her. Huh? And hers is one of those that are difficult to follow, meaning it takes more than 4 keystrokes. WTF.

I went to the doctor and I am officially back in hate with him. Can't discuss it right now but not a happy camper. And to put a cherry on that sundae he told me Dr. Oz did not know everything. I had made a little joke about taking a vitamin and he acted like I was shooting heroin. May need to re-think this when I calm down, I do have Blue Cross PPO now so I do have some flexibility.

Pisser of the month, The New York Times will no longer include the puzzle on line. If you are a subscriber to the on-line edition, you must purchase the puzzle separately. Is there nothing holy in this world that a person cannot get the NYT crossword in the NYT newspaper on-line. And the biggest and shittiest part of this debacle-all the damn liberal Al Gore suck ups that this paper is written for are not bitching about the carbon footprint that if I get the actual paper newspaper, the puzzle is free. I hate liberal two-faced whore dogs, it is either wrong to encourage the waste of the paper-paper or it is wrong to charge people extra to be green. OR it is cowardly to not admit that the puzzle is more popular than the damn paper.

The Not Bad Wife

Black bean salad in foreground and tomato pie in the rear.

I decided to surprise Big Daddy with a special dinner. Background for those of you who have not taken the time to devour every word I have written-I only learned how to shop when BD moved to China. I shopped on line once in China and ended up with a whole smoked salmon, frozen and folded in half. The fish would not fit in our freezer. BD is not used to me shopping and definitely not used to me preparing meals. I acquired all the ingredients and spent the afternoon cooking. The only thing I told him was that I had purchased frozen salmon and what should I do with it. He thought I bought it while he was gallivanting around the globe.

When he saw that I had prepared everything but the fish he was over the moon. I made him a tomato pie, cucumbers and onions in vinegar, and black bean salad. I cannot eat the cucumbers and the thought of cooked tomato makes me ill. It was all for him and he was so happy I probably won't have to do anything now for months.

Big Daddy was very upset this morning over an item in the Detroit Free Press, prison inmates had more underwear than he did. To save $1.1 million a year the state is cutting back on clothes for inmates. Underpanties are reduced from 10 pair to 7 pair.

The cookie stand off

This is really about the fight for Beta status or the feeding and peeing of Sammy. As you may recall I adopted  Sammy as a single parent and Sammy was pretty content to be an only dog of a single mom. We learned each others peculiarities and settled into a calm if boring life. Then Big Daddy starting showing up randomly   and acting like he lived here. Sammy kept a close eye on this and learned the BD routine. Then he started taking advantage of the situation.

At first I had to explain things, that means he wants out, that means he wants a pet, that means you are pissing him off sitting on his couch. Just the normal everyday things. Then BD decided to act like he was in charge of the house and had a say in Sammy's world. He knew better than to try that shit with me.

So a rare occurrence, 4th of July and Big Daddy is home. He only had phone calls and emails this morning. He asked me why Sammy was sitting in the kitchen purring like a cat. I told him he wanted breakfast. BD went to the store for his holiday food shopping and such and before he went I asked him to let Sammy out. He said Sammy did not need to go out, he had already been out. Well 5 minutes after BD left, who had to go out? Not me, I go inside.

BD came home and I noticed there was some tension between him and Sammy. I inquired as to what little problem the two of them could possibly have at this point. Well, it seems Sammy wanted a cookie. This was verboten as Sammy had not eaten his breakfast. WTF. This is a dog. Give him the damn cookie.

BD just mentioned that he thought Sammy was looking for trouble. I reminded him of permanent residency status. Sammy smiled his little sneer grin.

I am having a no fun day

Went to bed last night to the pop pop pop of the fireworks. This is now a nightly event and Sammy is still not fond of the noises. He sits in the bed watching the window. He can't see out the window but he waits and watches.

Around 1 AM my GI tract made a decision, this would be a night from hell. Every time I got out of bed Sammy would get out of bed. When I got back into bed I felt like shit and was freezing so I did not worry about where Sammy was. He showed back up a few minutes later without fail, all night long.

When we got up and asked Big Daddy to cancel the furnace people the weather decided to have huge thunderstorms. Sammy does not like those either. He sits under  my feet or he follows me back and forth to the bathroom. He does not bark or whine, he just looks really concerned.

Well, Big Daddy was home for 1 and 1/2 days when they told him no more travel for a couple months. So, of course within the hour he told me he has to go to China the 21st, and stay for the week. I know I will have to schedule a colonoscopy after I see the doc on Thursday and he will need to be home for that, gotta have a driver.

Wow, just heard Andy Griffith has died. That is sad, loved that show.

We are in crisis mode here,

Big Daddy has no underpants. Well he has a couple pair but they are dirty. Someone came into his world and stole his underpants. It had to be a conspiracy as the underpants had to be stolen in different locations. And the last thieves had to steal the dirty underpants. Eeeew.

Did you ever notice that men don't like to call them underpants? They call them underwears, which make no sense, although it is plural. Or they call them undershorts which only applies if you are wearing shorts. Or they call them briefs and boxers-which is product specific. I would never be that specific about my underpants.

We also had to have a talk this morning about the fact that we are not hillbillies or red-necks. This means that   we do not go around barefoot. Especially outdoors. Even more importantly if we have really really really ugly feet. Big Daddy knows if I had seen those feet 35 years ago there may have been a change in plans on that fateful nuptial day.

So Big Daddy has to bite the bullet and run out to the store when his underpants finish drying and buy panties, and socks and slippers. Socks because that is our next conversation and slippers because he has finally run out of the hoarded Chinese free slippers.

Clothes wise BD is very low maintenance.