Frozen Poop

As we get closer to the end of this freezing hell, in my mind we cannot scream until March 16, little things are starting to crack me up.

We currently are dealing with the frozen poop-scape. Sammy the Spanky dog discovered that he can walk on the frozen tundra. He is only about 8 pounds spread about 4 paws, and a quick hop and a jump and there he is, the King of the Frozen Tundra. He loves this space until he tries to sit his butt down. Then the freeze comes back to remind him, get your butt up and go poop. He poops all over the frozen tundra.  We cannot clean this mess up as we cannot walk on the frozen tundra. What a frigging nightmare.

The other day I was in the "ladies" stall and I looked down and wondered what the hell that fuzzy thing was, that thing attached to the bottom of my roller bag. WTF, it was my J Peterman wool Navy hat.  It had somehow got stuck to the bottom of my roller bag and I had dragged it over most of the plant floor. Yuck.

And speaking of yuck, my cashmere scarf from China, Shanghai to be specific, has so much lipstick and muck attached to it, well I just don't want to go there. This is the one I wrap around my head to get into the plants every day.

I am giving this weather until March 16, then I am gonna blow.

It is just too damn cold for me

I do not have the clothes for this weather. I am not besties with the woman who owns the Dirty Dog Jazz Cafe and is also the heiress to the Carhartt fortune. I need one of those orange suits. Walking to and from my car is a fucking frozen nightmare. It is ridiculously freezing cold. No shit, it is cold.

My walk into work is no joke, it is an assembly plant parking lot and I park in the very back and at one plant I cross a major thoroughfare. Today I wore: tights under jeans with knee high socks, a long sleeve tee and sweater with my poly plastic orange safety vest, a down coat to my knees with a cashmere scarf, knit hat, and North Face huge gloves, along with sunglasses and the hood up on my down coat and it was not enough. What fucking more can I wear?

Tonight I am looking for an old winter coat from Dennis Basso, and a fur hat and I am buying Uggs and leggings and more fur and whatever looks warm as this is supposed to go on into February. Problem is, just how much does one invest in these cold weather togs that are usually not needed here in Motown.

And I have to cart all the stuff I bring into the plant with me, maybe I need a new roller bag. And I hear there is stuff called hand warmers and foot warmers and always the old standby---Pearl's baked potato in your pocket. I would attach that post if I remembered how.