Why does evil exist

Because we all allow it.

I have a personal investment in the recent stories of people that were beaten by belts and taken advantage of when they should have been in a safe place and ignored by the people that should have taken care of these issues. Yes, I have had a welt or two. And I have been made to touch a penis that should not have been bandied about.

It is very easy to ignore these stories, it is even easier to pretend it is not your own story. When it was important I believed someone who told me I would be ostracized if I told the truth. Guess what, I kept the secret and I am still ostracized. When the abuser has control, well what did you think the outcome would be?

What is more horrible to deal with, this mess in your own family, it is to deny that this ever happens in good and decent families. Everyone wants to believe they have a normal and decent family.

Every time I see and hear this on television I am forced to remember things I would really prefer to forget.  I was told in so many words and many ways  that I was never not allowed to talk about this. I had to keep the biggest secret. That is a very hard secret to keep.

I wondered why I was supposed to pretend this never happened. And now I wonder why all the others that this happened to are now expected to stand up and say yes, this is what that bad person did to me.

When no one ever stood up for them.

Okay, maybe in the past those adults did not have the tools, or the guts, or the common sense to stand up and say, no. Still does not make it right.

Adults are not supposed to use children as toys, they are also not supposed to use them as objects of anger, and adults are also not supposed to cover up the terror and horror that children experience at the hands of monsters. Sorry to say, it is true, these people are monsters, been there, seen it, first hand.

Every person that covers up and ignores this type of abuse has more to answer for than mere mortals can ask of them.  God Bless all our souls.

9/11

I have been crying for two days. This is such a hard day to remember.

I was at work and I remember I did not do my best that day. I was in charge of French citizens and a junior tech in one of the biggest assembly plants in the U.S. I remember junior was constantly on the phone as we were working in the bowels of the plant and he was just babbling about whatever. We were in trouble with the customer, bad trouble, and I was trying to make the French people fix it.

Finally something he said made me pause and I asked him what the fuck he was talking about. What he told me was insane. He told me he was on the phone with his mom, who was on the phone with her sister, who was looking for her son in NYC. But all the information just seemed ludicrous. I remember walking back to the center of the plant and asking Ray if there was any Internet service in the plant. He sent me to the canteen where on the television we all saw it happen. My French people, only one spoke English, asked me what was happening. I told her we were at war. And then I told them all we had to go back out into the bowels of the plant and go back to work.

We worked for a while and then I made them all go back to the center area. I was sitting alone on a table, this was common, and I thought to myself, this is stupid. Why are we here when all this is going on. What is to stop them from hitting this site? At the moment I decided to get my people out my boss called and told me to get out and get all my people out. He personally had been locked out of a major auto company headquarters and all their people were out and gone. The major auto companies continued to run the assembly plants while they all went home. Hmmm.

We left and met at local restaurant to decide what to do, the airlines were shut down and these French people were supposed to fly home. I remember how I had told them they could not leave until they fixed the problems, and how I told them when the airspace shut down, now you will have to fix the problem and not run away. Not my best moment. My boss took them home with him.

I remember calling Big Daddy to come home. He was in Canada and I heard from United Technologies that they were pulling their people out of Windsor. He did not believe me and I remember yelling at him to get home before the borders closed.

I remember one thing that amazed me, when I drove past Edsel and Cynthia Ford's home their flag was at half-mast. I think that is the first flag I saw lowered and I was impressed that someone had the sense to do this.

It was a terrible day.