I Procrastinate, always

Just in case anyone forgot, when shit hits the fan here the powers that be shut down, slow down and generally ignore any problems. I do not write about it as (stolen from Harry Potter) "he who must not be named" tracks certain words and phrases and there is nothing good going to come from me chatting about it. They can see what you do from a VPN, and if you are cool they pretty much ignore you. When shit hits the fan, there is a general response. I will talk more about this when I get home. The TV and Internet are taking frequent breaks right now.

I am supposed to be packing and purging. Instead I am fucking around on the computer. I am using my intestines and sleeping patterns as an excuse. I always get done on time, just not always in the manner I had hoped for. Not sleeping properly, the trip and the fireworks extravaganza and innards always react to change and stress.

Out of sheer boredom I was reading the Pioneer Woman blog this afternoon and I was aghast at the comments. Where the hell do these people come from? You know how you always kinda wonder if you are normal? Not always, but that once in a while when it goes through your mind? And you think, whoa-people don't need to know about this shit. These ass-hats write about it. Ree, that is the blogster posted a pantry must have list. How more than 10 people in the states would be stumped at setting up a pantry in this day and age is beyond my comprehension. There were pages of comments thanking her for this previously secret knowledge. Here are a few of my favorites:

*(You will need multiple freezers) Take a gallon of milk and pour half of it into an empty gallon of milk jug. Squish it down until all the air is gone and it is fairly flat. Freeze it. When you need it: partially, say 70%, thaw it out and add enough water back in to make a gallon. Now I am not stupid but a deformed plastic milk gallon jug is not going to conform to the squishing more than half the time. They are cheap plastic and crack, especially when frozen and stacked in a grotesque configurations. My question is where the fuck do you get all the extra plastic gallon jugs?

*If you are lacking space turn your powder room into a pantry. Your guests can review your supplies while they pee and poop. Who would put up shelves and keep their food in the same place where you get rid of the food? Isn't there a saying about not shitting where you eat? It is advised to cover and hide your toothbrush in there.

*When you make a dinner, make 2 and freeze one. There is one "Bless her heart" lady that has been doing that but her family will not eat the same meal twice in one month so every month she throws away all the extra dinners from the freezer. This is one of the only times I would actually recommend the use of illegal drugs, I am just not sure who in that family should be taking them.

By the way, I have been seeing something lately where people make the comment "But I slept at the Holiday Inn" or something close to that phrase. They use it after a statement almost as if you would  put the "just sayin" tack-on. What is that all about?

Okay gotta go stare at my luggage.

The Story of the Pink Diamond

Big Daddy and I have a game we play. We only buy gifts for each other at odd times. If I have a desire for a present I will say so. If it is specific I will say so. There are no rules. BD does not like routine gifts so he gets surprises and mostly he gets to pick out his own gifts as this makes him happy.

In order to make him smile I have resorted to asking for a pink diamond. Today he was walking down the street with the worst charlatans hawking shit when he was approached with the opportunity of buying a real Rolex for 250 RMB. He told Mr. Seller he wanted a pink diamond. The guy had diamonds. BD must have felt like fucking with the dude because he told him the 18k gold and 2 carat diamond was not good enough, he wanted platinum. The guy went and got him a platinum ring. As BD has been taught here in China he took out his lighter and put the flame to the ring. It melted.

Back in the real world we both think the request for relo expectations is a fear that we would require 2 moves, one from China and then again from Michigan. We have that response worked out as we have no expectations for the China move. I did have to face the reality that the Thai cabinet is not going home. It would cost a lot more than I paid for it in shipping charges. The rest of the shit is not worth a lot and some of it I can take with me. I am making 3 piles of stuff, stuff I am taking back, stuff for BD to take back when he leaves and stuff to pitch at the bitter end.

Because I have made another decision. I probably will not be coming back. Never say never, but unless something happens of an emergency nature I am not planning to return. There is nothing for me here and no matter what happens BD won't be here that long. I figure, depending on the circumstances I can look for a job or do some volunteer work. Maybe think about getting a dog. Do some projects, learn to knit, or look into my plan of starting a bordello in the French Quarter.

Deja Vu, all over again

I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

I was actually feeling kind of bad that the fireworks only lasted one night, Sunday. Well, Thursday I went to bed and slept for 2 hours. Then the dragon woke up and we had non-stop fireworks for about 12 hours. WTF.

I almost posted a real picture of the real me but I slapped myself before scaring the hell out of everyone. The sink used for hand washing at the bar is outside of the WC and sits rather low. So I am bent over drying my hands and Big Daddy shouts something out and I turned. So stooped and twisting I was caught giving the "don't make me hurt you" face. The truth is I do not photograph well and this one was worse than usual. This happened after the hairdresser insisted on taking a Polaroid of me and BD at the salon. He looks great, I look like a Yeti with nice hair. I did not think they still made Polaroid film.

Good news is BD has 2 interviews back in the states, one in our hometown and one in New Orleans. The latter is coming into town for a face to face after the phone interview. It is nice they are coming to BD instead of the other way around. Have to try and schedule them before the parades. They want an approximate idea of our expectations for a relo package. How the hell should we know. What are people currently getting? If anyone has information, let me know. I doubt it is as good as before the bottom fell out but it can't be as bad  as when we left.

Bad news is BD has a back situation. He has never had one before. I rubbed some Eye of The Tiger oil on him and he took some ibuprofen and we will see.

Purple Dragon

This is my purple dragon.

I am still mad at Blogger. They changed horses and jockeys in the middle of the race.

When I was trying to download the fireworks video, Blogger changed to the new and improved format. You know, the one that makes it really hard to blog now. They also asked if they can track me. Huh, is like stalking?I use a VPN, actually I use more than one, so no one can track me. I mean really, when I am in New Orleans are they going to send me a coupon for a free Hurricane?

I also tried Vimeo which was a waste of my time.

The fireworks video is working now, for how long, who knows.

We went to the museum yesterday and I saw another one of those "flower carved things" this one for 8000  RMB, the first one saw and wanted was 1000 RMB. Got the cheapo dragon instead in the rabbit warren. It is supposed to be Jade, yeah right.

Blogger fucked me over

In the composing of my previous post Blogger changed my entire blogging experience.

I do not feel like going to blogger school right now.

I cannot edit or do anything.

Fuck it.

The Fireworks

This is Chinese New Year's Eve from my balcony on the 28th floor.

It was quite a bit calmer this year. Either the Dragons were busy or the cold and damp slowed some people down. Lasted about 8 hours, but only Sunday night.  Then off and on until daylight. The rest of the nights maybe ten minutes here and there.

The video store had Boardwalk Empire and I must say this is quite good. That is one thing I will miss, we never bought or even rented this stuff at home. Of course, we never had that much time to watch television.

Organizing the crap

Yesterday we took a huge load of books to the Bell Bar, Amay's place. As it rained and gusted all day this was not a fun trip. We had to go down first and get our room cards turned back on, again. We were standing on the curb waving to the taxis when this black guy stood out just a little beyond us. I just could not help myself, I looked at him and said, "You know you are not getting into a taxi before me, right. Because I will beat your ass with this umbrella." He laughed and said yea, he knew. People are always trying to sneak up and steal your taxi. If they are the anorexic Chinese girls BD just grabs their arm and moves them out of the way. They only weigh about 6 pounds.

Handed over the books, got some coffee beans and took some refreshments. We met the most unusual young man from Germany. He thought Hitler was an okay guy. Hitler built great roads. I know I missed something in this conversation, I just can't put my finger on it. It is unbelievable how many young people are here studying Mandarin because they can't get a job in their home country. Are there no jobs in Germany or are these kids not educated for proper jobs, I mean the one kid has a degree in Physics. Or maybe when daddy pays it is easier to just keep going to school.

The fireworks have started. I wondered as it snowed and rained again today. But the Chinese are fearless of the cold and going to town. So far no spectacular light displays.

We also cleared out the old DVDs and BD took them down to the gym. There were some poor students, again studying Mandarin, and they were thrilled to get the movies. Better than in a landfill.

BD is grilling rib-eyes and making butter beans so life is good.