Zone coverage, or thank God for football season

Wow, train travel is like sometimes like being a Detroit Lion. You see the Goal and you know your job. Get to the end zone. Between you and the end zone there are hundreds of defenders. Most of them are either in very high heels or very old. There are a few pussy men, and some screaming children.

First off, you cannot harm the children. It is just not right.

Second, you should give the old ladies a pass, just because it is the right thing to do. Until this 90 year old bitch hip-checks you into the stands and grabs your ball and runs for the goal post. At least that is what it seemed like today.

I am walking toward the down escalator at the train station with no crowds, it is easy walking. Suddenly, a swarm of fucking locust descend on me and I am jostled and pushed and shoved. I look and it is a tiny little woman with the heart of Satan. Then I am pushed from the other side and it is pussy boy. I shove him to the rear so I don't have to take out grandma.

Then grandma turns around and grins and puts a pox hex from hell on me.  Fie on you, old woman.

So, as a decent human being, as Paul Stowe recently requested me to be I will promise to the following:

I will run over the slutty chicks with bad shoes first.

I will still try to not hurt the children even if they continue to spit on me.

I will only shove the old ladies after they have given me a bruise.

The Shanghai foo-foo boys are fair game.

And the next time I say knee how and the white people ignore me instead of feeling down because I think they are too "important" to have to say hey to me, I will call them an ass-hat-----and tell them to snap out of it.

Passing Time

As we all know I have nothing to do as I am supposed to be flying across the ocean right now, I read a new book today. Okay, I got up in the middle of the night. That is what I do when I mentally shift to US time zones, I automatically start preparing.

The book is Confessions Of A Failed Southern Lady by Florence King, it is truly a hoot. I laughed until I cried and frankly I was glad I was not reading this on a plane as I am sure they would have put those plastic tie straps on me. Seriously, I had tears running down my face.

If you are from the south you will get it all, if you know nothing about the south it won't matter. Every family the world over has wacko's and generally the same type of lunatics. There is true love in this book, this family actually likes and loves one another. My only disappointment was there was not one, "Bless her heart".

We had to get McDonald's for breakfast as we have no food here. I have not had McDonald's in 15 years. It will be another 15 if all goes well. It was barely acceptable.  I think we are ordering German for late lunch and who knows what for late supper. Gotta watch the food for the IBS thing, not good when you are flying.

Bad thunderstorm this afternoon. Not good. Big hi-speed train accident, people died. Not good. China says lightening struck the train and then havoc ensued. One train ran over another train and they fell off the elevated tracks. Not good. China will never ask for help or advice in engineering for the future and I really believe they feel a few casualties are no big deal in the grand scheme of things. These people cannot provide safe drinking water in their major cities and so they move on to providing unsafe train travel for their citizens.

If Piers says one more time how great China is I am personally gonna bop him in the nose and make him drink the fucking green water.