Every woman needs a Leatherman

This tool does it all. With the exception of opening wine bottles you are good to go. And it comes with a nice leather case.

Things need to be fixed and this little tool can do most everything that will happen in your life.  Until you can afford a real tool box this will be your go-to tool.

How did I fix the alarm system power down, the Leatherman. How do I tighten loose door knobs, the Leatherman.

When I worked in the plants I wore a fanny pack filled with tools. It was against UAW rules to work in the plants, so I had to hide this shit. I sometimes wore the Leatherman on a belt as I could explain it was for investigation purposes only. Next to the Blackberry and the cell phone it did not stand out.

As Martha Somebody would say, it is a great thing to have. And it fits in your purse, pack or junk drawer. And it comes in different sizes, mine was the largest when I got it 15 years ago. Yea, they last a long time.

Get one, you will be happy.

Just Wanna have fun

It is so good I needed it twice. Not really just suck at posting pictures.

Yesterday afternoon Big Daddy had to go to the coffee shop in the hotel to use the WiFi to make a conference call. This is because the Internet in the apartment was not working, again. As he was leaving I gave him a list of complaints for the hotel manager; 1. Why do the ayis keep shorting us towels? 2. When are you going to fix the floor that is getting worse and becoming a safety hazard? 3. Why is the TV on the fritz all the time? 4. Why is the Internet so unreliable? He did his job well.

1. He asked the Head Housekeeper if the ayis could not count to 4. That is the number of towel sets we are supposed to receive. She said she would investigate and get us a towel. What amazed me is she actually tested her quality system and sent a bogey through. Instead of the one towel we were missing the ayi brought two. So yes we have verified they cannot count. We have also verified that the bogey usually gets to the customer which is why most companies quit using that method.

2. I received a phone call from the hotel manager about the floor. I was amazed. We discussed the disintegrating piece of phony wood that is losing veneer every time the ayi beats the shit out of it with the vacuum cleaner. The first time they tore it up I made them call maintenance. Shemp came up and looked it over, pulled off the cracked and loose veneer and then he went and got a can of brown paint. When he finished painting the floor he looked at me and I said no. So he shrugged his shoulders and painted it again. So someone is supposed to come up this morning and stare at the floor with me.

3. The TV cable company is owned by the same people that run the phones. They are having problems and are supposed to be fixing it as we speak. That is the reason we have no TV sometimes, they are fixing it.

4. The Internet. Now that is an interesting story. It seems most of the complaints, recently over 100, are coming from the ex-pat buildings. Apparently they sort us into groups and keep us segregated. And our 2 buildings are the complainers. Now we knew there was nothing he could do about this one but it was funny to witness the hemming and hawing. While BD was registering his complaints one of our new neighbors walked up complaining about the Internet. There are people here trying to do business and cannot connect to their customers and clients. I just want to do the crossword puzzle.

BD had to leave me in charge as he was needed in BFE today. I think he feels confident in my abilities as I handled the flower lady quite well yesterday. He has this system worked out where he calls her and she says jabba, jabba, jabba. Then later the front desk calls and says jabba, jabba. Then you go downstairs and there she is with her flower bike. Well, he called her on the holiday and she sent him a text message in Chinese. Sure enough yesterday around noon I get a call on the apartment phone with jabba, jabba. Thank God I remembered the text message and trudged down to the lobby to find the flower lady parked outside in the rain. Took care of the flower purchase and arranged the flowers. Now keep in mind we buy a lot of flowers. This takes 2 people just to get them upstairs. And I bought sunflowers as they were so cheery. And I think I ruined my Leatherman tool sawing the stems off.

Later

Detroit Traffic Report

According to Big Daddy, one of the few still working in Detroit, there is hardly any traffic. Assembly plants down, schools down, most people with sense staying home. Wonder if the gas will go up or down. He had to go to London, Ontario today and hardly any trucks on the 401. The judge isn't making any quick decisions on Chrysler and I missed my call to Marvin. I was sitting and waiting, all ready to call, and I got really entranced by the new James Patterson 8th Confession and I could not put it down. Then I had to re-charge my ecigarettes and fill them up and the next thing I knew I missed the window. Damn, now I have to wait til Thursday. And that book is going to have me antsy for days.

Well, back to the Clampetts. Now on my regular schedule I get up at 4AM. If there are problems earlier. So I am laying in bed and I wake up to the most horrendous noise and notice it is 3:30 in the morning. This noise is scaring me as I think something really bad is happening. I get Big Daddy awake and we start peering out the windows, and what do we observe? Jed Clampett throwing large metal things from his cargo van onto the street. He is parked on the street and cleaning out his van very loudly at 3:30 in the morning. WTF. He is in "Heating and Cooling" and apparently looking for a lost furnace by the size of the shit he was throwing in the street. Now Mrs. Clampett is always looking real Grosse Pointe in her skirts and pearls and Jed is CLEANING out his van on what is the middle of the night for most people on my street. As I pulled out to go to work in the dark I wonder what I may drive over to flat my tires. And those tires cost $250 a pop.

About two years ago the city started leaving paint markings on the sidewalks. There were strange number and different colors. Big Daddy explained the city was replacing sidewalks and driveway aprons and the colors were for who paid, us or them. This created quite a few hassles as were are on a dead-end street. Well, one day I arrived home to once again confront the cement trucks when I noticed there where gaping holes in the sidewalks. They were finally finishing up, hooray. Big Daddy was happy and watched all this from the porch as that is something men do. Watch cement pouring workers, working.

I was inside doing wifely things when I heard Big Daddy hollering. Big Daddy hollering is never good as he is a pretty quiet guy. When I got outside he and the cement guy are talking and the neighbor is asking who did this, this being all the fresh cement was carved up. The spawns of the Clampetts had taken their $75.00 Leatherman tools and dug up some cement from every slab on the street. I would say 8 or 9 slabs. Mr. Cement Supervisor is not happy, Big Daddy is his witness, and here comes Jed. And the nice Mexican cement finisher is blowing his top. Next thing I see is a rumble getting ready to start in the street. I call 911 and tell the lady, this is gonna get ugly. Mr. Cement Supervisor also called and a minute later here comes Grosse Pointe's finest. Now I have seen them send 3 cars for a lost dog but we get one car for a re-enactment of West Side Story. As Jed is loudly telling the police that his kids did nothing wrong, Juan explodes and goes for Jed while Mrs. Clampett tries to sucker punch Juan and the supervisor. This is great entertainment in a town not known for fisticuffs in the street.

The policeman was wishing he had help as he had to get Jed to apologize to Juan or Juan would not fix the cement. Now Jed proudly proclaimed he would pay for all the cement, I am sure not realizing how much this cement would cost. I have personal experience with this one. If Juan fixed the slabs it would be $600.00 per slab or it would be a do-over. Jed sucked it up and said sorry, the cop guarded Juan, and the Clampett kids moved on to carving up trees after that episode. By the way, these kids were about 4 and 5 and both have expensive Leatherman tools. I nearly choked when I bought mine and I used it for work.

How do I know how much cements costs? When Punkin Head started to drive he had a brand new Jeep. And he drove it through 3,000 yards of newly laid street in the Grosse Pointes. The garbage men turned him in and when poor Dr. Blank got home to find 4 boys, a hose, and the police in his driveway the gig was up. The bill came in the mail a few days later. Cement is not cheap.