Sync my ride, or chatting with a guy from Calcutta

Upon re-entering the US at the Rainbow Bridge, Niagara Falls, we promptly missed the turn-off for the by-pass to I-90 East. I-90 takes you clear across New York State. Things I learned on I-90 included how to tailgate, passing on the right is the law of the land, if 20 cars are bumper to bumper traveling at 75 miles an hour some asshat will pull up behind and flash his headlights for you to pull over so he can tailgate the person in front of you. And it works. I saw very agressive guys in huge trucks move 20 cars in minutes. It was truly amazing to watch.

 I-90 is a four lane divided toll road and got boring after a while. Punkin Head called to let us know that we were not required to attend the rehearsal so we decided to take a side trip. Big Mistake. It made the getting lost in Tonawanda look like child's play. Out first clue should have been the Sync my ride operator from Calcutta. I did ask myself why we were asking someone in India to route us through the Adirondacks, but Big Daddy wanted to use the technology. Then as a back-up he also figured out how to route us through my phone. The route was from Utica, New York to Middlebury Vermont.

We of course picked the most desolate route through the mountains. No tourist stuff here. Also no gas stations, restaurants, human beings, etc. Only snow plow turn-arounds and deer. Lots of deer. I only almost hit the deer once. Missing them was a vast relief. I did however pummel Peter Cottontail with the underbody of my Ford Fusion and I had to duke it out with Tom Turkey. Tom Turkey was the largest wild turkey BD had ever seen and he was sitting in the only lane open on a bridge in an abandoned construction zone. I did not swerve but I did hit the brakes to avoid hitting him. He was taller than my front end. BD said if I had hit him at speed he might have flipped up and broken the windshield.

Just when my blood sugar hit bottom and I was ready to cry we stumbled onto the Oxbow Inn. It was pretty scary but at this point I was beyond caring. I was reminded of those horror films where the innocent tourist goes inside and is never heard from again. After some fried clams, french fries and a glass of Pinot Grigio I was much better and we continued forth.

And we only got lost one more time. We made it with 45 minutes to spare before the rehearsal dinner. And a good time was had by all.

More Toilet stories

This is Eliot, Punkin Head's other cat, the cat from Hell, and I have the scratches to prove it.

Well as usual when I arrived home there were problems with the house. The toilet I had rebuilt a few months ago would not flush. And it needed a new seat and lid. The toilet in the basement was auditioning for a horror movie. The lights in the laundry room were both haunted and loose.

Big Daddy jumped in to tackle the problems and proved he still needs me. He did quite well on his chores until he got to the replacement toilet seat. He took it off and then informed us we would have to be Chinese people if we had bodily function needs. I then inquired as to what the hell he thought he was doing. He was going to put new hardware on the old toilet seat. This is a wooden seat purchased about 15 years ago. Of course I told him that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. Then we heard a lot of noise in the basement, kinda like power tool noises. Then he came upstairs and told me he was going to buy a new toilet seat. Then Mr. Color Blind went to the smallest little store in town and bought a pink seat that is too big for a peach 1950's toilet. So I went to pee and could not flush the toilet. Big Daddy says I do not know how to flush the toilet properly. Now I will admit I have a Toto toilet in China (best toilet in the world) but come on, I have been flushing for a good many years. Now it takes a goodly amount of force to flush this toilet. I am predicting new toilet pieces in the near future.

Teeth are killing me so more pain pills have been consumed. I am supposed to go shopping tomorrow, we will see.

Oh and the car Sync did not work on BD's phone.