Pipes Cleaning

Friday was the long awaited colonoscopy and the down the throat thing. Interesting things were noted.

There is no way Michael Jackson got up and danced after taking that stuff. The Propofol that is.  He had to take something to pump him up.

The doctor stretched my esophagus and I don't know why, but it hurts like hell.

The worst part was the making of the gunk to drink for the prep. There is jar of powder substance that is a laxative and 2 bottles of 32 ounce Gatorade required. You put half the powder into each bottle. I am a very literal person so I set a lab scenario to accomplish this task. I had my notepad to note how many measures I put into each container. Well I put one measure into each bottle and then I noticed that I could not get a second measure in as the level of the Gatorade had risen to the top of the bottle. I was flummoxed, how was I going to get this sizable jar of powder into these bottles when the first 1/8 C measure almost sent the liquid cascading over the rim. I had to sit down and breathe to keep from crying, this was not going according to plan.

Okay, I improvised and dumped the one bottle into a lidded pitcher (Punkin Head helped me figure this out) and then used the two bottles to mix the other portion. But why do they tell you to put the shit into the bottle when they know you can't fit that shit into the bottle? And I am normally a fairly bright person but on the brink of shitting my brains out with no food, well, that is not a good time for me to have to figure out on my own that the directions for the gunk sucks.

Anyway it all looks okay to the doc and I will get the 3  biopsy results soon and I have a hiatus hernia. They say no big deal, no cure, no harm, no foul, just avoid a few things and life is good. The usual suspects of course-nicotine, alcohol, caffeine- but some surprising additions, chocolate, peppermint and spearmint. So of course today when I could swallow I ate a chocolate croissant to make up for all the pain and guess what, I got the aggravating little pain. That one is gonna piss me off, tell a broad no chocolate? I don't think so.

Me and Michael Jackson

Going along with my New Year's resolutions I am in a flurry of job seeking and doctor's visits. I did go to the internist last summer and decided I never wanted to see him again. And we both had medication left from China so we were fine on the prescriptions. Well I found a new internist and I really like him. He is from Nigeria and has a great sense of humor. He really did not like my stories from China and decided I need a colonoscopy and a camera down my throat to look into my stomach. Well I told him that was going to require extreme Valium just to get to the testing place. He told me not worry they are using new drugs now for the test, Propofol. I said just like what killed Michael Jackson and he said yes, with some excitement in his voice. I am hoping this works out better for me than it did for Michael.

At the end right after my flu shot he came back in and asked when my last EKG was and I told him  my physical in China and it was great. He said nuhuh, my EKG was abnormal. I never did trust those tests in China.  So I have to go for a stress echo test. Now I could research this on the Internet which I know is not a good idea for me, I mean surely there are some normal people with abnormal EKG's that are just fine. Then when I am on the phone Friday afternoon I had a call come in when I was already talking to someone and when I checked the caller ID it was my doctor's office. I really hate it when they call the day after you have tests. Nothing good ever comes of that. Well, when I called back they were closed. They close early on Friday. So I have all weekend to wonder why they were calling me.

Monday I go to see the dermatologist and naturally my face is clearing up as we speak. Thursday I am seeing the dentist which reminds me I need to pick up my Valium from the drugstore. I only take Valium when I am going to the doctor/dentist. Not the Internist though as that would mess up the tests. Then the end of the month is the stress test and Gynecologist which we just do not like to talk about.

And I need to call my recruiters on Monday and see if employment is in my future. I am on the fence about going back to my old job description. I keep thinking about how nice it would be to have a job that when you leave you are done working for the day.

I am having a no fun day

Went to bed last night to the pop pop pop of the fireworks. This is now a nightly event and Sammy is still not fond of the noises. He sits in the bed watching the window. He can't see out the window but he waits and watches.

Around 1 AM my GI tract made a decision, this would be a night from hell. Every time I got out of bed Sammy would get out of bed. When I got back into bed I felt like shit and was freezing so I did not worry about where Sammy was. He showed back up a few minutes later without fail, all night long.

When we got up and asked Big Daddy to cancel the furnace people the weather decided to have huge thunderstorms. Sammy does not like those either. He sits under  my feet or he follows me back and forth to the bathroom. He does not bark or whine, he just looks really concerned.

Well, Big Daddy was home for 1 and 1/2 days when they told him no more travel for a couple months. So, of course within the hour he told me he has to go to China the 21st, and stay for the week. I know I will have to schedule a colonoscopy after I see the doc on Thursday and he will need to be home for that, gotta have a driver.

Wow, just heard Andy Griffith has died. That is sad, loved that show.