Herding Cats, or Why My Wife is Not Crazy

For a week or so I have been hiding, complaining, and acting bizarre. I have been hearing cats. Meow, meow. I have been shutting the kitchen door at night as if this was going to keep the legion of cats from attacking me. 

It seems this was a good idea.

There was a massive herd of cats loosed into our buildings. Into the stairwells. They were monitored, by the government.

Their job, to catch the mice and rats.

They were government cats. They were highly trained cats. They were sent on their cat missions by uniformed government officials. No shit, I can't make this shit up. Hang on, this gets really better.

They found the enemy. The cats, found the enemy. Not in my building thank goodness. It is about 100 yards from my building. That would be about 91 and 1 half meters for the non Americans. Or as Big Daddy says half a furlong.

When we lived in Grosse Pointe one day on his way home one day BD witnessed the Titty bar on Michigan Avenue knocked down by bulldozers. There where thousands of rats escaping across the street. He said it was the most bizarre sight he has ever seen, rats, rats, everywhere and not a cat in sight. He said they covered a half a furlong in thirty seconds. In heavy traffic.

So I am quite sure the rats will not reach my apartment.  Because the government sent in fighter cats. Chinese fighting cats. Each government person carried in a fighter cat in each arm. These are not the discovery cats, they are the fighter cats.

 They also put out notices that no one should allow their children to play in the stairways as Ratazide has been applied.


So, the next time I tell someone I hear or see weird shit, I don't think anyone should just poo poo what I say.