Laugh of the day

One of my neighbors, the ones I affectionately refer to as The Clampetts had a political sign in their yard this morning. Number one it is a first for them to express an opinion on anything other than their kids not being the assholes the cops are looking for or why we all object to their spawn carving  up newly laid cement.

Picture Mr. Clampett, kinda overweight big guy, pants to the butt crack. He is usually seen throwing heating and cooling parts out of his truck onto the street at 4 in the morning OR standing around his crappy yard with a beer bottle (same pants) and calling his wife worse things than even I use as swear words. Usually his spawn are standing there and listening to his description of their mother.

Have you guessed who he supports yet? Come on, it is not hard.

Rick Santorum. Huh? Clampett is ape shit crazy. Does he think at any moment in time Rick would not have him shot as the head asshole of all assholes. Clampett supports a man who is the saint of all home schoolers and Clampett can't find his kids most days. And his wife tried to cold cock a cop in the middle of the street.

That was the beginning of the end, when the Clampetts moved into our neighborhood.

Cheap Phony luggage

It appears we are now collectors. Of phony luggage. Phony Tumi, phony Wenger, but no phony Samsonite. Can't get the phony Samsonite we wanted, some other collector of phony shit bought it out from under us.

Don't want to talk about this. This is a Big Daddy obsession and we all deserve our personal obsessions.

So if you see what may appear to be expensive luggage with paint pen writing on all 4 sides, say hello. Its us, the Clampetts, traveling incognito. Shit, I should have made him write Clampett on the luggage.

Found Mento's for the trip home, hope they are not phony, excuse me, faux.