Yak Meat and other fun stuff

Well we returned from our business trip to Shenzhen in fine form. And we both got to do our Chinese hobbies. Mine is buying fake shit and then looking it up on the Internet to find out it is phony fake shit. Big Daddie's hobby is not letting Chinese people push past him on airplanes. And we found success in our pursuits.

We went to LoWu market Friday night and shopped til we dropped. No pearls worth buying. Found some shoes at one store that were so bad it was funny. I actually saw one girl walking on crooked heels carrying her worn out Chanel bag. And all the back pockets on the jeans are too low, looks like the pockets are on their legs instead of their butts. Anyway, found some shoes that are not phony. Hmmm. They do have a Chinese name inside but they can't be found on the Internet. Not bad so I got them and while we were waiting Big Daddy told me his good watch was not working. So we looked at Fake watches. Remember, best prices are on bulk purchases. Well, we got the Fake watches, not phony shoes and no name readers. Decent price and I had her laughing so hard she could not do the phony tears.

When we got back to the hotel and I looked up the watches, they are not even close to the real ones or the Fake ones. This just proves BDs theory that everything is phony here. I think it proves my theory that the factories have a bunch of shit they can't use and so their second cousin in the very back room making shit out of whatever pieces seem to fit together. Did not buy the IWC watches as all the faces were crooked.

So far watches are running and show the correct time and the shoes are good enough to walk to the rabbit warren. No further.

On the trip back BD was ready for the plane pushers (people that like to push in front of you when there is no room) because they put their luggage in the overhead in the front of bin farthest away from their seat, which was behind us. Now BD is a large sized guy so getting past him is no easy task for the faint-hearted. First BD gets in the aisle and takes his stance. This is like when the nose guard lines up in front of the quarterback. Then he gets our luggage from the other side. I am the wide reciever. Opposing team's wide reciever tries to put her luggage in BD's seat. Flag on the play. That is where my shit goes--not her shit. She is pissed and pushes BD who inadvertently steps on her toe. She glares at me. The icing on the cookie comes when BD reaches over and pats my cheek. You could actually see steam coming from her head.

So we haul our fake, phony shit home and remember we have no coffee. Off to visit Amay and try out the shoes. Amay is happy to see us as she just returned from her trip to review the solar cookers in BFE. She tells us 9 hours by train to the mountains and she brought us presents. BD recieved hand rolled cigars from the mountains and I got Yak meat. I think this came from the gorgeous Yak herder that saved me back in December. I am saving it for a special occasion. BD says the cigars are great.

Snippets:

My mother might still be alive, I have not heard from her since October. Punkin Head says he is getting "forwarded emails". She missed my birthday.

Had the all-time 3rd worst taxi driver in history in Shenzhen. I swear this guy was either certified for lunacy or on a death wish. He bottomed out the taxi twice. Then he wanted a tip. BD told him he was an asshole. Gotta learn that word in Chinese. Maybe I can get Amay to write it on a coaster.

We were able to enjoy the energy/electical/generator debacle in person. At a certain time in the morning all the juice is shut off. Then it is slowly converted to whatever power they use and power comes back on. Would not like to be in the elevator when this happens, yes it just shuts down and there you are. Stuck. Either 7 or 7:15, could not figure out the exact time it shuts down and how long it is off as things come back at different stages. TV and Internet were the last. They sent someone to our room to explain. In Chinglese.

Only a couple weeks until I go home and I am getting excited. Drinking tap water, getting a real hairdo, buying clothes and a pedicure-what dreams are made of.

Things I take for granted and cake

There are a few things that are difficult here in China. There are a few strange things. And some things just aren't right.

I am becoming obsessed by toilets. The ones you can sit on. Few and far between here. And they are not real big on toilet paper. And they don't flush it. If you are ever lucky enough to find a sit down toilet and decide to flush the toilet paper, only flush one wad of paper at a time. Have your own tissue and disinfectant wipe in your pants pocket. Just trust me on this one. And if you are a woman make sure your purse is a shoulder bag that will stay on your shoulder when you are out using the toilet. I personally think the across the body bag is better. And this is in the better hotels.

Cleaning products and Febreeze. Things being clean. A washer/dryer that does not take 5 hours for the smallest load ever. I need a Siemens manual. Because this just can't be right.

Central heating. Or just heat in all the rooms. Need rugs, but first need to figure out rug delivery. Figured out grocery and restaurant delivery.

Got a shopping lead that may fit my needs for friends. And me too, but no fakes. Do not want to test my black cloud at US Customs on the faux Prada. Buddy Boy kept telling me he would take us to the Fake Market, I kept trying to explain #1 I can get that in New York and #2 US Customs takes a dim view of fabulous fakes. I want real Chinese things from he calls local area.

Now on to the cakes. Everywhere I go there are fabulous looking cakes. And cake displays. And cake making events. The thing is you never see anyone buy or eat cake. Never. I checked the dessert menu last night and there was no cake on it. The cakes were right at the entrance to the restaurant, but no cake on the menu. WTF.