Lesson learned, do not take pet to pet store

So after my girlie relaxation mani and pedi I took the crazy dog to Lou's Pet Store to pick up the corkscrew stake. They did not have it. They did have gerbils and hamsters and birds and fish and all kinds of fun shit for Sammy to explore. Never again. And everyone seems tp take their dogs in there; the sidewalk and median was an orgy of smells for my dog. They are supposed to call me on Saturday if they get the stake.

Next we went to the police department to get our dog tag. You park  and then have to walk all the way around the building to get your tag. Well, this was another sniffing bonanza for Sammy. I honestly think his sniffer must be sprained because no one can sniff that much.

Big Daddy made it to the airport during the taxi strike and is now waiting to board his planes for home.  About 25 hours all together.

Oh, an update on my no smoking. I think recently my sense of smell returned and for those of you who never smoked, it stinks out there. I can not get over how much everything stinks, stinks, stinks. I am sure it smells worse than the last time I quit smoking, that was about 8 years ago. Does climate change make it smell worse? And in my opinion someone needs to go through every building with a fire hose and wash them down and all persons need to review their personal habits and bathe/shower daily, if not more often. And people should really take advantage of scent free products.

What do you do when . . .

The government uses a pass key and walks into your room demanding your passport?

Eventually you give it to them.

Democracy my ass.

Of course Big Daddy got a nice fruit bowl as an apology from the hotel.

He said the only country that is more corrupt and demanding of bribes is Russia.

Old Navy finally showed up

Yep, I finally received the big and cheap clothes. I am not impressed.

I will critique these items in the next few days.

I am assuming size large means many things to many people. I am guessing I am wrong.

I did however get my Amazon book order in 2 days, hurrah, delivery was John Sanford's Stolen Prey and Stuart Woods' Unnatural Acts. I forgot to order Charlaine Harris  latest Sookie book, but maybe I am over that nonsense. Also ordered Joan Hess, "Deader Homes & Gardens", we will see.

Big Daddy is escaping in the nick of time

India is going on strike. The government has moved the army into Bangalore to keep the peace. First strike starts tomorrow, India raised the price of gasoline. Second strike starts Friday, the government also added tariffs to taxis and trucks and decreed all trucks must have a governor so the vehicle can not go over 48 MPH. All righty. The army is there because the word is out, if you drive around and go along with shit, you will be beaten to a pulp. He shipped his parts out, confirmed his material may never get in and tried to change his flight.

No go on the flight change, but they only have to go off the grid for one mile to get to the airport. No problem.
Prolly through the rogue elephant's compound.

Punkin Head filled my refrigerator with coconut drinks and frozen floes to see if that helps with the stomach upsets. Trader Joe's has quite a bit of it. Will report out on the project.

1 1/2 or 2 1/2 days to BD at home depending on how you count.

Looks can be deceiving

Some look innocent and some chew on a pizzle.

Don't know what a pizzle is, well it is a dog chewy made out of a bull's penis. Mine, or should I say Sammy's, is braided. Yep, dried and braided bull penis. No wonder Sammy wants to bring it to bed every night. Good thing they are cheap at Trader Joe's.

Punkin Head and The Lady came and helped carve a path in the front jungle. Now in addition to the garbage bags and the recycling shit I now have to drag out yard waste bags on Friday mornings. Yea for me.

And my cheap fat clothes are still not here, guess Old Navy are big fat liars in addition to being smart asses.

Big Daddy is supposed to be home Friday afternoon, we will see.

Math has never been my forte

Okay, feeling exceptionally fat and having no clothes I finally found the biggest ugliest clothes known to man on the Old Navy Internet site. The clothes were big and not very expensive except for the exercise type pants which I felt I needed. I paid $17.00 shipping to get them here quicker, which I thought was high for shipping but when you are fat you do strange things. Well, they are not here 3 and 1/2 days later. So I called Old Navy.

I did not pay for the fastest shipping, thank God, I paid for the second fastest which is 2 to 3 days. But that does not include Saturday, Sunday, or holidays which in my case means 6 days for shipping. At that point I said I should have taken the free shipping and his response was that would have meant I would get the coveted fat clothes June 9. More weekends you know. Free shipping, ordering May 23 after 3 PM and delivery June 9.   I went back to the website as Mr. Snotty Ass said it was all spelled out there and guess what, it was not.

How the hell are they shipping this stuff, homeless people walking it to you?

You know what, this is why America is fucked up. If you have to sleaze yourself to get sales, well that is just wrong. And so, I may or may not keep the cheap fat clothes but I doubt I will ever buy anything from the Gap group again. There are too many other assholes out there screaming for my money.

I can't make this shit up

For many years we have lived with the fact that Big Daddy looks quite a bit like Dick Cheney. They could be brothers. TSA has remarked how much he looks like Cheney while wanding him at the airport. Gennifer Flowers called him Dick Cheney at her nightclub. It goes on and on.

Well today BD was at the temple or palace or whatever in Mysore, India and yep-it happened again. He was approached by a group of trainee soldiers wanting their picture taken with BD. When they were finished they thanked Mr. Chinny. Yep, they thought he was Dick Cheney. This time however he got the full celebrity treatment. Apparently the Indians are star struck for any famous person and they mobbed BD for pictures. The soldiers video taped him and the driver said that was the most pictures ever taken of a faux celebrity. The runner-up is some guys wife named Angie who they thought was Angelina Jolie. She ran and hid, avoiding the big mob scene.

BD got some great shopping bargains, which will be detailed later, and sore feet from walking the palaces without shoes. He ruined one pair of flight socks.

He had a fabulous lunch at one of the palaces that was converted into a resort and KFC for dinner. It kills me no matter where you go there is a KFC.

Pictures to follow as soon as he uploads them, but Punkin Head found a picture of the Mysore Palace at night on the Internet and it is a huge and gorgeous place. Punkin Head is at the music venue downtown this weekend so he spent the night here. The Greektown Casino Hotel told him that no outside beverages are allowed to brought into the hotel so he is smuggling his in my Trader Joe's insulated grocery bag, it has a zipper.