My doctor is impressed and amazed by my colon. I have the most diverticulosis in the history of his practice. It is from one end to the other. I am certain I am going to have to wear a bag later in life. And no one knows how this happens.
He told me this yesterday when I went in to get my hand looked at. My hand has 2 separate problems, one is a nerve problem. So he gave me pills for this, which I hate taking pills. The side effects were kinda scary with blurred vision being one-so I am not taking the pills until Big Daddy returns home. Don't want to be dopey and blurry on my own. The other problem I need a hand specialist for as it might be a ganglion cyst and it might not. Both conditions hurt and that is enough for me.
Last Friday, the day of my procedure was Big Daddy's birthday party. I was awake by then and Punkin Head made him his favorite, Pineapple Upside Down cake in the iron skillet. He is the best boy ever. He also got him a new UofM sweatshirt as that was one of his favorite gifts ever.
Good fun is in the offing as The Fiancee wants to "borrow" my jewels and we get to fondle and play with them to pick something out.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Mother of the groom dress
The worst thing ever has happened. The mother of the bride did not go with the custom made dress and she went and bought a dress at Nordstrom. That is where I am going to buy a dress. I kinda have mine picked out online and I am going to buy the dress soon.
What if she bought my dress. I know, you are saying what is the chance of that. Well, here is a story for ya.
Back in the day my grandmother was dating/living with a guy, an old friend of the family. My grandpa died and gramma found a friend who longed to be closer and she agreed. The only problem was, I think he was married. Whatever. Anyway his daughter was getting married and my family was invited and we all had to go as a show of support for grandma. Maybe he was divorced then, or close to it.
My grandma found this dress to wear to the wedding, it was a blue sheath type-floor length number with a chiffon over-lay caftan type thing. It was airy and the caftan thing kind of flowed with impressionist colors of blue and green over white. This was not a wallflower dress.
Guess who wore the same damn dress. Yes, the ex-wife mother of the bride. It was something to behold.
What if she bought my dress. I know, you are saying what is the chance of that. Well, here is a story for ya.
Back in the day my grandmother was dating/living with a guy, an old friend of the family. My grandpa died and gramma found a friend who longed to be closer and she agreed. The only problem was, I think he was married. Whatever. Anyway his daughter was getting married and my family was invited and we all had to go as a show of support for grandma. Maybe he was divorced then, or close to it.
My grandma found this dress to wear to the wedding, it was a blue sheath type-floor length number with a chiffon over-lay caftan type thing. It was airy and the caftan thing kind of flowed with impressionist colors of blue and green over white. This was not a wallflower dress.
Guess who wore the same damn dress. Yes, the ex-wife mother of the bride. It was something to behold.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Pipes Cleaning
Friday was the long awaited colonoscopy and the down the throat thing. Interesting things were noted.
There is no way Michael Jackson got up and danced after taking that stuff. The Propofol that is. He had to take something to pump him up.
The doctor stretched my esophagus and I don't know why, but it hurts like hell.
The worst part was the making of the gunk to drink for the prep. There is jar of powder substance that is a laxative and 2 bottles of 32 ounce Gatorade required. You put half the powder into each bottle. I am a very literal person so I set a lab scenario to accomplish this task. I had my notepad to note how many measures I put into each container. Well I put one measure into each bottle and then I noticed that I could not get a second measure in as the level of the Gatorade had risen to the top of the bottle. I was flummoxed, how was I going to get this sizable jar of powder into these bottles when the first 1/8 C measure almost sent the liquid cascading over the rim. I had to sit down and breathe to keep from crying, this was not going according to plan.
Okay, I improvised and dumped the one bottle into a lidded pitcher (Punkin Head helped me figure this out) and then used the two bottles to mix the other portion. But why do they tell you to put the shit into the bottle when they know you can't fit that shit into the bottle? And I am normally a fairly bright person but on the brink of shitting my brains out with no food, well, that is not a good time for me to have to figure out on my own that the directions for the gunk sucks.
Anyway it all looks okay to the doc and I will get the 3 biopsy results soon and I have a hiatus hernia. They say no big deal, no cure, no harm, no foul, just avoid a few things and life is good. The usual suspects of course-nicotine, alcohol, caffeine- but some surprising additions, chocolate, peppermint and spearmint. So of course today when I could swallow I ate a chocolate croissant to make up for all the pain and guess what, I got the aggravating little pain. That one is gonna piss me off, tell a broad no chocolate? I don't think so.
There is no way Michael Jackson got up and danced after taking that stuff. The Propofol that is. He had to take something to pump him up.
The doctor stretched my esophagus and I don't know why, but it hurts like hell.
The worst part was the making of the gunk to drink for the prep. There is jar of powder substance that is a laxative and 2 bottles of 32 ounce Gatorade required. You put half the powder into each bottle. I am a very literal person so I set a lab scenario to accomplish this task. I had my notepad to note how many measures I put into each container. Well I put one measure into each bottle and then I noticed that I could not get a second measure in as the level of the Gatorade had risen to the top of the bottle. I was flummoxed, how was I going to get this sizable jar of powder into these bottles when the first 1/8 C measure almost sent the liquid cascading over the rim. I had to sit down and breathe to keep from crying, this was not going according to plan.
Okay, I improvised and dumped the one bottle into a lidded pitcher (Punkin Head helped me figure this out) and then used the two bottles to mix the other portion. But why do they tell you to put the shit into the bottle when they know you can't fit that shit into the bottle? And I am normally a fairly bright person but on the brink of shitting my brains out with no food, well, that is not a good time for me to have to figure out on my own that the directions for the gunk sucks.
Anyway it all looks okay to the doc and I will get the 3 biopsy results soon and I have a hiatus hernia. They say no big deal, no cure, no harm, no foul, just avoid a few things and life is good. The usual suspects of course-nicotine, alcohol, caffeine- but some surprising additions, chocolate, peppermint and spearmint. So of course today when I could swallow I ate a chocolate croissant to make up for all the pain and guess what, I got the aggravating little pain. That one is gonna piss me off, tell a broad no chocolate? I don't think so.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Cherry Blossoms
This tree is making my allergies worse than ever.
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Street in front of my house coated with the cherry blossoms.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Poblano peppers stuffed with Quinoa
This dinner took all day.
That sauce took hours as it had to be prepared, grilled in foil, pureed and then finished.
The only thing on that plate with any taste was the pork.
What is it with the Food & Wine cookbooks and the bland food. The pictures are great, the food looks good and one would think that spending a day cooking would yield some delightful fare.
Not so.
Monday, May 20, 2013
The Barber of the village
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Columbine randomly growing in my landscaping, I think this may be the Rocky Mountain variety
Big Daddy always has a bitch of a time trying to get a haircut. It was no different in China, it just cost a whole lot less to look like shit.
Back in the day he used to have Earl cut his hair. Earl was the only guy to give a razor shave. Big Daddy quit Earl because he was just too old. He was 97, he started cutting hair when he was 16.
Then BD moved on to Tony, but when he came back from China Tony was shaking so bad he scared BD. He was 86.
Big Daddy then moved on to John, he is a youngster at 71 but he does the worst haircut I have ever seen.
So this evening BD and I are back in the nook at the wrought iron table with the hair cutting kit from the drug store and I am cutting his hair. A little younger than the last guys, I would like to think a bit cuter, and certainly a bit pickier. A glass of wine, clippers with a number one, and some scissors, yep he looks good.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The Rogue Driver
Punkin Head called and told me he remembered why he hated Philly airport. The airport is filled with every degenerate imaginable. A simple asshat would never hold a candle to an ordinary Philly traveler.
We used to travel there to visit PH when he went to Temple. God, it is was nasty. Trashiest place I have ever been. Even the homeless people are exceptionally cheeky.
I remember landing at the airport and while trying to find baggage there were signs all over the place about not hiring some kind of funky cab drivers, maybe unlicensed, I don't know. Anyway I was in charge of the ride while Big Daddy got the bags and yes I hired Tony, the illegitimate son of Guido who was kin to the Godfather. He had a really nice old Cadillac with mostly working parts.
And he let me sit in the front seat, that is a rule.
About a quarter mile from the airport I started to wonder where he was going to kill us. We made it to the Omni in record time at a safe speed and a reasonable price. And of course I tipped him, 20%.
PH is bringing me home chocolates from the region to try, we are thinking this may be a good substitute for dessert for the rehearsal dinner. It will be on the day every one travels in, Friday, and some of these people have family in tow. We are stuck with a more formal dinner scenario but I thought, with PH, that instead of dessert we would put out good chocolate for each and then people could retire to the wife and kids or with us the bar for an after dinner drink and coffee. What do you think? Is it okay to ditch dessert and let people to get back to their families on a Friday night after travel?
We used to travel there to visit PH when he went to Temple. God, it is was nasty. Trashiest place I have ever been. Even the homeless people are exceptionally cheeky.
I remember landing at the airport and while trying to find baggage there were signs all over the place about not hiring some kind of funky cab drivers, maybe unlicensed, I don't know. Anyway I was in charge of the ride while Big Daddy got the bags and yes I hired Tony, the illegitimate son of Guido who was kin to the Godfather. He had a really nice old Cadillac with mostly working parts.
And he let me sit in the front seat, that is a rule.
About a quarter mile from the airport I started to wonder where he was going to kill us. We made it to the Omni in record time at a safe speed and a reasonable price. And of course I tipped him, 20%.
PH is bringing me home chocolates from the region to try, we are thinking this may be a good substitute for dessert for the rehearsal dinner. It will be on the day every one travels in, Friday, and some of these people have family in tow. We are stuck with a more formal dinner scenario but I thought, with PH, that instead of dessert we would put out good chocolate for each and then people could retire to the wife and kids or with us the bar for an after dinner drink and coffee. What do you think? Is it okay to ditch dessert and let people to get back to their families on a Friday night after travel?
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