Missing Sam Walton or his kids suck

My Granddaughter the artist

I remember when I discovered Walmart. It was down south, Mississippi I think and it had the most interesting stuff. And it was all made in the USA. It was the best store ever. And then his kids took over and it was worse than KMart, dirtier than KMart and the people were all nasty and filthy and scary.

WTF. It seemed to happen overnight. That is why KMart closed, all the people went to Walmart so they did not have to dress up. It is just nasty.

And Sam's Club, don't get me started, who the hell goes there? No, no, no. It makes me itchy just to think about that store. My sister-in-law the queen went there and I was just appalled that she brought that nasty shit in her house, you knew people were peeing on that stuff out back. And don't tell me that does not happen because I used to have to go review auto parts that people peed on and those fuckers actually kept the containers of pee for me to review. And you people wonder why I drink.

Anyhoo, the moral of this story is do all the people who buy from Walmart and Amazon, who get their shit from China, realize that they are the ones causing extreme climate change because China does not worry about that EPA garbage. People, all you did was transfer your responsibilities to people who do not have toilets and running water.

Yep in a bad mood today. 

End of the month update on the current baloney

Don't ask me how but I downloaded this from my phone. These are my anniversary/funeral flowers. They are one sided and the back must be hidden. That is the last time for Conner Park Florist, no more. Something changed and I am done with those asshats. Yep, we had our 40th anniversary this weekend and all is well. We went to the Cornwall bakery as we always get treats on special occasions and I got a butter tart and an apple pie. They were not to my taste. Really pissed me off. We each bought a pair of shoes and called it good, just not feeling it this year.

My current foster dog Auggie is settling in nicely. He was on TV this morning as the dog of the week. We will see. His hair is just starting to grow in from the shaving and he is a French poodle with Chinese eyes. I keep him in the crate when I am busy and overnight and he is doing fine with that, but he sits next to me in the big chair when we watch TV or read and is quite content.

I am finished with the event monitor and it could not be soon enough, I was so tired of the wires and the thing hanging off me and finding clothes big enough to accommodate all the extra crap. I had the EMG where they stick needles in your arm, my case was the arm, and it was a non event. Sting was smaller than taking blood and I only felt it once. Good news is I have no nerve damage.

Big Daddy is in Mexico for his new job, just for the week, but the bad news is some asshat sourced some tools in China quite near the border with Tibet I believe. And of course someone has to go. This will only be a one week trip with a 19 hour flight. And they are liking China for future projects. WTF.

Last movie was Bridget Jones Baby. Wait for it on television. Movie this week will be the Magnificent Seven, the trailer was great so we will see. Oh I finally saw Brooklyn on TV and loved it. Tried Revenant and I just could not get into it. Started Survivor on TV but sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't.

Tonight is the debate and I cannot wait. So many rumors, so much hype, this will be great.

Random Crap

Gooey Duck from Big Daddy's last visit to China. He is going back in a few weeks if you want some.

Things my mother taught me: You buy the cheapest, ugliest, and tackiest plastic flowers from K Mart to put on graves so asshats will not steal them. It is the thought that counts. I can attest to the fact the flowers met all the above criteria.

I got a cold sore. I find this disturbing. It hurt like hell, at first I thought it was a paper cut, but why the hell would I have a paper cut in the corner of my mouth? I am wondering if this is all about that Shingles shit. And the expensive stuff, Abreva, works like a charm. Mine was caught early and quit hurting in one day and was gone on the third day.

I took my mom to Podunk and we stayed in a crappy hotel. It is called the Carlton in Adrian and it was not great. The advertised Adrian Bar and Grill was laughable. I could not find the bartender and when I went to the front desk they pointed to the bench out front where the bartender was taking a smoke break. My white wine in the plastic stemmed wine glass did not make me feel better.

Oh, and we went to dinner with relatives. At 4:30 to beat the rush. In a Coney Island attached to the gas station. Yep.

Xfinity is telling me they have a new way to watch , the thing is . . . there is nothing to watch.

Big Daddy finally found a fly swatter. They came in a three pack. So 2 friends are up for dibs on a swatter.

Next week I am finally getting to all my doctor type appointments. My eyes are Monday, I have 3 physical therapy sessions, on allergist appointment and a regular appointment with the Internist where I get to tell him about this new weird heart beat thing.  It is a busy week and I did want to go and see  the  4 Freshmen at the Dirty Dog Cafe. We will have to see how that works out.

Well Monday we get to start the Republican Convention and I do not care what you all say, this is gonna be fun. And Hillary will be as much fun in Philly. I just hope everyone keeps their sense of humor and fairness and remembers, we are all the same -----so be nice.

The tale of the traveling luggage.

Reed College

Well because of the volcano explosion in Russia Delta decided to send all the luggage to Heathrow and have Virgin Atlantic fly it to Hong Kong. A bunch of bags did end up in Hong Kong, just not Big Daddy's. So now every night he washes his clothes before bed.

He is more upset about the Aero something coffee press he uses there, the Chinese do not know how to make good coffee.

The Chinese are not very big and certainly not tall and BD cannot find clothes to fit him in China. Bummer.

I put in application to a pet adoption agency for a dog. I doubt this will work out as the questions were stupid and I do not have a lot of patience for bullshit right now.

Regular crap

Until I figure out the picture thing you get what you get. And that expression kinda says it all.

Delta Airlines has once again figured out a way to piss off their customers. They cannot sell the middle seats for any amount of money. So they made them comfort seats and upgrade the low level assholes like Big Daddy and put them in those seats. Yes, they took BD from an exit row aisle to a middle "comfort' seat and called it an upgrade. Listening to the phone conversation between BD and the "Calcutta" Delta rep was a hoot. Because once you are upgraded you cannot change your seat yourself, you have to call "Calcutta" and ask them to help you.

I have been looking for a new lipstick and for some reason chose Revlon Color Stay Suede. It is kinda like having the driest ugliest lips ever. Buyer beware.

The crooked house now has a crooked driveway. Could not get pics but I will try this week.

Punkin Head is in the twin cities for a conference and tells me he is in the shabbiest Sheraton ever. I am looking forward to those pics.

Mom and I furniture shopped this week and I was pleasantly surprised by the Lazy Boy store. Next week we are going to Barnes and Noble and this I fear, my mom could spend days in a bookstore without food or water. This one does have a Star Bucks so I can get crappy food and coffee while I wait.

BD is off to China tomorrow so the cat and I are on our own. And we are not happy.

Baby Toes.

Baby toes.

They took Curly's nose tube out this morning and she is appliance free. It must be liberating. Punkin Head and Wonder Woman have got to be excited. PH said she might be able to go home on Tuesday.

This has been the month from hell.

We had a yard hold that was very serious and a nightmare, followed by a trial from hell now followed by a new really ugly issue that everyone is ignoring. Great, that is one more thing I get to deal with on Monday.

I spent the weekend working with the Mexicans to convince them that yes, it is a big deal and yes, you have to respond in a certain way, and yes it is gonna cost a bunch. What a waste of my time and I had to talk to the boss man about the over time again. And this has nothing to do with the above, this is additional more bullshit.

 I am just counting the days until we go to Portland.

And the gal I work with that I recommended for the job and helped train turned on my like a viper this weekend and unloaded her version of everything I have done to persecute her in the last year. Who holds onto shit for a year without saying something. And what she was saying made no damn sense. It was the weirdest thing ever. Oh, and everything I ever told her was a lie because she checked. Sorry babe, when I am in a meeting with 25 other people that are all told the same thing it is no lie. I am starting to think she is super strange.

Big Daddy is home from China and I am feeling better. The animals are happy he is home too.

Unbelievable

Loved this in Philly

Well, Big Daddy is in China, Curly is still in ICU and the rest of it is shit.

My mom is not doing well and I cannot explain why.

Curly gets her MRI on Tuesday.

DIL is now known as Wonder Woman. I bought her a ring, Ruby set in rose gold, that is her favorite.

Speaking of Philly, what is this crap about Bill Cosby? Can it be true that this asshat is the pervert it seems? And his wife is hiding in the shadows about this crappola? And they have memorials in Philly to Bill, just like the one above to George. WTF.

These boots are NOT made for walking

Saw these boots at work, totally inappropriate for the plant but I was intrigued. Fur boots and they looked good. The gal said she bought them from Wish dot com and paid 15 bucks. I found the web site and bought them for 24 bucks. The sizing was dicey and I should have gone with my regular size, except the boots are kinda sweaty. So one size up with socks is a good thing for me. They were also supposed to take forever to arrive and just yesterday I received an email that they would be here the week of January 11 and they were on my porch in a vacuum pack the same day. Take it for what it is worth, would I order again? Yes. Would I spend a bunch of money? No.

The word is the Fiesta is toast and we need a new vehicle. We are thinking the Ford Escape. Gotta drive a Ford and I want a bit bigger and higher ride than the Fusion.

So tomorrow is look for a vehicle, go to lunch and get snacks and bites for New Year's Eve. We always stay home now and just nosh with a big lunch on New Years day. Big Daddy bought me a caftan from Dennis Basso and I will model that on my next post. Or the next next post.

I have a hard talking about this because it is not a comfortable subject. My hairdresser had a bad PAP smear and then went in for a D&C and then had to have a hysterectomy. And now she has Stage 3 cancer. She is the sweetest person and I don't know how she is dealing with this as she is the person in the family that takes care of everyone. But no one at the salon is taking care of her customers and her business. I have to make a decision on what to do with my high maintenance hair and I am not happy about my options. It is scary to have someone else cut or do highlights on my hair after 20 years of the same person taking care of it, even when I was in China I always came home for cuts and highlights. I know this is silly and superficial, but to me it is a trial. No one in the salon is offering helpful tips and I don't know where else to go. None of the best hairdressers in the salon are offering to take on her clients, even though she is the best and teachs at this joint. WTF.

The Barber of the village

Columbine randomly growing in my landscaping, I think this may be the Rocky Mountain variety

Big Daddy always has a bitch of a time trying to get a haircut. It was no different in China, it just cost a whole lot less to look like shit.

Back in the day he used to have Earl cut his hair. Earl was the only guy to give a razor shave. Big Daddy quit Earl because he was just too old. He was 97, he started cutting hair when he was 16.

Then BD moved on to Tony, but when he came back from China Tony was shaking so bad he scared BD. He was 86.

Big Daddy then moved on to John, he is a youngster at 71 but he does the worst haircut I have ever seen.

So this evening BD and I are back in the nook at the wrought iron table with the hair cutting kit from the drug store and I am cutting his hair. A little younger than the last guys, I would like to think a bit cuter, and certainly a bit pickier. A glass of wine, clippers with a number one, and some scissors, yep he looks good.

You can run but you can't hide

When I got home and started seeing a whole new world through the Internet I joined this shopping site, One Kings Lane. The have nice stuff and once in while great sales. I had gotten a couple things from them and was pleased. Internet shopping is great when you can't leave the house or don't feel like trekking the world over for something.

Anyway, we were short on goblets here at the homestead and I thought these would be wonderful for our San Pelligrino with dinner. It took a long time for them to arrive and when Big Daddy put them on the counter the first thing I saw on the box was made in China. Of course the first glass I pulled out of the very sturdy packing broke between the bowl and stem.

Big Daddy called One Kings Lane and told them of the unfortunate incident and due to circumstances of close out and clearance they told him to keep the remainder and took the charges off his credit card. The funny thing about this is that all things sold in a set in China come in threes, one child policy means 3 in a household. And 4 is a very unlucky number in China. So we have our Chinese glasses for our Italian water.

By the way, I am sure everyone knows I don't get paid for anything I say here-just sharing a great experience.

And I have the flu, a mild case but still the flu. I think I got it from the QM at my last interview. Need hand sanitizer in the car.

Those were the days my friends

Christmas decorations not on sale.

Well we painted some areas with the test paint and I think it is fine. I had them match the trim paint to the paper flower and then go 3 shades lighter for the ceiling and walls.  There is some prep work left to finish and then we can begin painting. Big Daddy had to get some new light bulbs so I could see the paint and ceiling with a critical eye. First he went to Ace Hardware and was told that he was a cretin and moron from hell for wanting a light bulb over 40 watts, and he was not green to boot. So he went to Ex Way Electric and learned that the manufacture of 100 watt are no longer allowed. WTF. Well they still had some so we can now see to paint and don't have to worry about mercury from broken light bulbs. When the day comes that I have to pay more for a light bulb than a pair of underpanties, well I am gonna be one cranky bitch. Hell, I remember when the bulbs were free, you took the burned out bulbs back to Detroit Edison (they had little stores) and they gave you new ones for free. Then you went next door and got a case of Faygo pop, any assortment you wanted. Those were the days.

Then we found out that China has perfected the Great Fire Wall and most VPNs are no longer operative. The is one that can currently be used, it is the same type as most corporate VPNs and they are terribly expensive. Also some personal VPNs (isn't that an odd phrase) can be used at times. I am so glad we are gone from there, the also banned the New York Times and I can't go without my crossword. It sounds like they are also going to ban Amazon and iTunes, almost as if suddenly they are afraid of the outside world. Big Daddy dropped his VPN and will deal with whatever when he has to go back.

Well, tomorrow is hairdo day and I think we are back on track and can go back to every 4 weeks as it seems like I am living at the hairdresser lately.

17 degrees F this morning and another inch of snow today. Will have to wear my fur tomorrow so I don't freeze. Wow, sounds like Big Daddy got the snow blower working, that thing has sat in the garage for over 3 years. Yowza. And man does it smell horrible.

Indian Summer

The paper said we are having Indian Summer. I don't know if I agree with that but everyone can thank me for the warm temps this week. I went ahead and ordered winter clothes in fat sizes thereby guaranteeing warm weather. Today is the last day for 80; tomorrow the temps will be back in the 60's. Unless I order that sweater I have been musing over.

I am in love with Google Chrome tabs. When I have a word or topic needing more information it is so easy with the tabs. Today I looked up Durst and badgers, which are archaic dared and weasels. About the weasels they eat them in various locations like northern China and Russia. Everyone else uses  their fur in shaving brushes. And paint brushes. And England likes to mass murder them.

My hypochondria is alive and well. On one of the Google Chromes tabs I ran across a bit of information that smelling burnt odors were there is none is a sign of brain tumors. So yea, everything smells burnt now.

Big Daddy and I are having the house decorating wars. As we are only starting room one, this is a bit early. Our switches may or may not be able to be replaced. I forgot they are all low voltage. WTF. BD did get the new registers put in and the plaster is almost done. Now I must pick out the paint.

Now I must Google light switches.

This is Sammy

Well, Sammy is here and he is confused.

Second home, third if you count the pound, in a few months and no one knows what happened before that.  See that tail, that is not a poodle tail. I think he needs a spa day in the near future.

Picked up his stuff this morning and about fell over, there was a bug on on the bed. It turns out it was a cricket. I know this because a guy came in and bought crickets, 64 cents worth of crickets. WTF, who buys crickets in the USof A? I mean China had fighting insects but never had I known Grosse Pointers to fight with crickets.

He stuck his nose up at the bed, his old toys, his new toys, and mama's big chair which he found on his own.

And after all the turmoil from the head of rescue group I have Sammy with no receipt and no contract and no
nothing from the group. Some people should not be in charge of anything. I was amazed though when the foster mom told me Sammy was a tax deduction as a rescue dog. Who knew?

His foster mom cried when she left. I felt bad for her and gave her a silk scarf from China, her Sammy scarf. Planned on giving her the scarf and did it well before the tears. And no I did not have to feed and water them and they were not intrusive.

Big Daddy is using the Chinese against the Indians

We have been early risers for the last decade or so, Big Daddy has been an early riser since growing up on the farm. 4:30 is normal for us, give or take an hour either way. 

Well, it turns out the Indians are just like the Chinese, work does not really start until 9:30 or 10:00, with nothing really prepared for the day. So BD told his new peeps he wants to start earlier, like pick me up at 8 and lets get started, then he lied to them and told them that is how the Chinese do it. These people would shit bricks if they new most people here start well before 9 and eat lunch at their desks most days. 

He had to get his hotel room changed, he got in really late the first night and they had him in a twin bed (this was an upgrade) and he fell out in the morning. Now he has a pretend king size bed. He had dinner at the Italian place down the street and he said it was horrid-risotto with curry. Most restaurants do not open before 7, so now he knows the rules and can look for something else.  That or stick with pizza. 

There are cows roaming the streets and he is gonna get some pictures for us. People just wander up and milk the cows in the street. Wow. Can't wait to see the pictures. 

Bring Your Passport with you

Big Daddy starts his new job Monday. He is happy and we are not moving. We need to make some plans for next week though as I will be without a car for the week. And with the stove fixed I can cook dinner or at least help, I have to learn to cook all over again.

I broke it to BD that I am considering retirement, he was surprised but did not have a lot to say.

Now I need to investigate lawnmowers as we do not own one and it seems foolish to pay someone to mow this tiny yard if I am not working.

Oh yea, BD's new company needs to do due diligence on his passport so he can travel to China and India. I just laughed and told him he might need shots for India.

We are getting down to the wire

Big Daddy babbled his information to me this morning on Skype. That is what I call BD talking before I am awake, babble. Sometimes he does it all day long. That is what other people call talking and what I call, too much information. Except when I don't listen well and have to keep saying "what did you just say"?

Well, he said he may be coming home next week. He also told me that he got a very odd call from Human Resources about his end date to his service contract. Someone fucked up. Sounds like they were (they being the Chinese owners)  planning on ending his contract without notice. So either the Chinese are taking over earlier than everyone thought or the US is not protecting their expats. And BD thinks his boss is in the dark and prolly gonna be cut too.

Fed Ex offer just left Memphis this morning so that is not gonna arrive on Friday and the other offer should arrive via email Monday-ish. The other offer is also being sent overnight to me. Big Daddy checked and can use his FF miles to get home next week. It is time to end this nightmare.

Found my gold ball earring. Made cheeseburgers last night, it was a disaster. I have to take out the garbage again.

Those of you who pray, please do so. Those of you who don't, please think good thoughts. Those of you who are ugly asshats, there is a job that now pays shit waiting for you in China. Oh yea, BD's company hired a new person this morning that someone is supposed to train. Hilarious.

It is just China

Interesting day, Big Daddy found out what the dude in the street is doing, making cheap blankets for poor people. But he can't sell them on the street, it is against the law. And they are too small for us. Because he can only make them the size of the board he owns. And people report you if they see you doing illegal stuff. Huh? It is ok to sell DVD's on the street every day and not ok to sell blankets on Saturday? And what about the card games on the sidewalks?

Wanted to go to the new mall near us so we meandered down that way. Bought a scarf as I was freezing. Bought some coffee from the bar. Had a snack at Casa 13 and David now has Sherry. Then Big Daddy got really excited on the way to the mall. The flower lady was home. So instead of shopping we bought flowers. So many flowers we could not carry them. For 240RMB. So the flower lady had this guy carry our flowers home for us. He took the long and convolted way and then he would not take a tip.

Well, we got home and took the elevator up to our apartment and the door would not open. Key works, turns green and beeps, no open. OK, we go downstairs and jabba jabba and have a smoke and a lady from housekeeping comes and motions us up. So we all traipse back up to the apartment and she can't get the door open either. She tells us to stay there, in pantomine. I tell her there are no chairs, in pantomine. Down we all go. Now there is more jabba jabba and more people. And another phone call. Then the doorman tells us to go back up, in pantomine of course. Now we have Shemp. Shemp can't get it open either and confirms the hip thrust used by everyone involved does not budge the door. So back down we go. Now I insist Big Daddy needs to go to the front desk in the main building. I stay with the doormen. After a while a guy speaking English comes and tells me to go back upstairs. I'm game.

This is where it becomes hilarious. The door is open and Shemp has the locks torn apart. My stuff is in the apartment (you did not think I was carrying this stuff up and down did you?) and there is water all over the floor. Not a flood but enough water to wonder. Big Daddy calls and I tell him I am in the apartment. He tells me they wanted to move us to a different apartment without our stuff. Huh? Shemp number 2 joins us and the lock fixing begins in earnest. This takes about 30 minutes and lots of noise and jabba jabba and what appears to be Chinese WD40. Then the Shemps call me over, show me the lock works and pantomines that I do not know how to work the lock properly. WTF. Then the assistant manager calls and tells Big Daddy that we need a new lock but they can't do that on Sunday. What, are they all gonna be in church? Do I sense some western influence in a day of rest?

Anyway, the flowers are beautiful and we are ready for new day of adventure.

Great Expectations

I think this is my problem. Reality will never meet expectations in China.

I used to love to get pedicures. I no longer get them. It is too much of a disappointment and a hassle. Not relaxing and pleasant when no one can communicate and the results leave something to be desired.

Went to the hairdresser yesterday and I almost came home in tears. First, I thought I was back in the US at an airport, there were so many people standing around doing nothing I thought it was a TSA training center. Loud, as everyone was talking, in a Chinese sort of loud. If they talk to you-they talk so softly you have no idea what language the are using. If the talk to each other there is a contest on who has the best hog--calling skills. Second, every Chinese person who touched me or my hair seemed convinced that I was there for some sort of punishment. Hair pulling, head jabbing, shooting the water in my eye and then pushing a towel in my eyeball, twisting my neck-and this is the premier place for western hair. And I left with damp hair. All for the whopping price of 1300 RMB. WTF. And a hefty tip to the French hairdresser. And I never did get that glass of water (although that might have been fate working on my side).

Big Daddy asked me what I wanted for breakfast this morning and I almost fell on the floor laughing. You cannot get normal sausage or bacon here, the potato selection is nil, the fruit is not to my liking (nor is the guy with long yellow fingernails picking through it while he is sitting on the sidewalk), no oven and the toaster sucks. How many scrambled eggs with mystery cheese can a person eat?

There has got to be some secret society here where all the western people have taken an oath never to reveal the secrets. Or, they are all in denial that this is just not right.

So Big Daddy is off to Tescos, I am depressed I could not get a toe-hold in the Sunday NYT crossword, and it is raining. Chinese lady at the hair salon told me Shanghai only has one nice day of weather a year, either a translation problem or the first honest person I met in China.

Figured out Hot

Hot in Shanghai is above 35C, hot in India is above 40c. This was in the China Daily which is hilarious to read. They have a heat index at the Expo on www.soweather.com. We will see. Got my parasol but have not used it yet as there has been no sun when I am out. Only rain. Umbrellas and parasols are not interchangeable. Big Daddy learned this when he was out in the sudden downpour. It rained so fast he was doomed. His clothes did not dry out for 24 hours in our air-conditioned high rise. I sent them out.

Alone this coming week as Big Daddy goes to Japan and I stay here all by myself in the hell hole. This could get ugly.

Newest Chinese complaint in the paper is bitching about fake Expo souveniers. (probably not spelled right and I can't find a dictionary here) Anyway, the Chinese do not think phoney shit should be passed off as original equipment, especially when it comes to the Chinese bottom line. How these silly vendors with all this phoney shit get into the Expo is beyond me. Maybe your cousins you let in to hawk this garbage-the Chinese say it is poor quality. I almost hurt myself falling on the floor laughing. Who knew, faux shit in China.

There is a typhoon predicted in the near future so I need to go find out what that entails. If you need me I will be on the balcony drying out clothes. Man, it just occured to me, maybe that is why they wear pajamas all the time. They dry faster.

Shopping Success

Ok, got myself together and went out today as the weather was wonderful. Hair turned out a 5 out of 10. Clothes were ok until the hot flashes came. Still need underwear.

Went to Borders for reading material and found the most unexepected book, Martha and Me or some such nonsense, the book by Martha Stewart's self proclaimed best friend. It is snarky. OK I am in. This is fabulous.

Went to Trader Joes and got my stuff along with kitty litter and some stupid thing kittys like to claw. Fucked up. THe kitty litter must go back. I have to go to CVS. Can't wait.

Big Daddy is happily ensconced in the new Crowne Plaza (new to him) somewhere around Shenzhen and everything is working out peachy there. They have 1 hour foor massage for about 16 bucks US.

My mailbox fell apart. I won't be getting any damn foot massage.

Tomorrow is more dental work and the handyman is coming to refix the squirral hole and look at the mailbox. And bring round-up to re-kill the weeds we have already killed 3 times.

Can't wait to get back to China.