I have to get Big Daddy Outta here

He is sending me pictures of airlines food. Airlines food is a cardboard box of bread, pickle relish in a foil container and if you are lucky some cherry tomatoes or some jello. Wow, this one had jello. I have never seen anyone eat the jello, including the Chinese people.

The Chinese asshole in the Passport lounge came and sat next to him and removed his shoes and socks and put his feet next to his computer and laughed. That is one person that should be very happy that mama was not on this trip, but ya know I don't think that ass-hat would have done that to me. I have this look that most people understand to mean, I will beat your ass and then I will hurt you. Of course, I have been preaching to BD that he has to be nice, be nice, do not get into with these ignorant m . . .

This is after he had to get the train  tramp, aka Ms. Dolly to make someone get out of his sleeper car seat earlier this week. I cannot describe the nasty things he told me about that trip.

He got the really shitty taxi driver in Shenzhen again, the one that charged 100 RMB for a 12 Rmb ride and refused to give a receipt. He sent me the pictures of the taxi driver, the license plate, the license of the taxi driver and the taxi. He did not send me the picture of the hotel staff trying to get rid of the taxi driver when BD would not pay the inflated bill. He turned one taxi driver in a year ago and he is still on the PRC GPS list. He turned off his iPhone GPS. Shitty taxi driver ran screaming into the night when he saw his picture on the iPhone.

BD was pissed when Daisy Mae, I kid you not, shoved him off onto Susie Q for his meetings, I swear I cannot make this shit up. But he did get the heated Bidet at the fancy Chinese hotel, he just does not have Bidet items to need a heated wash.

It did not help that before he left town we had to have Shemp day. If you do not remember when the bottom guts of our kitchen sink fell out at the other apartment, well it was happening here again. I do not understand why these people adore fixing shit rather than . . . Oh yes, it is because you have to employ a lot of people. So Shemp came to fix the sink pipes and replace all the light bulbs. The ceiling light in the Master bedroom was so dim that we had to light candles to find the bed. BD could not figure out how to get it down to clean it and replace the light bulbs.

Learned a new Chinese word : (as a white person would pronounce it) OH NOCKA CHEEKA, this is said and repeated while making a pyramid with your hands.

I don't have a clue but Shemp brought a real aluminum ladder and pulled the light fixture sideways off the ceiling and replaced the light bulbs. Cleaning is not optional on this one.

Oh yea, it is time for a break from crazy land.

A touch of Homesickness

As the bus left the terminal today at Hongqiao Airport I felt a lump in my throat. There they were, a sight unseen for many months, rat traps at the perimeters of the terminal. Spaced just far enough apart so there is no waiting at any one rat trap. My goodness I have not seen publicly displayed rat traps since the Plant Loco days. I can remember them like I saw them yesterday with the little tufts of seat foam and covers sticking out the openings just so, with a few chicken bones in front kinda like rat lawn decorations.

Now, don't get me wrong, we got rats in the US too, we just kinda hide the traps from the public. Nothing like announcing, You Bet Your Ass We Got Rats. Big Uns, too. Never forget the one in the yard at Plant Loco named Grandaddy, he was an old tough one. He scared many a greenhorn supplier sent to the yard at dusk.

China Southern seems to be keeping with no bread and drink trolleys while on the ground since the reports of the 2 planes with cargo fires. And the Air Traffic Announcement was only a 30 minute delay this morning. Actually got into Shenzhen on time. Unbelievable. Wonder if the airlines on the ATC's ass since they can't keep the pax quiet with a box of bread.

Another thing, China Southern seems to have no PM on these planes as seats and armrests are always broken. And this is not a safety issue with them. Amazing. The seat in front of Big Daddy would not go back into upright position and it was like oh well, have some more bread. The FA knew this at take-off and only worried about it when Big Daddy could not get his tray down to eat his bread. And they are the better airline here in China, they are better than those dogs at China Eastern. And you get more bread.

I am getting better at posting pictures on FB since I cannot get it right on this blog, so my goal is to get a complete album of walking to Hong Kong as that is the plan for morning. It is not so hot but still rainy so that might be a fun walk. And my curling iron is broken so hair should look divine.

Laughing my ass off

Don't know what the purple stuff is, gorgeous and more expensive than the calla lillies.

Calla lillies were about 75 cents a piece.

Bird of Paradise about 3 bucks each.

Apartment is full of flowers.

Recent experiences:

Saved by a Tibetan Yak herder falling up the stairs at Eme's. His hair was more styled and stylish than mine, he was glowing in products, he was singing Karaoke to a Canadian's Techno type music, and he waited outside the washroom to take me back down. Big Daddy missed all of this. The stairs are wooden slats, very narrow, with candles on the side. They go straight up. I have climbed straight up steel ladders in assembly plants that felt safer. But Eme did have a sit down toilet and a sink with running water. HooHaa. Not a place to where a long flowing skirt.

There is no OSHA here, to get to this divine establishment I had to walk under bamboo scaffolding. Always makes me pause. Except when they are welding on the sidewalk area. Then I skedaddle.

Bought a great piece of artwork, framed and signed poster as a very sassy lady, will post as possible when I have time to put down the artist and the information. All the Chinese ladies hated it( everyone gives you an opinion on everything, everywhere, every time) all the Chinese guys loved it. Italian artist with a Chinese theme who is now living in Paris.

Tried to buy some wine and sherry at the corner store in the French Concession. They do not understand nor do they speak English. How are these fucks going to serve the great unwashed non-Chinese speaking people for Expo 2010. I need to start a business with English language translations for the stupid fucks and I will help you get the options for the tourists. Of course all this is illegal, so I will need a China partner. Maybe the Yak herder.

Also, they do not recycle in China. They act like they do. They have 2 different containers. No one can tell you what goes into the containers. Then they dump both of the containers together and go somewhere else and sort it again. Then they combine all the containers into one big pile and dump them out of town. This is my new goal. To make them pretend to do more recycling. It should only take 5 people as that is the current meeting group for all things important. Such as WTF is wrong with this white bitch? Takes 5 people for any important decision such as who is going to ask her why she wants Evian. Does not she know this is called even water? And they don't recycle the plastic bottles. Grrr. They bring you a picture and then correct your pronunciation. Trust me, Tonic water is Tonee you asshole.

Tomorrow the joys of flying China Southern, or exercising on a 777 in coach. Jack Lalane had nothing on these people.

Hair is not good. Humid, drizzle, and very hazy weather.

Back to Shenzhen at the beautiful Parkview Hotel

Flight was ok this morning, Boeing 777 to Shenzhen. That was kinda weird. Big plane for an hour and 45 minutes and it was full. Nice flight tho without too much turbulence. I will say these Chinese get off the plane fast. Like that.

Checked into the Parkview and had lunch. Weird lunch. Chef salad but really more of arranged pieces around a few lettuce pieces on a plate. Need to go for a walk soon.

Tired and gloomy outside right now. Windy and a bit chilly. No sun and once again no blue sky. I wonder if the sky is ever blue in China.

Hair fluffy bordering on puffy.

Going to start a new Anne Rice book tonight, her return to religion. Read Lisa Scottoline "Look Twice" yesterday and I was disappointed. Oh well, can't hit a home run every time. I have 4 books left and no magazines.

Toilets r me

Toto toilets rule. And anyone who tells you different plunges once in a while or is dating A PLUMBER. My temporary job now seems to be fixing every toilet in China. No pay. Yepper new hotel-new toilet that won't flush.

China Southern screwed up my FF miles on the way down here and then claimed they can't fix it. Well, they can't fix toilets either. They served breakfast. 3 different breads, fried peanuts, and fruit. Cling wrapped fruit. Do they think the weirdo fruit cuts the bread factor.

Rich wood Garden Hotel-their spelling-is expensive and not worth a penny of the cost. Mediocre room size, shabby decor, poor food quality, and stupid outdated uniforms for the staff. Picture Doris Day and Rock Hudson in a bad Chinese movie with Tony Randall pretending he is channeling Jerry Lewis.

Funny of the day: Shanghai is trying to present a more "wordly and gracious" face to the world for EXPO 2010, so they are asking people not to wear their Hello Kitty Pajama's in public. Shanghainese are reported to be snobbish and unwelcoming of people that are different. WTF. Who wears Hello Kitty Pajamas around town. These people either don't comb their hair or have do's that beg the imagination of what kind of drugs does it take to make you think longish thin auburn locks really look good on a skinny dude with no posture and a bad suit. Auburn is not a good Chinese look. Gotta get a camera and start capturing this stuff.

80 degrees F and so smoggy you can barely see in Shenzhen. Hair not frizzed.