For some reason this trip felt more grueling than usual. We had to sit at the gate for an hour due to ATC, which was no fun. There was a new twist, when we boarded there was a pilot wandering around the plane chatting and helping. He was quite jolly and had a great sense of humor, which just made the flight attendants look more grumpy. Then before the safety spiel he made a speech in each cabin about how Delta appreciated all of us. And of course everyone clapped. Then the captain came on the PA and thanked us all for how quickly we boarded and let them get the door closed ahead of time. We were number 7 in line for takeoff and there we sat.
Big Daddy and I sat apart, we had aisle seats almost across from other. Chaz had the window seat in my row, I know this because he introduced himself upon sitting and never shut up until he left. He left because this Chinese girl came up and showed her ticket and he sent her across the plane and announced that everyone knew seat A was on the other side. That is when I got a chance to speak and told him that no he was indeed sitting in A, by then she was back and the flight attendant was smirking. I know this because I was standing in the aisle so everyone could relocate to their proper seats. Then the 2 Chinese girls asked me to get up again as they wanted to change seats with each other, which meant moving all their stuff around. Why do people bring so much stuff onto airplanes.
I am still batting 1000, my reading light did not work, the screen prompt turned on seat A, and the FA's did not care. It was hilarious though, the 2 Chinese girls kept trying to shut the light off as it was shining in their faces but I had the controls. I never told them, I just left it on.
My dental appointment was normal. The Dentist wanted an X-ray as I am very tender where the space re-gainer is. They updated all their systems last week and none of the X-ray machines could communicate with the system. So, no X-ray. Anyway, we got through the impressions and I should have a new tooth in 2 weeks. I am not going to miss this hunk of metal in my mouth.
The new neighbor across the street has a sign in the front yard. It is only printed on one side and that side is facing the house. WTF. It would be too obvious to go and look at it, but really what can it say?
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
You gotta be kidding me
I am getting antsy about going home. This is normal for me, don't like to fly, don't like to sit next to wackos, don't like most flight attendants. The flight attendants wear too much perfume and re-apply it on a regular basis.
I am checking the airlines, checking for typhoons and hurricanes and then boom, new information. I have to check for a satellite falling out of the sky. WTF. The reporters are saying that NASA is not quite sure about a lot of this falling out of the sky information. But we should not be really concerned as no one has been injured or died from other shit falling from the sky. Huh?
The FAA is saying it might be a little problem for planes. I can just see the pilots taking turns looking out the front windows but there is no backlight on these planes. That is where the tail is.
Yea, yea, they are saying Friday afternoon EDT, which is when we will be sleeping in Shanghai. I do not want to have to have to deal with Shemp cleaning this mess up so I can catch a plane. Mercy Sakes.
I am checking the airlines, checking for typhoons and hurricanes and then boom, new information. I have to check for a satellite falling out of the sky. WTF. The reporters are saying that NASA is not quite sure about a lot of this falling out of the sky information. But we should not be really concerned as no one has been injured or died from other shit falling from the sky. Huh?
The FAA is saying it might be a little problem for planes. I can just see the pilots taking turns looking out the front windows but there is no backlight on these planes. That is where the tail is.
Yea, yea, they are saying Friday afternoon EDT, which is when we will be sleeping in Shanghai. I do not want to have to have to deal with Shemp cleaning this mess up so I can catch a plane. Mercy Sakes.
Mr. Shiny heads dinner
Oops almost forgot this one. For years Big Daddy has talked about pasta carbonara as something we should eat. Something about raw eggs and pasta just made me vomit when I thought about it. BD is a pasta whore and would eat it with nothing but pasta, well maybe some oil and basil. The other day Blackened Out had a recipe for this dish and it read pretty good. Nice picture, easy and rather fast to make and made sense on the eggs. My first tentative step was to inquire about the availability of safe eggs in China. Bingo they have them. Now I will be the first to admit they may be phony like some of the hairy crabs, and the stickers that say they are okay could be just as phony as the hairy crab "genuine stickers" that the newspaper warned us about, but what the hell. This turned out great. I mean really good. I can see this in rotation for quick meals. And with whole wheat pasta not a bad fiber source.
That is another thing that makes me laugh, talking about fiber and our diets. We never talk about the truth of the matter, you need something to push the shit out. Just how we need more fiber.
My next new love of the week is Dancing With The Stars. It is so hilarious I cannot stop talking about it. List of things that are just too funny:
Nancy Grace's hair, for goodness sakes, if ABC can't make it better, no one can. It is pitiful. Rogaine.
The Kardashiens, or however you spell their name, it is just wrong. Period.
George Clooney's ex, babe you need 10 pounds and Berlitz, at the least. Don't think Rosetta Stone is gonna fix that enunciation.
The army guy made me cry, Chaz has small feet, and Ricki Lake needs better underwear if she is going to show her hiney.
Good thing I am going home on Sunday and will have new things to occupy my mind.
That is another thing that makes me laugh, talking about fiber and our diets. We never talk about the truth of the matter, you need something to push the shit out. Just how we need more fiber.
My next new love of the week is Dancing With The Stars. It is so hilarious I cannot stop talking about it. List of things that are just too funny:
Nancy Grace's hair, for goodness sakes, if ABC can't make it better, no one can. It is pitiful. Rogaine.
The Kardashiens, or however you spell their name, it is just wrong. Period.
George Clooney's ex, babe you need 10 pounds and Berlitz, at the least. Don't think Rosetta Stone is gonna fix that enunciation.
The army guy made me cry, Chaz has small feet, and Ricki Lake needs better underwear if she is going to show her hiney.
Good thing I am going home on Sunday and will have new things to occupy my mind.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Air Raid sirens
We found out what this was all about. It was to remember when Japan invaded China and took over.
As much attention as the Chinese paid to the sirens it is no surprise Japan was so successful.
As much attention as the Chinese paid to the sirens it is no surprise Japan was so successful.
Big Daddy has a big head
Big daddy has almost no hair on his head. This little ring of hair that is really quite light in color circles his head. He keeps it quite short so as not to call attention to his head, kinda opposite say Donald Trump or Donald King.
When BD's hair grows it looks bad, really bad. So he needs constant maintenance on his hair. It is worse than my blond hair. But BD will not pay fancy salon prices for his hair care. So he mostly gets crappy hair cuts here in China. Even when they shave him bald by mistake it is still crappy. They always miss a few hairs.
Last night it really cooled down here and we went for a walk before dinner. Lo and behold we went down Shaanxi and there were hair places open and working on hair-do type things. It was pitch black at 6 PM so no problem seeing into the shops. I dragged BD into a Chinese hair salon and got them to work before he knew what hit him. As you know we do not speak Chinese and as usual they do not speak English. It worked out quite well.
BD had a sit-in-the-chair shampoo that lasted almost 30 minutes. I do not think his showers take that long. I got bored and had a chair massage. There was lots of chatter and who knows what was said. There was a Shanghai whore boy trying for blond hair but he never got better than orange and light melon. BD also got the chair massage and then his precision cut.
Cost: about 52 U.S. dollars for 2 sit up massages, a shampoo that will keep that head shiny for weeks and a precision haircut, plus . . .Kerastase shampoo for men.
It was one of the best walks ever.
Tomorrow the dinner Mr. Shiny made when we got home.
When BD's hair grows it looks bad, really bad. So he needs constant maintenance on his hair. It is worse than my blond hair. But BD will not pay fancy salon prices for his hair care. So he mostly gets crappy hair cuts here in China. Even when they shave him bald by mistake it is still crappy. They always miss a few hairs.
Last night it really cooled down here and we went for a walk before dinner. Lo and behold we went down Shaanxi and there were hair places open and working on hair-do type things. It was pitch black at 6 PM so no problem seeing into the shops. I dragged BD into a Chinese hair salon and got them to work before he knew what hit him. As you know we do not speak Chinese and as usual they do not speak English. It worked out quite well.
BD had a sit-in-the-chair shampoo that lasted almost 30 minutes. I do not think his showers take that long. I got bored and had a chair massage. There was lots of chatter and who knows what was said. There was a Shanghai whore boy trying for blond hair but he never got better than orange and light melon. BD also got the chair massage and then his precision cut.
Cost: about 52 U.S. dollars for 2 sit up massages, a shampoo that will keep that head shiny for weeks and a precision haircut, plus . . .Kerastase shampoo for men.
It was one of the best walks ever.
Tomorrow the dinner Mr. Shiny made when we got home.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
More good news and bad news
The good news:
So far Delta has not cancelled our flight home.
The rest is bad news.
One of the wicker type chairs on the balcony died last night. It has been wobbly. We put the broken chair in the stairway and moved the smaller chairs from the back balcony to the living room balcony. The one good chair I stuck next to the entry door just to get it out of way and then I noticed that this is a horrible spot for a chair. I have wanted a Chinese type chair in that spot forever. Not gonna work. Another dream dashed. So no chair by the door and only one chair on the back balcony.
We could buy another chair but . . . well when we found out they were not going to renew Big Daddy's contract (cause the Chinese have figured out all they need to know about engineering) BD has been looking for a new job. He has some decent prospects. This means you don't buy more shit that you can't ship home.
When he was falling off the chair last night he mentioned he might have an interview when we get home, in the state of Nebraska. I almost fell off my sturdy chair. All I know about Nebraska is that it is somewhere west of Iowa. I do not think they have airports in Nebraska. He said it is a really small town. There is a just a bit bigger town 20 minutes away. There is nothing to do there so he would probably travel all the time. Probably by bus. Or dog-sled, I am not sure. So instead of buying a chair I am saving for an all terrain vehicle.
On a different subject, the only time I am afraid in China is when I think of disasters. Yes, the hotel did tell me to take my laundry off the balcony when the typhoon was close, but that is not enough for me. So for the last 2 days there have been what sounds like air-raid sirens going off. When you look around no one seems to pay any attention. But again, these are not the most educated and aware people. This is creepy. And the U.S. Consulate contacts you by email and we all know how the Internet works here.
So far Delta has not cancelled our flight home.
The rest is bad news.
One of the wicker type chairs on the balcony died last night. It has been wobbly. We put the broken chair in the stairway and moved the smaller chairs from the back balcony to the living room balcony. The one good chair I stuck next to the entry door just to get it out of way and then I noticed that this is a horrible spot for a chair. I have wanted a Chinese type chair in that spot forever. Not gonna work. Another dream dashed. So no chair by the door and only one chair on the back balcony.
We could buy another chair but . . . well when we found out they were not going to renew Big Daddy's contract (cause the Chinese have figured out all they need to know about engineering) BD has been looking for a new job. He has some decent prospects. This means you don't buy more shit that you can't ship home.
When he was falling off the chair last night he mentioned he might have an interview when we get home, in the state of Nebraska. I almost fell off my sturdy chair. All I know about Nebraska is that it is somewhere west of Iowa. I do not think they have airports in Nebraska. He said it is a really small town. There is a just a bit bigger town 20 minutes away. There is nothing to do there so he would probably travel all the time. Probably by bus. Or dog-sled, I am not sure. So instead of buying a chair I am saving for an all terrain vehicle.
On a different subject, the only time I am afraid in China is when I think of disasters. Yes, the hotel did tell me to take my laundry off the balcony when the typhoon was close, but that is not enough for me. So for the last 2 days there have been what sounds like air-raid sirens going off. When you look around no one seems to pay any attention. But again, these are not the most educated and aware people. This is creepy. And the U.S. Consulate contacts you by email and we all know how the Internet works here.
Friday, September 16, 2011
I have to get Big Daddy Outta here
He is sending me pictures of airlines food. Airlines food is a cardboard box of bread, pickle relish in a foil container and if you are lucky some cherry tomatoes or some jello. Wow, this one had jello. I have never seen anyone eat the jello, including the Chinese people.
The Chinese asshole in the Passport lounge came and sat next to him and removed his shoes and socks and put his feet next to his computer and laughed. That is one person that should be very happy that mama was not on this trip, but ya know I don't think that ass-hat would have done that to me. I have this look that most people understand to mean, I will beat your ass and then I will hurt you. Of course, I have been preaching to BD that he has to be nice, be nice, do not get into with these ignorant m . . .
This is after he had to get the train tramp, aka Ms. Dolly to make someone get out of his sleeper car seat earlier this week. I cannot describe the nasty things he told me about that trip.
He got the really shitty taxi driver in Shenzhen again, the one that charged 100 RMB for a 12 Rmb ride and refused to give a receipt. He sent me the pictures of the taxi driver, the license plate, the license of the taxi driver and the taxi. He did not send me the picture of the hotel staff trying to get rid of the taxi driver when BD would not pay the inflated bill. He turned one taxi driver in a year ago and he is still on the PRC GPS list. He turned off his iPhone GPS. Shitty taxi driver ran screaming into the night when he saw his picture on the iPhone.
BD was pissed when Daisy Mae, I kid you not, shoved him off onto Susie Q for his meetings, I swear I cannot make this shit up. But he did get the heated Bidet at the fancy Chinese hotel, he just does not have Bidet items to need a heated wash.
It did not help that before he left town we had to have Shemp day. If you do not remember when the bottom guts of our kitchen sink fell out at the other apartment, well it was happening here again. I do not understand why these people adore fixing shit rather than . . . Oh yes, it is because you have to employ a lot of people. So Shemp came to fix the sink pipes and replace all the light bulbs. The ceiling light in the Master bedroom was so dim that we had to light candles to find the bed. BD could not figure out how to get it down to clean it and replace the light bulbs.
Learned a new Chinese word : (as a white person would pronounce it) OH NOCKA CHEEKA, this is said and repeated while making a pyramid with your hands.
I don't have a clue but Shemp brought a real aluminum ladder and pulled the light fixture sideways off the ceiling and replaced the light bulbs. Cleaning is not optional on this one.
Oh yea, it is time for a break from crazy land.
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