Tuesday, March 31, 2009

29 days and counting

This is the mantra at the three headed dog. 1 day down and counting. Will there be a company in 29 days? Will there be any jobs? Will Bob Nardelli be back to hawking drywall?

Bob was never as well liked as Rick, and look at Rick. Everyone hates Tommy, kinda like he forgot his roots and everyone knows he is a poser. What is next.

According to the reports, we are supposed to suffer. Can someone please explain this suffering. Oh, excuse me, sacrifice. Again, please explain. Sacrifice what and to whom?

Funny of the day, Big Manager Dude wants to know if I am having weekly or bi-weekly continuous-improvement meetings. Nope. Nada. Not even weekly what have you done for me today meetings. No Meetings. However there are also no meetings on the sheet metal out of spec. Guess they don't care if the fucking windows won't go up. WTF.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Goodby GM, Hello Chaos

So Obama told Rick to take his balls and bats and go home. Okay. Then Obama told everyone the US Government would guarantee warranty. WHAT? Does the government understand how warranty works? Where do they think the parts come from? This is called Service Parts Operations, run by GM, supplied by suppliers, sent to GM dealers, paid for by GM. At what moment does Obama and Timmy think this warranty issue is not going to be a big problem. Chapter 11 means no more parts for any reason until they are paid for. And Service Parts are shelved waiting for a dealer to call, and by the way, under Chapter 11, there are no more dealers.

Crazy Ass shit.

Met my new Quality Manager today (from a town far away), he came to Plant Okey Dokey to assess the damage from his shit shipments, and guess what? He looks like a serial killer. I am not making this up. Someone told me once, why would anyone go there other than to hide. Shiver, Shiver. And a QM from another far away plant just recently was put in prison for a long time for killing his wife.

We seem to attract the best and brightest.

Everyone is depressed over Obama saying he knows how to run the auto industry and Timmy saying that over time we won't care how much money we make. WTF

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Grumpy Grumpy Grumpy

Everyone is grumpy. Big Daddy is grumpy bacause he is under visual management. This is a tool I learned at Plant Loco. Constantly watch and then later criticize Big Daddy for not doing what I wanted him to do. Of course the difference is, Big Daddy does shit I don't want him to do on the sly and then acts innocent. Not happening buddy. Get with the program. Spring Clean Guest Room is next. Period.

GrrDog is grumpy and I think it is because he has no hair. GrrDog had a spa day and came home with really fluffy ears and not much else. And he has gas. Really bad gas.

I am grumpy trying to get my new vapors up and running. The pen style seems to be better for me, lasts longer and the chocolate flavor seems to help change from the real cigs to the vapors. Its just the charging that seems to be a problem. I do think that after I get this in line having completely separate items will be a boon to Big Daddy and I both converting to this method. Big Daddy is doing great. Hasn't smoked a real cig in a while.

I did pretty good yesterday after I got the program going but this morning something happened and I am not sure what I did wrong. The primary only worked for and hour and started blinking. Blinking means no charge. Changed to the charged one and it blinked, WTF. Went to the new one and had semi success for a few hours. Changed to the re-charged first one and am back on track. Learning curve. But for every cig I don't smoke one step forward.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Top Quality Ratings for US Vehicles

I can tell you right now this is not due to any specific function in any company. My new plant, Plant Okey Dokey, produces the highest rated car in the newest J.D. Powers report. And this in spite of the management. The union workers are right on top of this action, which is not seen at all plants. The management workers are fighting to "BE IMPORTANT". Hilarious, I originally misspelled this as "IMPOTENT".

Same shit, different day.

Hard week as everyone is scurrying to make their lives "IMPOTENT".

Got to give credit to Plant Okey Dokey, they are getting the job done, and they are nice people.

Got my new vapor items today, need to charge up tonight while I am sleeping and fix it up tomorrow. Hair tomorrow, new hair lady as my hair lady is learning new shit at hair school in California. Tomorrow may have stress.

Gregory the worm is still trying to kill me at Plant Loco, but he is still being nice about it. The problem is the fucker does not speak English. Ever try to listen to someone on a cell phone that does not speak English and has no desire to improve this portion of his acclimating skills. It is painful.

That is the word of today, PAIN FULL.

Funny of the day, at Plant Okey Dokey, during break, everyone thought they were on American Idol or a street corner on New Orleans. I was too busy to vote.

I do not agree with all the spell check changes, but what the hell.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Lost Vapor

I lost my little puffy ecigarette today. This is a horror story. I was down from a pack and a half a day to about 4 real cigarettes. Now I have to replace, re-deploy, and reorganize. The horror of it all.

Better horror is the Internet ravings I see on just how horrible this ecig phenomena is and how it is corrupting society as we know it. Just imagine, people pretending to smoke a tube that does not harm anyone but themselves, and probably not even really harming ourselves. The horror of it all. The rantings go from tantalizing the non smokers to join us-to killing ourselves in this new manner of not smoking.

Do we feel no shame? We are addicts without censure and shame. We should have to suffer and wear hair shirts for smoking a cigarette. WHICH IS LEGAL BY THE WAY. We should all rot in hell for not throwing the highest taxed product into the gutter and walking away to join all the self righteous bastards that denounce this obscene habit as a product of the devil himself.

And now the powers that are smarter than all the rest of us are fighting to make sure that the little puffy ecigarettes are banned until they can be sold by A LARGE DRUG company and taxed as a tobacco product, even though they are none of the above.

Well now I am pissed. I have not partaken of the following products in years: soda pop, potato chips, processed foods, butter substitutes, sugar substitutes, white sugar, white flour, white rice and pasta that is not whole wheat. I do not drink fruit juice as it is nothing more that a sugar with no fiber content. I only consume chocolate with a high cacao content of 70% or better-and then only one square at a time, not a bar of candy.

My cholesterol is excellent, my blood pressure is excellent and I am not overweight. I am also not anorexic, bulimic, or taking borrowed ADD meds to get smarter.

Keep it up and I will go after your cheap food, drink, and candy which is making you fat. And then there will be war.

Monday, March 23, 2009

The reason Plant Loco is Loco

As I stand and read the CSA board I see a write up for "the very serious and infamous gap". The GAP occurs when the operator does not do their job or -TA DA -someone fucks with the part after it leaves station. Well, we have had this specific fuck-up for months and months. And it is always proven that this is definitely a "someone fucks with the part issue". So today I sneak outside with the supervisor type guy to review the offending gap, we pull off the plastic sill plate and what do we see but the blue mark that means the part was fine when it left the install point and the Validation Station. So what do the fucks do? They write an NCT against my company for a gap. Now keep in mind, process dictates that the gap cannot exist under any circumstances. If you do the process correctly and the part is too short you will still not have a gap at the butte joint. WTF.

And people question why the auto companies pay so well? Because the managers are chicken shit to take care of their own problems. Fie on you.

Vaping going better, 4 analog cigs today over a 12 hour period. Hear all kinds of screaming going on about this as no fed/state taxes realized except for regular sales tax. Betcha Obama is vaping.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I must be crazy, cuz I just don't get it

Why is the President of the United States on Leno? Why is he making stupid/offensive jokes? Why is his wife going to make him pull weeds? Should POTUS have to do chores? I would rather not think about why weeding is more important than leading, but then again, if he has time to be on Leno-he probably has extra time to weed. Or explain to Michelle about mulch.

People in New York are chasing down Wall Street finance guys to beat them up over their bonuses. Why don't they just demand that these people spend their bonus money in NYC instead-spreading the wealth so to speak-and then everyone has some extra money. No, Nancy Pelosi (aka Demi Moore wannabe)is going to tax the money back to Washington so they can give it to someone else. Musical money. Maybe everyone should weed for a while.

Now to me, which is much more important. Got my toes done yesterday-pink. Not happy with the pink, but every March I force myself to do something new on toe polish. Big Daddy asked me if I had Easter toes. Oh my.

Tried my new Shiseido facial mask with pure retinal, loved it. Works great. Sephora.com if you want to order.

Doing okay, not great on the vaping. Since Friday cut down to a few analog cigs a day. The ecigs cannot get regulated with me. I know it is going to take time and perseverance-I just wanted a perfect solution. As everyone does. Told Big Daddy I will not take any analog cigs to work so get the troops ready with the ecigs and I am hopeful being busy and time will help this dependence transfer. It is after all an addiction, not a frivolous habit.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I Am Vaporous

Yes, I am vaping. Vaping is using nicotine in a new way. Ecigarettes, an electronic micro-processor device that allows you to "smoke" anywhere. Just like chewing the gum or wearing the patch but you "smoke" it. You use it just as if you were smoking and a harmless vapor is released from your mouth, OK maybe lungs, that is smokeless, odorless, and contains no tars or second hand smoke. It is not smelly.

I am so excited and everyone at Plant Loco is anxiously awaiting the vaping results. I had to give demos all day and people were laughing their asses off. Off course with smokes now costing 8 bucks a pack and new taxes as of April 1 on roll your own papers and loose tobacco people are finally fed up. Everyone always said that when smokes reached a certain price point they would quit. Very few did. Smoking is an addiction as fierce as any drug habit. Well, 8 bucks, getting treated like a dog, and numerous aids to modify our behavior---we are now on board. Let them get their tax money from milk.

So . . . now that I will no longer be offensive I can start scouting about for what others do that offends me. Wear cheap and offensive cologne? I'm on it. Plug your fruity shit into the electric socket? I'm on it. Piss me off? I'm on it. And all y'all better take a bath. NOW. And wash your hair, and your clothes, and your 3 year old jacket that has never seen a dry cleaner. Because in 2 to 3 weeks my sense of smell will return (I have quit before) and that is what y'all don't realize, this world stinks. Real bad.

Monday, March 16, 2009


Do not ever compliment me at work, about my work, about my company. Never.

Because exactly minutes -times the generosity- of the compliment I will be up shits creek without a paddle. Guaranteed, every time. Thanks, buddy.

Today the three headed dog manager called me over for conversation and complimented my company on the outstanding turn-a-round of the last few months. FIE on you devil dog. Do you not know what this means? The gates of hell will crash.

In my job, atta-boys are good for 5 minutes and the rest of the time you are fixing, explaining, hiding, or just pulling your hair out to make the customer happy. And trust me they are never happy. Happy people mean people who are under-worked. Happy people can be let go because they are not needed. They are not working if they are happy.

This is why gregory the worm is so valuable. He called me in today to express his need for data on a problem I never saw. Okey-Dokey. Got the worm his data. Data shows the part to print. He wants an improvement. His improvement involves a mean shift. This is shoot from the hip engineering to correct the last shoot from the hip cheap ass change that is not working. He said he wanted a nom/max shift. I said sure, put it in and email I will get you a response on what we can do. He sent an email asking us to target nominal, which I just spent the last 20 minutes telling him "that is what we do". WTF.

Funny of the day, Plant Loco closed down food services and now has trucks that actually roll into the plant and sell food. Like the old-time catering trucks that went from plant to plant, these are on-site in an exact location. I cannot find them. WTF.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Tea Parties and Parity

Why are we left sucking the hind tit on a Chinese/Korean pig. We can't even put lipstick on that fucker. We keep borrowing money from the Chinese, the people that steal all our patents and jobs, let the Koreans do the same, and we refuse to make them do all the greenhouse bullshit we require the poor and out of work US workers to do. WTF. This is called our elected officials. This would be the people that ride in the Air Force jets with Nancy Pelosi.

There are people on TV throwing tea bags in the harbors. The original revolutionaries did not throw tea bags, they dumped all the imported tea leaves (they did not have Lipton or Red Rose bags back then) and it was considered a real sacrifice.

The economy has tanked, our politicians think we are stupid, and we are throwing teabags in the drink.

When are we as human beings going to address the real issues: there is just so much profit to made in any industry, arrogance just goes so far until someone takes you down, no one is a prince or princess in the U.S., and the damn U.S. Congress works for us, not the other way around.

Do we really want Universal Health Care when we already support all the illegitimate children born without fathers paying support and not acknowledging their children. Why are the people that can take advantage of further education not doing so. Why are not the myriad of churches (I pass one per block in Detroit) preaching to their parishioners to help their own flock. Where is personal responsibility? And where is the person that should be advocating this?

Why are we in this fucked up mess?

Maybe because no one wants to stand up and admit we must all take care of our own mess?

Who is it that can't sweep their own stoop, street, and help their neighbor? Who is it that can't look out for the neighbor and cook some extra food? Who is it that harbors the good little boy that just shot some people up?

This is fucked up and will continue to be until we all say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. As long as we put up with this shit it will continue.

And I will continue to ask why.

And in the interim China owns your country and Korea supplies your goods. WTF.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I have been stimulated.

Yes, indeedy. I got my letter from the government. President Obama has stimulated my unemployment benefits. I get more. A pittance more, but what would a non-working person expect? A Cadillac Escalade like the Kwame Kilpatrick family? Oops, that was kinda gifted.

The three headed dog is under the gun again today. No more headlamps (this means everyone gets to go home early and may have to stay only 4 hours tomorrow if the dog can't fix his little mis-understanding with his supplier). For all you non-automotive geeks these are what you usually call headlights. All automotive geeks make up lame names for their parts. Ash trays were called ash receivers, as if that was all the trash they received. I remember once telling Big Daddy about a problem I had with a package tray. He finally said what the hell is a package tray? He was on the same program launch I was on. I told him it was the shelf above the rear seating under the backlight. He was like, what the fuck is the backlight? I told him it was the rear glass above the rear seating that let in light. Writing this I know understand why automotive is in the toilet. I won't even talk about the cat whiskers.

Oh, I have another plant now. We'll just call it plant 2. Looks to be okay and it is job security to have more than one. Appreciate that.

EPuffer not working out and I am still looking for an Ecigarette, this business seems to have boomed and there is crazy information, pricing, back-orders, and of course on-line opinions. More on this later.

Nothing funny today. Many people have had personal losses this week at plant loco and there are many sympathy cards to sign, also followed by a few get-well cards needing attention. This has been a very sad week for many. Much sympathy to my Puffette and her family on their loss.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Got to Get Ready

Tomorrow is back to work day, so everything needs to be in order so I don't make myself crazy. Puffette's books need to be stowed in the car and frankly the car needs some spiffing up and fuel. Also need to make sure I have few packs of cigs-not buying cartons any more in long anticipation of the EPuffer. Also need a variety of coats, hats, gloves and scarves in the car as you never know this time of year. Sweat or Freeze, mostly in the same day.

As predicted the preoccupation with my toe is nearing epic proportions. To pinch or not to pinch. This is ghastly.

I need to tear apart the dining room and clean thoroughly so I can put my new rug down. The current rug needs cleaning and is not my favorite. Might put it back down in the fall as it is darker in color. New rug is sage green. Current rug is burgundy.

That reminds me, The Three Headed Dog has a new red on the best of the best Jeeps one of which is the Grand Cherokee. This red is kick-ass. Really, really a nice rich red. My Ford Edge is red, so maybe I am prejudiced for beautiful reds. Mostly my toes are red too. Except in March.

Well I flunked out on the Sunday NYT Xword really bad. Embarrassingly so.

The Well Done Fillet had a blog on violence against soldiers near Belfast this weekend. Very sad to think that beautiful country could return to the senseless violence of the past. You have to wonder if it is the economic distress making idiots feel they can take advantage of the situation or just egomaniac imbeciles no longer able to control their baser instincts.

I wonder if the time is near when decent people will just no longer tolerate the fringes of society taking up our time and energy.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Toe Problems

I haven't been sleeping well lately, waking up all hours of the night, tossing and turning, hot and cold, AND THEN suddenly in pain. Horrendous pain. Really bad. It was my toe. My big toe. When my toe touched the bed it was hurting.

Now at 2AM this is kinda hard to get your arms around. Although as any normal person would-I touched my toe in the hurt area. Yes indeedy, it hurt. I just love how whenever I am in pain I must recreate the pain. Well, I was successful. From that moment on I was officially having toe pain.

Okay, first I had to get a plan. Plan A is always to ignore pain as I convince myself it is nothing. By the way I am a hypochondriac. When Plan A doesn't work I go to Plan B. Seeing the Toe Lady on Saturday, pedicure every other week is booked forever. OK, Toe Lady will tell me everything is OK, just a little ingrown which she has fixed before. Toe Lady will set me free.

Toe Lady was like, hmmm, don't know, this could be something, hmmmm. Then of course I had to ask Toe Lady if my toe was going to rot away and fall off. She said probably not. THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. She said if toe still hurts in one week I need to go to the doctor. Now I have to pinch toe every opportunity to gauge the hurt to last time I pinched the toe, will probably cause a huge toe pinching injury and then I will never know. Is the toe OK, did I hurt the toe. And how do you explain this to a doctor, which by the way, is looking at one toe out of ten with no polish. Which is a coral-red. March is the only time of year one can experiment with polish. Next will be pink and then back to summer red for when we get to show off our toes again in rainy April. Unless you are my Martini friend who is currently wearing Three Headed Dog blue on her fingers.

Oh yes, going back to work next week. Think I got the Marvin thing right, still don't have my EPuffer, my mentor Puffette better have that book in hand, and I can't wait too see gregory the worm is still walking and talking.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Writer's block overcome

Had a hard time this week putting something in writing. Started a few things and they just weren't right. Now I know why. I need stimulation that makes me laugh. And I have been laughing my ass off since yesterday. Where to start, the Detroit City Council or the Obama DVD gifting. Oh, and lets not forget the New Orleans City Council and Mayor's office.

The funniest has just got to be the special session called last night by Monica Conyers for the Council. The video on WXYZ.com is hilarious. Barbara Rose Collins droned on and on about God knows what. None of this drivel made sense. Then she accused L. Brooks Patterson of setting a bus on fire and calling her a monkey.. . .this is a woman who wore a tiara to a council meeting because it was her birthday. I don't remember if she had money pinned to her blouse. Then she stated that she had not taken her pain meds that day so she would make sense. Then she started singing. Yes, singing. Onward Christian Soldiers. And she forgot the words. WTF. To be fair, L. Brooks did respond the only thing he wanted to steal from Detroit was the Fist and Ms. Collins tiara. Gotta Love Detroit.

Now, on to the DVD's. What was he thinking? Movies? Just regular movies? I think we should all send President Obama a DVD of our favorite movie. I will send him my copy of United Flight 93. I never been able to bring myself to watch it.

New Orleans, people-people, just call the Detroit Free Press attorneys and find out how to get the emails, ya'll don't need to re-invent the wheel. We did all that and our mayor went to jail. And maybe, unless Obama tells the U.S. Attorney office to back off, so will the City Council.

Okay lets sum up:

Obama-Stock Market means nothing/DVDs mean I am your friend.
Detroit City Council-Pain meds means I won't make sense/singing means.....
New Orleans-Just get Brad Pitt to produce a reality show of City Council meetings.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Major Lifestyle Changes

No more Detroit Free Press. Since the announcement that the paper would be going to 3 day a week delivery and the fact the paper has been reduced to about 4 pages a section, 3 sections-I have been shopping for news. And the winners are-WJR on-line for local news, The Wall Street Journal as they have a bit of everything and "The Middle Seat" blog/opinion about the airline industry, The Washington Post-they have Miss Manners, and The New York Times for the crossword and Maureen Dowd. I love Maureen Dowd, she picks on everyone. All of this will cost about the same as the abysmal Freep.

Speaking of the NYT crossword I really enjoyed Rex Parkers's blog about the ACPT experience. I am still too chicken to compete but if Punkinhead still lives in NYC next year and I am still employed I might go just to watch. Lurk in the bar for famous crossword solvers. How rich.

Things learned while laid-off. I found a new television show on network TV. It is called The Doctors. First I thought why is a soap on the wrong channel in the morning. Then I noticed these are real doctors answering real problems. Like when should you be worried if your skin changes color. Blue is bad. And how men should check their testicles for lumps like women check their breasts. But men are too shy to check their boys. This is why the balls get blue.

Just one more comment (since I have no funny) on Michelle Obama's sleeveless statement, Joy Behar's fixation with Rush Limbaugh, and people orating on people orating. Come on now people.

If you can run your mouth- stop talking about how other people have no right to run their mouth. If one us can be an asshole, we all can be an asshole.

Joy, no one asked you do date Rush Limbaugh, do his laundry, or listen to his radio broadcast. We know you don't like him. Move on.

I made a statement that in my opinion Michelle Obama was sending the wrong message by appearing a in summer dress in a winter photo. We know it was winter because it was taken in February. And I feel with President Obama pushing to tax energy this is provocative statement that the Obama's do not have the feel the pain of lowering their energy bill or their carbon footprint. This is my opinion.------But I am sickened by the comments on many sites that tend to be racial in defending or condemning her clothes. It is clothes people.

The casual dress workplace has changed not only the way people think about dressing but also lessened the chances for learning how to dress from your supervisors. Some of us were not raised by parents knowing what was appropriate for every situation. The book about dressing for success explained how perceptions based on your appearance affected your chances for social acceptance, monetary gains, and public approval. Yes indeed people judge you on your appearance. Usually in a split second.

That said, women over 30 should only wear pink or red nail polish, no women should ever wear white shoes except in June, July and August, and one never wears a lightweight fabric in February (even in black) unless it is 80 degrees in New Orleans. Oh, and Michelle's dress would have looked more fashionable with a hanging pendant or long necklace, both currently on the cutting edge.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Random Thoughts from the Umemployed

This is hard, do I go to most important to least important? Of course, I am the only person with a vote.

Least important, experimental food. Trader Joe's has shelf stable microwave meals that are whole wheat and health friendly. Unfortunately the one I tried is not flavor friendly. To me. I am spoiled by Big Daddy's cooking and used to much finer cuisine. Also, something came on the news today about a recall a Trader Joe's, hope it is not my food. Not too worried. Something with lime, I have no lime type stuff.

Trying out the Wall Street Journal on line (for free). I get the New York Times and with the Detroit Free Press changing to a mostly on-line format I am shopping. The Freep sucks on-line. Why would I pay to be irritated? I can get the local news from WJR on-line and would pay for that. Love the Middle Seat blog in the WSJ for all travel news, this is informative and funny if you travel.

All this conversation about Michelle Obama wearing sleeveless dresses. In the middle of winter. Why isn't that the conversation. How high do they keep the heat in the White House. Yes, she looks great. Does this mean she and the President want all women to turn up the heat and wear summer clothes in the winter? WTF.

And finally, all the sudden everyone hates Rush Limbaugh. Please. People have had opinions about Rush for years. Rush talks about what is important to Rush. How is this different from Joy Behar (did I spell this right?) screeching on the VIEW everyday? Well, Rush doesn't screech and Joy used to be funny before she became a daft harridan. At least Whoopie is still funny.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I Hate Baseball

To me baseball is the dumbest sport ever, it just does not make sense. There are a bunch of guys that huddle around in a hole in the ground. There is another bunch of guys that kinda spread out on a thing called a baseball diamond, but it does not sparkle. There are some other guys that are supposed to be umpires and all they do is hang around and look kinda fat. Then they decide to play a game. The game is that one guy comes out from the ground and stands in front of one of the fat guys and swings a stick at the other guys standing around the diamond and if the stick makes a connection with a ball most of the guys on the diamond chase the ball. They do this for a long time. WTF.

Well, you know they have outsourced most everything in the U.S.A., they are now outsourcing baseball. I just saw it on the TV, India is now our source for baseball players of the future. Now don't get me wrong, everyone should have an equal opportuntiy to stand in a hole in the ground. But honestly, should we give such a stupid pastime up to the Slumdog Millionaires? Why does India not have a thriving baseball industry if they are so great at this sport?

Other than the fabulous Soccer teams in Europe where else in the world is any sports enterprise followed and adored other than U.S. sports teams? Canada has excellent hockey, but their teams play in the NHL and they want the Stanley Cup as much as any U.S. team does.

Segue to automotive, we invented the motor car, we adored the motor car, we raced the motor car and my husband's family was a major factor in getting the motor car in the hands of the American public.

Then we went into a hole in the ground and stood behind the fat guy and let everyone take away our "stuff." This is not protectionism. This is-why aren't we competing for our own place and why aren't we making India, Japan and Cuba put their teams up for competition like our friends in Canada do. Go Canucks.

Tommy Bahama shoes do not fit

Size 7, I am too depressed to put a picture. All you size 7 people know who you are. I am a size 7 too, these are definitely a size 6. Size 6 people that contact me have first dibs, otherwise they go to the first charity I see.

Green wedges, just too damn cute. WTF.