Thursday, June 30, 2011

I am tired of being the only smart person

Oh, I know there are 2 or 3 more of you out there, but it is not enough.

And just to get it off my chest so I can continue, will someone, anyone, buy Hillary Clinton a bottle of shampoo and teach her how to use it. I would not even bitch about the hideous headband at this point.

Okay, here is my bitch of the day. What part of "we" ain't got no money is really hard to understand. You go to the cookie jar and it is empty. That means no money for us. When I was laid off it was for a week or 2, I don't recall,  it was pretty much known at that point that the economy had changed and more lay-offs were probably in the future. So we cut out the bullshit spending. And when Big Daddy was RIF'd we cut out all extra spending. Period. I was working then but we were not going to spend money unless it was necessary.

We did not go to the neighbors and tell them that because they were rich they should give us some of their money.

If Greece and Detroit cannot pay their bills then I guess they should quit spending money. Now I don't live in Greece so I don't know their bills, but Detroit has a whole bunch of people making big bucks. And the budgets for city government are huge. And Detroit is a shit hole. It is obvious to me that the money spent has not done a thing to improve the city, so just quit spending it. What is the worst thing that can happen? If the city buses don't run children can't get to school. Then maybe the schools should be in walking distance.

When I spent time working in Detroit I knew a guy that walked or rode his bike every day. Took him 2 and a half hours to walk to work. And he worked 10 to 12 hours a day. That is what happens when you don't have any money and you are trying to get back on track and have a cash cushion.  By the way I watched this guy walk to work for 5 years. He got so he liked it, it was a challenge. I also knew a guy that could not afford to drive his Grand Cherokee to work, the vehicle he produced. It cost too much for gas. This was when gas was pretty cheap, 2001, the problem was he had a 2 hour commute. Maybe he should have moved or bought a Neon.

And this human trafficking thing is getting on my nerves too. The reason for this is because people are cheap. In the US the Great Benevolent Society wants to get a manicure and a pedicure for 10 bucks. The whore mongers do not want to pay standard rates for a blow job. The prissy women want their houses cleaned and their children nannied on the cheap. And all the cheap, cheap, cheap bastards want their property landscaped and manicured for a song. How about we just cut to the chase and go after the cheap assholes. How hard is it to find the lowest priced nail tech and check her bosses papers. I am serious, this is happening in the US and everyone is aghast and my question is "Who are the clients"?

Oh, and I loved Obama's speech today about how his daughters are perfect students (shades of Jimmy Carter here) and why can't the Congress stay in town and do their jobs? He stated he has been in town. I want to know who has been going to all those fund raisers on his schedule, you know the ones where he does one official duty and then 3 speeches for cash. Don't throw that stone unless you are clean as a whistle buddy. And a side note, a decent father would not use his children for a cheap sound bite, so don't bitch when that one comes back to bite you in the ass.

That is what makes me angry, it is all rhetoric and politics. No one wants to own this mess. The government keeps making laws they cannot afford for people who cannot, will not, or do not want to pay for them.

And finally, I can fix this gay marriage thing in a heartbeat, the government does not have any business in marriage, it is a sacrament of the church. No money for you government. What the US needs is Civil Unions. There are thousands of government employees, think TSA, that could fill out this paperwork, and then we can all be civil. Think of the tax dollars with that one change. And I really don't care if you civilly unionize with a pig or a goat as long as I don't have to go to dinner with you.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Peruvian Delights

One of those orchids.

Last night we went out to dinner. This was our second dinner at the new place that replaced the old places.

Taxi ride was okay after a few "what language are you speaking" interchanges. Big Daddy's claim that he speaks great taxi is akin to me saying I should be a model for SI as there are people who weigh more than I.

So we get to the place and woofie is not there. The co-owner is there and seats us outdoors as we have the nasty smoking thing going on. First thing they tell us is no "Fop pia" which means no receipt cash only which we knew going in. Great dinner but weird people. The real owner, or the major owner, comes out to meet us. I am assuming because it was slow and we eat early. When you spend most of your life getting up at 4 in the morning it takes it toll on late nights. Think of me as Kelly Ripa on TV, then maybe add on a couple years.

After dinner I ordered an expresso for BD as I had a bottle of wine. We had the wine corked to take home and the major owner guy comes back out to chat about his chef and the love of Peruvian cuisine which I really did not get from the menu. Maybe I am not too bright. Then he starts going on about this Pisco and how it is wonderful. I asked, "like in Pisco cocktails" and the next thing you know I have a chilled glass of Pisco. Now I am very picky about what I drink as I read somewhere that hard liquor will give you wrinkles. As I smoke I cannot double up on the wrinkle thing. And Strivection can only do so much in reversing the aging process.

This swill was like Everclear mixed with hairspray. Who in their right mind would willingly drink this shit straight up? The bus boy. He came over and I montioned and told him to take that glass in back and drink it himself. And he did. Behind the potted plants.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Rare Blue Sky

Shanghai a few days ago from the balcony.

Enquiring minds want to know why my name is so strange. I started this blog because I was laid off from my job for the first time in my life. I was bored and everything in my life was so strange. Also I did not want anyone to know who I was as I wanted to speak freely. I am still somewhat cautious in identifying people and places, it can be a small world and a vicious one. My name stands for the major companies I dealt with, Ford, General Motors and Chrysler. It started out as an automotive blog written from my viewpoint. The pictures at the top are significant to me.

The old car is actually owned by the family and was manufactured by a family member. We could have been rich but Henry Ford is rumored to have burned the factory down twice.

The middle picture is a drawing that a guy on the line drew when Cerberus took over Chrysler. You can see the love.

The Phoenix was my hope that I would have a job in the future. We can see how that worked out. I am unemployed in the one place I was hoping not to be.

A friend convinced me join a social network to play free games as I was bored, broke, and slightly batty. This required my having a name. So I made up another one. I did not want anyone to find me on the social network. There are various reasons for this but the most important one is that I am the black sheep of the family. The truth is I always expected to find Jerry Springer on my porch sent by my family for an intervention. They find me lacking in their brand of Christian love and I have no money to share with them. Bless their hearts.

So, MOV, you can call me Nola. New Orleans is my favorite place.

Badger, no I will not be driving in China as it takes years to get a license and more moxie and insurance than I will ever have.

I need a car in the US because I am a pessimist and await the other shoe dropping and going home with no money and no car, and no ability to get one. You need a car to look for a job. Big Daddy works for a suspect company and I can no longer be surprised by anything that happens. The only thing that surprises me is that bullshit, ignorance and stupidity seem to be the norm.

So to lighten this up a bit,

The good:  BD bought me a foam rubber, covered in cloth, thing for the bed. I slept through the night without pain and got out of bed without a lot of pain. I cannot scrunch on the long train rides with my back. When I birthed Punkin Head it was discovered my tail bone points in the wrong direction. Was not great for either one of us.

The bad: Delta, the shit airline I must fly home (if I want to get there in less than 4 days) has now changed the Economy Plus seats on International flights to only Plats and Diamonds without charge. Must get on Flyer Talk about this one. So I have to pay 80 US dollars both ways for a seat that will allow me to walk off the plane without assistance. On a crappy 747 with no personal entertainment other than the cabin crew dissing the pax.

The Ugly: Mr. Rooter seems to be having a problem with refunding my money for the "not to code" chimney liner they installed. This will require me to go to the bar of my choice in Detroit and speak with my council person. And then others. And this just pisses me off. Not going to the bar, love the bar. He has one week to make this right. We spoke with the credit card company and that is the max time for his promises to appear on their system.

Wally World never fails to amuse

Internet will not allow me to post pictures.

Walked down to the rabbit warren, first time out of the apartment in a week, to test the back problem issue.

Went well.

There were hordes of Chinese in a tent put up by Coca-Cola drinking Coca-Cola and taking videos of a Coca-Cola display. I am starting to wonder if the Coca-Cola formula for China is not a bit different than what is sold in the rest of the world as I have never seen anyone line up for it and go through a tent taking pictures before.

We met our usual asshat at the bar where we buy coffee and he told me he is from Miami. Not even close dude. He could not pronounce Miami. And he is returning to the US to go to school in Boston, BU. That sounded just a bit pretentious. And then he could not pronounce pasta arrabbiata and that was what he was making for dinner. With no peppers,  as he showed us his groceries. Then he said he was really from Ft. Lauderdale. This is why I just think everything here is phoney including the  people. He is from Florida like I am from Texas. Although I do have the blond hair.

As the being out in public was great we went on to Shaanxi Lu and bought 2 orchids which we had potted, a mint plant and a clear glass vase for 17 US dollars. What a deal.

We have movies at home and Big Daddy is making comfort food with leftovers and a snack of smoked salmon and toast points. Comfort food is hash and salad. Punkin Head is checking on my dental appointments and we need to start thinking of a car to buy.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The South West Airlines Pilot rant, can you tell I am bored?

My back went out 3 days ago. And Big Daddy is traveling so I am really, really bored.  Reading the Dean Koontz Frankenstein books and I am really not happy with them. But you read what you have. Read a bit and rant a bit. A friend convinced me there were great after talking about them for a year, so I ordered them but they are just not making me happy. I may have read one of his books in the past and ordered these as they are based in New Orleans, my favorite place in the world. Anyway, too little NOLA and too many changing styles with the writing.

All over CNN and my favorite air travel sites everyone is talking about this guy. Since I am not a PC person I listened to his rant and cracked up. He is ranting he can't hook up because the majority of the cabin crew are gay, old, or fat. At no time does it occur to this idiot that maybe he cannot hook up because he has no redeeming features. I do not know why he cannot have sex with women that are not flight attendants, but when you limit your choices  . . .  This reminds me of so many guys, and yes woman too, that draw that line in the sand at "I will only have the best".

I remember a guy I worked with that seriously thought he was going to meet a Supermodel and win her heart with his who knows what. He was hilarious and a lot of women go for a sense of humor. But he turned down normal women for that elusive chance that a Supermodel was going to show up on a night flight from Podunk to BFE. I knew guys that tried and tried with women that just were not ever going to give them a shot. And I knew women who could just never understand why Mr. Impossible either treated them like dogs or dropped them as soon as they delivered the goods.

There are rules people. Under normal circumstances like seeks like. I have seen it a million times. I could, and probably should, teach classes about how to fit in and excel in situations that can be challenging. Hidden clue-seek out not-normal circumstances.

Getting laid in Chicago is not challenging. For anyone. For those that cannot attract partners up to their standards there are discreet services that will fulfill their needs. See the bartender.

Getting ahead in business 101 tips are free today, don't tug on superman's cape, don't spit into the wind, and don't mess around with Jim, I think that is Jim Croce.

And if you want to reach for the stars you need a plan. Ranting on an open microphone for all the world to hear that you can't get anyone to have sex with you is not going to get you a spot as the next Bachelor.

I think he needs to go to "How Not To Be An Asshole" classes with the Weiner Dog.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Just a note

The Rooter assholes are giving me money, the cost of the chimney liner, which is more than the other Rooter people said it should cost for a new one. I can't think about this until I see the money.

No email from the dental group. Hmm. So no purchase of plane tickets on the crappy plane.

Big Daddy found a worse shop than the one that required flashlights to see anything.

I feel like I am in one of those old Japanese movies where the mouths do not match the words. Just like BD saw last night in Shenzhen on the expensive cable TV.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Random Things

You always want what you can't have, girls with straight hair want curly, short men want to be tall and Chinese men want a slightly overweight blond. Four guys tried to pick me up in the span of 10 minutes while I was standing on the sidewalk waiting for Big Daddy. And yes, they were all scary looking.

Watched a lady (during the 10 minutes) scoot after her dog trying to stick a torn piece of newspaper under his ass as he was trying to take a shit. She was successful.

I think I know why I am gaining weight, I wear flat shoes. All the skinny bitches wear very high heels and wicked platforms. Only the fat girls wear flats. I am thinking I need Laboutins, but I can't walk in them so how does that help with the fat?

Shenzhen is banning, really banning not the previous faux ban, electric bikes as they are dangerous. Hope someone told Fed Ex and DHL.

China is giving tax breaks on electric cars. But since they shut off the electricity on a regular basis you will need a diesel generator to charge up your car.

I saved the best for last.

In order to stop unnecessary Metro (subway for the yanks) trips they are raising the price during peak travel times.  I need to ponder what would necessitate making an unnecessary Metro trip during peak travel times when I hear that is your best shot of getting squished like a bug.

Late breaking news, BD reports he is on site at the job that is way behind on their timing. He is there to find out why. He is walking around with a flashlight. Gotta love it.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Once again Big Daddy misses the Kodak moment

We took train home from BFE Sunday afternoon. Fountains that never worked were splish splashing in all their glory while the rains came down. Peng Quan, or phonetically Pun Trank, means fountain. New word of the week I will never use again in a sentence. It is so Chinese to turn the fountains on only when it rains.

I made a new friend, Daisy. If you take the business card you are now friends. And she likes reading the books I leave at the hotel. When I travel I always have books and I try to travel only with books I can leave when I am finished reading them. So now BFE is becoming filled with literature picked out by a person who will read a cereal box if I am desperate. We order all the best sellers we can tolerate every few weeks. We order our favorite authors if they write anything new. We order whatever else we think won't make us puke.  China is now filled with everything from James Patterson to Sarah Palin. The only one neither of us can read was the last Tom Clancy and we were really looking forward to it, but it is Clancy on LSD and I just can't read it. South of Broad by Pat Conroy was fabulous.

Anyway, we get on the train and life is good. Until shortly before we arrive in Shanghai. I was kinda thinking about going to the restroom to pee but that is not a pretty sight at the end of the 4 hour train ride. Then I smell this overwhelming odor that smells just like urine. BAD. I asked Big Daddy if he could smell it and he did wrinkle his cute nose. He got up to go stand at the back with his bags as he was tired of sitting and he could not pass down the aisle as there were shrimp and clams laying on the floor of train being sorted and bagged. Yep, right on the floor where people walk with their peepee shoes.

 Is this not a Kodak moment?

Friday, June 17, 2011

Faux Laila Ali

That would be me.

Right hand hook connecting to the right cheek.

It was not pretty.

Yep, I backhanded a Chinese guy.

Okay, we went on a walk after dinner and all the conference calls and thought maybe a massage would be an excellent end to the day.


The people that run the massage area are not part of the hotel. Who knew as it is in the hotel.  We were attempting to set up a massage when this weirdo interjected himself into the process. When he started rubbing Big Daddies belly that was not a good thing. When he started touching me all bets were off. When he tried to get on the elevator with us, well I was a good person and tried to get the staff to come and save his sorry ass.

They did not respond in a timely manner.

So I belted him.

Have never done that before. I noticed that my knuckles were crying. Hitting people is not as easy as it looks on television.

The staff showed up during the hitting incident and urged us to leave quickly. Up to the next floor.

I now know don't fight like a girl, go for the nose or the testicles. And do it like you mean it.

And you can depend on Big Daddy to miss the Kodak moment. He claims he was trying to get me in the elevator, I think he does not know how to work the iPhone yet.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Way We Play Football in the USA

Defense. Plain, simple and downright ugly.

You gotta have the ball. It is easier to keep the ball than to get the ball back.

Well I played ball today with the plumbing and heating guys. And I still have the ball.

First the heating people were prepared, they actually remembered the service call. It seems my chimney liner is an inch or two on the small side. Which makes the furnace a death trap in their heating experience. They did apologize that we might have died in the last year as they never caught this in the last 2 out of 3 inspections.

Second the plumbing company took 2 separate calls as they have names that are quite similar. The plumbers were a bit of a problem. They accused me of yelling at them. When I explained for xxx number of times that I was calling on a cell phone from China they seemed to calm down a bit. They however could never find their paperwork and fobbed me off on a manager with no warning. He was not Mr. Happy to get this call.

One thing they all had in common was wanting to come to my home and review the fiasco.  With a 3 hour window. This is gonna cost me money. Which I explained in a very nice way, if I have to hire someone to sit and wait for you to show up to see if your work is done properly this is an expense to me. Why am I paying someone so that you can check and see if your work was done properly and to code?

We still have no answer on why the city inspector signed off on this and I don't want to go there without a plan.

I have to call Mr. Plumber tomorrow at 9 PM my time to see if he has figured this problem out yet, and he did agree we need to tackle this problem with the least expense and drama to all parties involved.

As I am back in BFE I suppose it would be appropriate to see if Mr. Clay Man has a snake to add to the collection. Snake in the grass?  I am also a bit morose as the Dragon lost one of his hands and I have no glue to fix him.

My back is acting up and I think a massage is order in the morning, wish I had Coach Schembechler here to give me some pointers. RIP Bo.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I need a can of Whoop Ass

Shopping is difficult here so the Whoop Ass is going to present a challenge. And no phony Whoop Ass as when I am finished I expect them to stay on the ground and not come after me ala Night Of The Living Dead.

The list of targets is long and picayune, growing like the Kudzu of my beloved south.

I also will need to order a can for delivery to my home in Michigan, will have to check with Amazon, this can will be needed after my first nap at home.

When Big Daddy first left for China and abandoned me I predicted everything would break and leave me in a shithole of expensive disasters. It happened just that way. There were days there were more repairmen in my home than I had rooms for them to work in.

Punkin Head Skyped me this morning to let me know the well known furnace company did their checks and shut off my main furnace as the work done when installing the hot water tank last year, also done by a well known company, was not to code. So, if I understand this properly, the hot water tank experts, the city inspector, and 2 co-workers of Mr. Furnace fucked up. By putting the wrong size vent into the new chimney liner. Hmmm. Oh and before I forget they shut off the other furnace as it has cracks. Now when you accuse eveyone else of fucking up and doing shit work that means I need another opinion on anything you say. Which is gonna cost me money. Which pisses me off. 

This is shaping up to be a nightmare. First I have to do this all by international cell phone service in the middle of night. And if I have to be there in person it will need to be when I am getting my tooth implant completed. Which that office is on summer vacation during the first of July. And what is really making me angry is that I have to fly home on a crappy 747 with no new Economy Plus seats and no real entertainment gizmo.

Today I am the bug on the windshield.  When I find out who is at fault in the mess I will let everyone know.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

It is Time for a Rant, Thank you Randy Andy Weiner Dog

And thank you General Honore for gifting us the term "Stuck On Stupid". As we all know how much I love cliches I am in hog heaven with this one. Hillary's "hard dog to keep on the porch", Bill, seems to be the God Parent of this dickwad. And all weiner jokes aside, this asshole puts the cherry on the sundae. He seems to think he is all that and a bag of chips too, not plain, with BBQ. Oh stop me, this is too fucking easy.

Seriously, this ass-wipe is asking for a leave of absence and seeking treatment. Where in the hell do you get treatment for being an asshole. I do not buy into the male bullshit sex addiction claim, nor do I believe in the treatment for such a "Stupid" condition. How come all the men go for treatment and all the women are either whores and sluts or put in prison? "My name is Wee Willie Wanker and I am an asshole". Please.

And just exactly who, or is it whom, can grant "a leave" from the Congress. Isn't that scoundrel elected by his constituents? Are they holding a special "can the sleaze-ball take a time-out" election or is Nancy Pelosi "look at my pearls, not my neck" going to make this decision. I do not understand how this works. If you are elected by the people, to serve the people, how do you get to take time off for "How to not be an Asshole " classes? How long does it take to teach a slimeball not to send pictures of himself  "all puffed up" on the Internet? If you are so stuck on stupid that you did not think you would get caught, well isn't that kinda like getting really low SAT scores and just knowing you are community college material? Do you really need a rejection from Harvard with those scores?

And I know this is a sensitive subject to interject into this post but lets compare it to Gabby Giffords. Did she ask to be shot? No. Was she shot on the job? Yes. Should she get paid medical and Workman's Comp? Yes. Does someone need to be doing her job? Who might that be? If it is not the person elected to that job where is it written who does her job? If no one needs to be doing her job, should we eliminate her job? We are talking about the US government here, not Wall Street.

Just asking because I don't know the answers.

And since I am on a roll,

Why is no one bitching that as soon as Jennifer Granholm got the chance she took a job in California? Not saying she is not smart, just saying she left. Is there a chance the free tuition for residents was part of her decision?

Why is no one telling Maria Shriver it is a family tradition?

Why is so much time, effort and money being spent on Sarah Palin's email and I have seen nothing of interest?

Is the Bachelorette stupid or is she drunk? Did Emily really give her ring back? Is Piers really still on TV? Is Anderson friends with Sanjay Gupta, and if so why are they  not travelling somewhere together, say to Joplin to see the new fungus?

Too many questions and so few answers.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Fabulous French

Isn't it amazing how one person can change your mind about an entire country? I have seen the light. Not all Frenchies are bad. And there is one or two Aussies and Wankers that seem okay.

Today I had the best hair experience in a long while. I have to say it is better than back home in the land of Wasp Villages AKA Grosse Pointe, which I always pronounced as Grossy Pointee in my mind. First time in Shanghai I did not leave in tears or close to crying.

This miracle of hair care took 4 hours and I tell you I almost lost my mind. That is way too long to have someone fuss over your fucked up hair. But the end results were perfect. Expensive, but perfect. And I am once again the very proud owner of blonde and beautiful tresses.

And I do not have one complaint and regarding hair salons, I am the Queen of Picky.

Le Salon, Yongiia Road 570 near Yueyang Road, Surpass Court Building 3 Telephone (21) 6074 0365

Anna did my hair and she is a dream and her and I think it is her husband?s staff is great. Whole bill for this color fix and blow dry was 2100 quai. Also had a mani and a pedi while I was sitting there for 300 quai and it was good, and very nice nail tech.

Probably should not tell everyone this but really no one reads my Blog and they were great. Just so you know I did the nasty American thing and tipped.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

As promised, the pictures

This is the clay pig.

This is the clay dragon

This is what happens when you drink alcoholic beverages

Big Daddy does not ask for much. He is really low maintenance so when he asks for something I take it seriously. Once, years ago, he told me he needed 2 pair of socks. This struck me as odd so I did some follow up; what kind of socks? Regular was the reply.

During one of our forays into the rabbit warren BD espies this store with clocks. He is enchanted but they are just opening and still unpacking so I pull him away and off we go.  A few weeks ago we found ourselves wandering by this store again and BD looked wistfully inside so here we go. I checked it out and asked BD which clock he liked. He showed me one that was okay so I told him deal on this animal thing and the clock and see what happens. Now the rule is if you want a deal you start with the item you don't care about and then add in or transfer to the item you really want. I had to leave as I am notorious, if I want it I will pay any price. Cannot take me to an antiques store or estate sale.

So I am sitting down the street ordering drinks and looking over the menu at the outdoor cafe when here comes BD with both items. Oh shit. He did get a great price on both of them but WTF am I supposed to do with the cat type thing.  As always when we buy something new we must redo the entire decorating scheme and this place does not really have a scheme, it is a furnished apartment. So now I have an undersized cat thing of some sort on an unattractive and large coffee table. This was my solution, cheap purple glass and some flowers to fill in the space.  We have no idea if we will ever get paid to get anything shipped home so we are careful not to spend much money on what may become throw away items.

This however is a keeper because it makes Big Daddy happy.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Staring at the floor committee

As promised someone came to see the fucked up, broken, piece of shit floor.  She was very nice. She did not speak English. We came to a meeting of the minds when she started rubbing her hand on the floor. I showed her the problem. That is when we hit the fork in the road. She was going to call someone, I am thinking Shemp. I wanted a detailed plan prior to Shemp painting the floor again. So per my instructions she had someone who spoke English call me.

The English speaker (who uses my name as her nickname) offered to move us to a different apartment. No way Jose. Then she agreed to come up herself and look. Then she says she will help prove it is not my fault. Then I opened the wine. Then Shemp joins us, now we have the requisite 4 people for a meeting. It will be very hard to fix the floor. My solution, cut another piece of this phony shit to match the section and glue it down right this time, was met with resistance. It might not match. As nothing in this heathen country matches or is square I am not seeing the problem.  My second suggestion of telling the ayis to quit beating the shit out of everything with the cleaning tools was explained away by the statement "all the ayis went back to their home towns". Turnover, who knew. Maybe if you paid these people a decent wage you could keep help.

Solution was to redo the section, but only if Shemp could perform his miracle fix-it job and prove that this time it will be great. As we speak Shemp is gluing down the slivers and covering everything with what appears to some kind of plaster or wood filler. This will take 3 hours as Shemp and has to sit here and watch it dry. Being the bitch I informed them that Big Daddy, or Sir as he is known in China, was the arbitor of "fixed". So here I sit watching Shemp watch the floor waiting for the miracle of floor scuplture.

Okay, I gotta admit 3hours later and if you did not know it was fixed you could not find fault. He even put the faux grain in the faux wood.

Do I think it will hold up to normal wear and tear, No. Will I work around it for my short term sanity, yes.

Just Wanna have fun

It is so good I needed it twice. Not really just suck at posting pictures.

Yesterday afternoon Big Daddy had to go to the coffee shop in the hotel to use the WiFi to make a conference call. This is because the Internet in the apartment was not working, again. As he was leaving I gave him a list of complaints for the hotel manager; 1. Why do the ayis keep shorting us towels? 2. When are you going to fix the floor that is getting worse and becoming a safety hazard? 3. Why is the TV on the fritz all the time? 4. Why is the Internet so unreliable? He did his job well.

1. He asked the Head Housekeeper if the ayis could not count to 4. That is the number of towel sets we are supposed to receive. She said she would investigate and get us a towel. What amazed me is she actually tested her quality system and sent a bogey through. Instead of the one towel we were missing the ayi brought two. So yes we have verified they cannot count. We have also verified that the bogey usually gets to the customer which is why most companies quit using that method.

2. I received a phone call from the hotel manager about the floor. I was amazed. We discussed the disintegrating piece of phony wood that is losing veneer every time the ayi beats the shit out of it with the vacuum cleaner. The first time they tore it up I made them call maintenance. Shemp came up and looked it over, pulled off the cracked and loose veneer and then he went and got a can of brown paint. When he finished painting the floor he looked at me and I said no. So he shrugged his shoulders and painted it again. So someone is supposed to come up this morning and stare at the floor with me.

3. The TV cable company is owned by the same people that run the phones. They are having problems and are supposed to be fixing it as we speak. That is the reason we have no TV sometimes, they are fixing it.

4. The Internet. Now that is an interesting story. It seems most of the complaints, recently over 100, are coming from the ex-pat buildings. Apparently they sort us into groups and keep us segregated. And our 2 buildings are the complainers. Now we knew there was nothing he could do about this one but it was funny to witness the hemming and hawing. While BD was registering his complaints one of our new neighbors walked up complaining about the Internet. There are people here trying to do business and cannot connect to their customers and clients. I just want to do the crossword puzzle.

BD had to leave me in charge as he was needed in BFE today. I think he feels confident in my abilities as I handled the flower lady quite well yesterday. He has this system worked out where he calls her and she says jabba, jabba, jabba. Then later the front desk calls and says jabba, jabba. Then you go downstairs and there she is with her flower bike. Well, he called her on the holiday and she sent him a text message in Chinese. Sure enough yesterday around noon I get a call on the apartment phone with jabba, jabba. Thank God I remembered the text message and trudged down to the lobby to find the flower lady parked outside in the rain. Took care of the flower purchase and arranged the flowers. Now keep in mind we buy a lot of flowers. This takes 2 people just to get them upstairs. And I bought sunflowers as they were so cheery. And I think I ruined my Leatherman tool sawing the stems off.


Monday, June 6, 2011

It stands to reason

Went out yesterday to do some chores; drop off books, get some coffee, get some new DVDs, and yep once again I was foiled by the Lords of the DVDs. I checked with Mr. Woody and he said yes, yes, yes English. Nope, nope, nope Spanish. Although listening to Sean Connery speaking Russian in Spanish did make me laugh. For a second.

They are renovating the wet market and I am supposed to shop in this alley until it is finished. I have felt going into the alleys was rather disrespectful but I am told this is common practice and get over it.

Also the old men on the sidewalks are not playing poker, it is some game that sounds more like pinochle and they won't care if I watch.

This guy gave me a new lead on possible contract work, might be worthwhile as he is in Shanghai and prolly has Internet. I however do not have a China Internet address and don't quite know how to do that.

Well, I need to go find the alley, so later.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Lincoln Lawyer

Okay, here is the deal. I have never seen a real, legitimate, DVD in China. Never. You can only buy phony ones and they are all over. No seller has better quality than any other seller. Does not matter. So we got the Lincoln Lawyer in one of our recent buys and got around to watching it last night. It started out in Spanish but quickly went to English so we were okay with it. At the end of the movie (Spoiler) the lawyer is in the Lincoln and the two dudes start speaking in Russian. Then the motorcycle guys come up and there is a conversation with the head biker dude and the lawyer. I need to know what they said. Movie stayed in Russian until the credits when it reverted back to Spanish.

If this was not enough the wet market is completely shut down. No place to shop with reliable food that does not cost a fortune. Still don't have the whole story on this one. And there is no place else within walking distance except Tesco and they are pretty dodgy.

And then, the cherry on my cupcake, this guy is trying to get a hold of me about a job and did not realize we are having Internet wars here -- he was not prepared. Then he tried to do something on his cell phone and they shut that off. Said he has never seen it this bad.

Well all I have left for entertainment is the Dragon Boat Festival on Monday. Computer is working well so maybe I can get some new pictures up.  Later.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Momma got her computer back

Yes, I have been without a computer for days. Big Daddy had to travel without me as the IBS took a turn for the worse and my computer was not finished being repaired.

Did you know that Robin Williams made a really bad movie where he was a used car salesman. I have seen it many times. It is kinda funny.

If I go out on the balcony I cannot breathe or see anything. It is like walking in soup. That reminds me of the Campbell's soup doll I have and how horribly disappointed I was to find out she was not worth millions of dollars. The lady told me, "It was free, what do you want?" Sad.

This weekend is a three day as we are having the Dragon boat festival. Not sure if I can take that kind of excitement and mixing with the Chinese commoners and no sit down toilets.

Punkin Head, Please let me know how the Prisoner flowers are doing.