Thursday, April 30, 2009

Chrysler filing for Chapter 11

Obama just got off the news, Chrysler going into bankruptcy court and don't worry be happy. Oh, and buy American. Oh, and finance thru GeeMack. Who the fuck is GeeMack? Did he possibly mean G.M.A.C. known here in town as General Motors Acceptance Corporation, or is there a new player in town. Or did his vaunted auto team not tell him GMAC is an acronym that everyone in automotive knows. This is embarrassing. And where the fuck is Chrysler Financial -I thought owned by the three headed dog? Maybe I am mistaken.

What is buy American as said by the president? Don't buy a Prius as Toyota never built one here as they claimed they were going to do, but buy a Camry and fuck Chrysler? Buy a Ford F150 not a Highlander? What is American when Mexico shut down there parts factories today as the pig flu is getting out of hand? And just who is going to fix your car on the Obama warranty plan when the dealerships are shutting down? Is Michelle going to replace your O2 sensor?

Go GeeMack

one of those days from Hell

Spent most of yesterday at various medical facilities. Two hours at the urologist, 20 minutes of actual speaking to people. One hour looking for X-ray place with no time left for X-ray. Hour and a half at dermatologist, 15 minutes speaking to people, 10 of that discussing books with the doctor. That is why it takes so long, he loves to talk. I thought I had booked with the daughter but I got chatty dad. Now I only have 5 more appointments and the X-ray. And so far nothing is wrong with me. And everyone wants to know if I have self-medicated. Why would I do that if I don't know what is wrong and you say everything is fine? WTF

Woke up to the WSJ saying we now have Gettlefinger Motors and the Feds are running GM. Wonder what kind of cars they will build. Europe has great cars that can't be sold here due to the Feds regulations, so once again we will re-invent the wheel. That is actually what the auto industry does best. Every meeting I go to is to change everything for no money with no data to show this is a good idea. It is simply the new guys idea. And trust me, every new guy has an idea including using a tape measure instead of a scale.

It is too cold, wet and windy here to garden yet-but the grass and weeds are huge from the short hot weather spell and sun...that is except for the plastic flower lady. Her plastic flowers stay the same year after year. This is what happened. Her yard did not look bad. She is not quite right and spends a lot time working in her yard. Well she works at a local market that was selling these rolls of flowers. Roll them out and water and you get a garden. Well she did. It did not work out very well. Maybe they were poor quality or she picked the wrong "roll" for the area, but it was pretty bad. But it was her garden.

Well, as usual, some well meaning neighbor told her what a misbegotten mess she had made and how it was making everyone look bad. Now, since I had the crappy yard with no complaints except from Grandma and this lady is truly not able to have a normal conversation much less take criticism, she did the only thing she could envision. She got rid of every green and growing item on her property except the grass. She cut down the trees. She kept half the grass. Everything else is bright white stone. Vast areas of stone. Upon the stone she strategically places plastic urns and angels. Into the urns she places plastic flowers. She liked the look so well, she put urns and hanging pots in front; the porch, the garage, window boxes. All with perky and colorful plastic flowers. Which she polishes on a regular basis so everything is nice and shiny. She is actually famous within the local gardening community when they judge houses for the beautification awards. I just hope the old grump who hated her green and growing garden loves the new look. Kinda reminds you of a little cemetery. Be careful what you wish for.

Tomorrow the cookie lady's garden, which is currently including a mud hole or two.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Strange Neighbors

You know after thinking about it, we really do have some strange neighbors. And some stranger ones that moved on. Most neighborhoods have one wacko. We've had so many I've lost count.

I live in an affluent community in a pretty nice neighborhood, not rich on my block but good incomes and homes. But a wacko magnet it is. Currently we have entertainment from the Vegans, the Flower Lady, the Musicians, the Cookie people, Grandma, the Newbies (who bought the Al Queda House), the Clampetts and the behind us people. This is on a short dead end street. And the recently departed, tear up the landscaping people, known as OHMYGOODNESS.

The spawn of the devil children seem to be made up of the Clampett ringleaders, the Vegans and the departed OHMYGOODNESS. When the OHMYGOODNESSES departed it took landscapers 2 days to put the $17,000.00 landscaping back in order and by the looks of it at quite a bit less cost- the plantings are not as lush as before. You might ask why that much money for landscaping on a street you claim is not rich. We asked the same question.

When we moved here for my son's schooling our new house had mature landscaping and we were busy people and paying for private school necessities. Well the middle bush in front of the porch died a few years in. I told my husband to paint it green and no one could tell from the street it was dead. He dug it up. Now we had a hole in the landscaping and there is nothing you can do with 40 year old shrubs that is going to look right. Then grandma started complaining about this fir tree on her side of our house. We know cause she talked real loud to everyone but us. Well it turns out the fir tree was on Grandma's property but the former owner of our house planted it. In a group effort we all got together and took down the tree. It truly was too big for the area and everyone was happy.

Now huge tree gone, hole in shrubs there and the place is looking crappy. My Punkin Head was now working for a landscaper and he and Big Daddy took out all the old stuff and picked nice but inexpensive border material and redid the front of the house, some modest planting-a new yard light from Costco-it looked okay. Next year we did the back yard which involved pulling up 20+hedge type trees, wrought iron fencing and cement type slabs. Well the garden games were on.

Now every ones' yards looked okay but ours. Now everyone was redoing their landscaping and yard lights. This was hilarious. The kicker was the OHMYGOODNESS house which had beautiful landscaping replaced in a ridiculous keep up with Joneses mentality. $17,000.00 dollars for landscaping on a small corner lot with a house worth under $200,000.00 with virtually no yard. I don't know who owns it now, I thought GMAC at one time. Whoever should just be grateful it has rained the last couple days on the new plantings and Big Daddy and GrrDog are watching out for them.

Only one neighborhood story per blog. Tomorrow the Plastic Flower Lady.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Punkin Head Request

Punkin Head wants more funnies. This is hard, funny doesn't come easy these days.

Went to the Doctor, I am now a mystery patient. They do not know what is wrong. However all the tests came back good. More doctors Wednesday, x-rays, appointments to make and another follow-up next week.

Funny today, well let us see-Nurse taking you in asks how you are in the pleasant conversational way. What do you think, I am at the Doctor's Office. Doctor asks if you have stress, I live in Michigan and work in automotive. WTF.

GrrDog has a new lease on life, hot weather and the pup is excited. He loves it outside. Chased a squirrel. Well not really, he woofed (which he never does) and appeared to consider if the squirrel was worth his time. Considering he is about 12 and should be quite wise he told the squirrel "dream on, I have some grass to roll in so I can get stinky."

Big Daddy has appointed himself watchdog of the neighborhood. The children-or as I call them-the spawn of many devils, have decided their mission is to destroy the neighborhood. I am believe their parents are making meth in basements as I have not seen them in weeks. The little darlings destroyed thousands of dollars in landscaping across the street and have now narrowed in on the vacant house next store. This house is sold and the newbies are their often but have not moved in.

They have tramped my daffodils, used the newbies shrubbery as forts and taken down a slate wall across the street. And no one says a word. Including the Wayne County Sheriff who lives 2 doors down. To my knowledge he never complained about the pot-heads that lived next to him either.

Maybe that is tomorrows blog, strange neighbors.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

not feeling well

Going to the doctor tomorrow for my follow-up and I am dreading it.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Lies, Lies and more lies from Volkswagen, Delta, and once again the three headed dog

What is it with people. Do they all really think that we are that stupid? Come on now, most of us are not; some of the people-some of the time. We are really not that stupid.

The Routan is German engineering? You can't get to Memphis, Tennessee for less than 500.00 on Delta (hint,hint it is a hub). You can't poop on a Delta flight out of your class seating when they tell you it takes two days to get to your destination? Chrysler is taking all their business to China and they won't pay for their tooling?


I think the three headed dog is having an affair with Volkswagen while they are secretly screwing Delta, who is actually married to Northwest Airlines, and they all think we are watching American Idol and no one knows why Paula Abdul is so popular. That's just me.

The Routan is simply a Chrysler Mini-van with some different taillights and such-built on the line at Windsor with the mini-van and Volkswagen bitches they don't like what they paid for. One thing NO car company tells you is they don't pay for perfect. Perfect costs money. They pay for 1.33 CPK. Period. Ask around, most of the assholes left in the auto industry do not not what 1.33 CPK is.

Delta, now here is a different story, Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport is the motto of the airline. Now I know why. Tried to look into booking a flight Detroit to New Orleans. Used to be $200 to $300 tops for a layover in Memphis on non-crowded days. HA. It is now hundreds more, takes 2 days, and for 1500.00 you cannot fly straight thru. How can it take 2 days in the United States Of America to fly from Detroit to New Orleans? 2 fucking days. Oh, and by the way do not call Delta unless you are a masochist.

Delta also has a pooping policy. You can only poop in your designated poop spot and in the designated poop time schedule. THIS is not transferable. Pooping is a serious offense if the regulations are not followed.

Chrysler can take their tools to China if they pay for them, same as we are supposed to able to poop where we pay for it. The three headed dog should have put into their contracts that they were only paying for coach tools, same as they should have told Volkswagen "If we like this should, you should too".

We like Paula because she is cute, funny and reminds us of ourselves. Just normal people who think it should not take 2 days to fly within the US, people who have to poop should be able to poop, and German engineering should not be a scam on a Chrysler mini-van.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What is wrong with the airlines or why is Delta competing with Chrysler?

OK, I felt really depressed today and thought that maybe trying to plan a get a way to New Orleans would perk me up. HA.

It now takes at least triple the cost and "next day" ticketing to even land in The Big Easy unless you are wealthy and spendthrift. WTF is next day ticketing? You leave Detroit and it takes until the next day to get to New Orleans. And you get the added benefit of seeing all sorts of nasty airports on your way to your destination.

Have the airlines gone mad?

Amtrak is cheaper and gets you there the next day, without seeing nasty airports and they have food and beverages, along with sleeping cars and no COKE POURING WHORES that want to castigate you because they can.

That is the problem with giving the less educated authority, COKE POURING WHORES and union reps, they think they are now the sheriff of Sherwood Forest, by goodness you will bow and kiss my filthy foot and also my very fat ass as I am a union rep. Yea right.

So, Delta Airlines has decided I will not be flying being out of Detroit in the near future, okey-dokey, the union wants to shut down Detroit, okey-dokey, and Timmy still can't get Wall Street to work with him. And Debbie, our Michigan senator still can't get her husband to get a real job.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Big John Part 2

Went to the lunch. It was huge. Stuffed grape leaves were great. Don't ask.

Plant Loco called 9 hours as they lost time today because once again they had no parts. It is supposed to be no O/T with the three headed dog, but repair is working O/T too.

Big John publicised his retirement with a flyer saying a legend was leaving the building. Dude, you are not Elvis.

Toes tomorrow, Marvin Monday, and new neighbors soon.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Big John

Ever sing 16 Tons, then you are really young. My dad played this on the music system available at the time and Big John loaded 16 tons. Tomorrow we are having a retirememt lunch for Big John who weighs 16 tons. Big John is a union steward and drives around on a cart. I have never seen Big John get off his cart.

Big John rides around all day on a cart making sure there are no union violations. Rides around on a cart. He is taking early retirement. The man has the easiest job on the face of the earth. Rides around, gets OT if repairmen work over, and rides around some more yelling at management. And this guy is taking a buyout. WTF.

If Big John is giving it up we all should worry.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bladder Spasms

I guess this is why I wake up and pee every two hours.

This does not explain the blown veins and bleeding in the lab, extra special bandages to stop the bleeding, caution on using your arms on driving home, and assorted other bullshit that just makes you scream.

Ultrasound on the pelvis tomorrow, yes indeedy we will drink pints of water when we have to pee every 20 minutes, that is a plan.

Not a happy camper. News on wetting one's pants tomorrow.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter Monday

Depressing day. I thought Big Daddy had the day off too, he is still laughing. It's clouding up and rain is on the way.

Went to the in-laws for Easter dinner. Lets just say, I don't know why they invite us, they don't like us. Do not want to talk to us, just at us. I spent the entire day smiling, keeping me mouth shut, and watching the clock. Thank goodness for a delicious Zinfandel and Big Daddy's garlic soup. Mother-in-law liked my green strappy heels tho. Then they asked me to walk in the woods. Now as this has never come up before I did not have the hiking gear in the car like they did. As if I even own hiking gear. To me hiking is walking the French Quarter looking for antiques and jewels. Not snakes and mud in an overgrown forest in April in Michigan. Yuck.

Big Daddy just puffed his ecig and watched the men drooling over his dress felt Stetson. Hilarious. Ford Edge got 23mpg on the highway, not bad for a pretty big AWD. We drove that instead of the Grand Cherokee as I only have about 4000 miles on it in 10 months. Unless my life drastically changes in the next year someone will be very happen to pick up this vehicle when I turn it in.

NEWS that needs to be mentioned-

Portuguese Water Dog for Obamas from Ted Kennedy, this dog swims and retrieves, enough said. Named him Bo instead of Mary Jo. Disgraceful. Another PR faus pax from the "diplomatic" people that are apologizing for the US arrogance.

Somalian water dogs shot by Navy Seals. Sometimes there is justice, sometimes there is juice. Not what you know, but who you know. Cha-ching, paying down the debt.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Easter Saturday

In the UAW world Good Friday and Easter Monday are paid holidays. Ford gave up Easter Monday in the latest contract by GM and Chrysler still have it, so I have 4 days off. And buddy I really needed it. Last week was really hard. I was exhausted.

I almost feel like "Defects are Us". I have never seen anything like this in a long time. Actually never anything this bad. It is like every brain cell in our plant went on vacation early. This is some dumb stuff I am seeing. And Explaining. And no one cares for the explanations. This is true silo thinking. Their dumbass people are the only dumbass people in the world, our dumbass people are worse than anyone in the history of the world and should be shot. And why did we hire the spawn of the devil in the first place. Their dumbass people are simply misunderstood, my dumbass people are evil and intentionally out to make Plant Loco depository for all things wrong in the world. I thought the one guy was going to cry when he described his vision of a perfect world without me in it. I can't wait til he meets the Koreans.

I remember when we shipped from Europe to a Plant Loco competitor. 4 weeks on the water, put on rail in Montreal and then trucked from Dearborn. Oh yea, and 2 weeks to convince the Europeans that they had a problem. Air France flight 74 was the expedite, with 2 days in customs at Metro. The good old days. Back then the customer tried to make me cry. I remember one day I was getting yelled at and in the back of my mind Cher kept singing gypsies, tramps, and thieves. Customer opinion of my European compatriots. And this is when we all made money.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

NYC Auto Show

Just found out my parts on the new vehicle have not been tooled, so I guess we can't really make this shit, right?

Go, three headed dog.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Serena, that's me

The peeps said I was serene today in an attempt to make fun of the fact I was stomping about and mad as a hatter. I really feel like Serena in Bewitched, if I can find a way to fuck with you I will.

I had to listen to numerous lectures on why I am such a shitty supplier from people who work for the three headed dog that doesn't pay their bills. Yea, big boys is Windsor up and running yet?

I snowed again today and it was blustery. Blustery should not be an April word.

The newspaper world is going to hell in a hand basket and Big Daddy has tried to get the Wall Street Journal to deliver a paper here for over a week. They just don't want our money or what? This is of course due to the fact the the Detroit papers can't deliver most of the time as very few people here in Motown still have jobs.

Someone tried to set Bambi on fire again today, I had to purge the yard for defects, I had to listen to how shitty we are, and now I have to enter reports on all this shit to my boss who is in a pissy mood as the Spartans lost.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

happy toes

Me and GrrDog have new toes. NOTE the Pedi socks. And me and Big Daddy have a new cooking race.

Tomorrow I have new secret challenges at the Plants that are "not to be told to the customer". Sometimes I hate this job.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Plant Loco Bambi update

As you can see, the degrading treatment of Bambi continues. The peeps have now inserted a cigarette in poor Bambi and this is just too sad.

Getting my toes done tomorrow and I need to relax because my new, old, and now returning engineer wants to go over last years issues to verify continuous improvement on a dying program when the three headed dog has no money for improvements. And the reason they are in need of improvement is because every change to lower cost was a cluster fuck and caused all the crap we are now dealing with. WTF.

The Martini girl thinks Bambi should at least have an ecigarette. Also in developing news, Bambi is a rescue fawn. Rescued after Christmas by a kind hi-lo driver. We believe this fawn is the spawn of Rudolph.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Henry Ford was wrong?

According to Nancy (you remember the Demi Moore wannabe) Pelosi, Mr. Ford had it all wrong. Black is bad. As in car color. You know, the color of the limos she rides in on her way to the Air Force jets she flies to and from California. You know, the ones with the dark tinted glass.

Well, while she was jetting across of the USofA in the government provided G5 she deduced that the lowly people driving about on what used to be called roads and streets were being wasteful. They were using AC in their cars, and the black cars were the worst. Cuz they heated up more, or maybe faster, or whatever. So Nance is pissed and wants no more black cars. Maybe she should talk to the dude in charge of the Auto Industry that is learning it. Like they could not find a dude that knew automotive. Ever heard of Roger Penske, Lee Iacocca, Bob Lutz or maybe just the car guys on the radio.

And Nance (just so you all know, I am not spelling her name wrong, I am calling her NANCE with no accent on the E) just sell your pearls and you can pay for your staffs bonuses without charging the taxpayers-why do your people get bonuses and people like me don't. Bitch. I make well under a $100,000.00 and no one would take my job on a bet.

Okay, funny of the day. The slovenly hut they make the smokers congregate in is built on a concave section of asphalt which regularly floods. This area flooded prior to the hut. It is really nasty. But if it is cold and raining your choice is nasty hut or roll the dice for time off by smoking inside. Some person within the last few months moved a small table in there. OK. Next there was a thick plastic cover over the doorway which kept the smoke in. Next there was a fake plant on the table. Actually quite a nice fake plant for a nasty plant. The next addition is quite upsetting . . .

Bambi, Bambi was setting on the table. Now remember, this table (filthy) is outdoors in a filthy, nasty, bus type station, with litter all about. So here we got Bambi next to the fake plant. AND some ASSHOLE MF set Bambi on fire. Why, why, why? Why would you hurt fake Bambi? Why would you set fire to a little bit of fake and tawdry shit in your smoking shithole? What is wrong with you?

We found Bambi outside the shithole, very smoke damaged, and we are looking for donations for bandages. I have a picture, I am waiting for Big Daddy to black out my face-I do not want to have to testify-of how sad Bambi is.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Let me tell you a story . . .

This is what I am reduced to, we need a story. I can't stomach the stories, so you make up the stories and I will stand there and smile. And I won't respond to emails because I am not going to put my name on this information. We are going to hell in a hand basket and I mean a plain, cheap, non-designer hand basket. I love cliches.

And if I can't tell you story then there is no hope for humanity, cuz I can tell the best stories in the world. And the only thing the customer wants to hear is "my problem is going to go away". Guess not going away with the ease of the past. And you don't get any golf balls anymore.

Funny of the day has to be the rumor that Obama gave the Queen an IPod. You got to be kidding me. Brown gets DVDs and the Queen gets an Ipod.

Dude, what about hand crafted quilts from Kentucky, jewelry from the southwest, Abita beer from New Orleans, Zatarain's, maybe even some Starbucks? What is wrong with you, this is the US of A and you are dissin us.