Friday, April 9, 2010

China Observations

Internet is very spotty this week. Not surprising as every day there are new warnings, dire warnings, of how China is preparing for Expo. None of the warnings have been followed up on, so I am assuming this was a cover so they could screw with the Internet. Big Daddy bought a kitchen knife, no big deal. They have never checked out ID coming into the hotel. The taxi just cruises on in with me speaking Chinglish and waving my arms about in the universal language of "I am an idiot".

Come Fly With Me has a whole new meaning here in the People's Republic:

Scheduled take-off time is a suggestion. They may or may not board the flight around this time and it is certainly no indication of when they may take-off. When you are on the plane there is an air traffic control announcement. This means you will wait. Then they bring out the carts and serve drink and boxes full of breads.

Sometime near the end of flight we are all encouraged to exercise in our seats. The first time I saw this I thought, WTF? I barely have room to breathe and you want me to exercise? Yep, they do and show a video. And yep the passengers exercise. So far have not been hit by an elbow.

Expert flying information-no, they do not all speak English. No, they do not wait until we get to the gate to stand up. No, if you have to gate check your bag as they changed the type of plane scheduled, you will not get your bag back at the gate. Yes, you better not lose your little bag tickets, they really do check very carefully for this. Yes, they will find anything that is not supposed to be in your bag. However, they are nice about it.

Sidenote: Can't find matches (no one can unless you give them a reason), but they did find my wine key. Male security did not speak English (yes, this was an international airport) so he called over the female and she said "cosmetics". So we started sorting through the bag and suddenly she said, "opener" and I thought Oh Shit, the wine key, showed it to her and she then re-scanned the bag. When it was all over she asked me what is the name of this, the wine key. She really was nice and wanted to learn what the item was called in English. (They made me open the bag and help search. They remove whatever items they find offensive-she kept the wine key, but wires and such they put in a bin and leave with you while re-scanning) Do not put your umbrella in a carry-on, hand it over to the person that takes your laptop and puts it in the bin. For some reason they are obsessed with umbrellas.

Just so your know, international hotels do not always have English speaking employees not do the western restaurants. Sales people in stores may or may not speak English also. If you are here for a while you will start speaking Chinglese and your family will stare at you the same way the Chinese people do. And just so you know speaking louder and slower does not work here either.

Personal info, job interview did not work out. Hair is out of control. Now have angry red spots all over body, not bugs as Big Daddy has no spots.

Coming home on Sunday. Hoping I still have steroid cream.


  1. Wine key. Never heard that one either. Always thought it was a cork screw or as I raise my nose and tilt my head back a 'tire bouchon.'

  2. Cork screws do not usually have the knife and double notches with the "folding" feature. Wine keys that I have seen cannot open a bottle of Bud. Cork screws can do both the Bud and the wine.