Sunday, August 22, 2010

Breaking News: Shanghai

Small Plates:

According to the China Daily you cannot eat penis(es) if you are under 16 or maybe 17, article is hard to follow while you are laughing so hard you are crying and clutching your stomach. This includes every penis from Donkey to Chicken penis. I will pay to see a chicken penis served in any form. Maybe a new book is in order, Who Stole My Penis.

Small Books:

Yesterday I told Big Daddy we were shopping for Bibelots. He inquired as to what they might be. I told him I thought they were cute little pieces of shit to sit around and collect dust. Today Punkin Head told us the history of Bibelots, small books in French that over time came to mean other shit that collects dust. We got ourselves a Bibelot. It is a votive candle holder made of shells.

Small bad fruit:

The have been selling these cactus looking things on the street. Small, round, green on top with a kinda cone shaped body. The top had these convex things that look pretty strange. Finally bought one from a vendor in front of the hotel and took it to the Bell Bar to ask Amay, what the fuck is this?

She said it was very sad. It was lotus fruit. Very sad lotus fruit. Very expensive sad lotus fruit. Dried up. Punkin Head if you dry it you can use it like popcorn. This from the web. Popcorn that would cost a fortune.

Large things:

Which brings us back to donkey penis(es). No I am kidding. I have found the best water in the world. Laurentana from Italy. Comes in big glass bottles. It is heaven. It is also all expired on the date code. When all you can drink is bottled water you become quite an expert on the taste of water. Tried some water recommended in the book "The Man Who Ate Everything" by Jeffery Steingarten. Tried Volvic, nuhuh. This Laurentana that is expired is the best. Negotiating for more expired water as the current supply is expired anyway. And this stuff is not cheap.

Large cabinet:

Big Daddy went and bought the cabinet I picked out for storage. It is beautiful. Now he is mad that all the space is used up already. Did he not notice this shit sitting all over the apartment, including the floor. That's a man for ya. However as my hero he got 2400 yuan off the price.

So things this weekend are not that bad. The apartment is filled with flowers including a "present bouquet" from the flower seller. We found a wonderful amber scented "bottle with sticks" as seen on Oprah for a song. I am happier than I have been for a long time. This place is a bitch to live in. Have to walk to Hong Kong this week. Hate that.

Big Daddy wants Pizza for dinnner after reading Catherine Coulter's "Whiplash", we will see how that works out. Pizza is a first-no penis(es) for toppings-will stick with pepperoni.

Little Automotive News:

Back in the old days we used to pray for someone to screw up the launch before we did. A little bird tells me the latest Nissan launch may answer someone's prayers. I hate to say it because it is so cliched, but also so true, you get what you pay for.

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