Thursday, March 31, 2011

Travel Pet Peeves

Home again to Michigan and I must say it is just as gray and dreary as I remember. There is some sun this morning so I should savor it, they say rain is on the way. Loving the TV and the fast Internet. Loving the pastrami and Swiss my special girl picked up for me. Big Daddy is so jealous I have real food. Speaking of BD he is back at the Best Western and went into the lobby bar for the infamous beef hamburger without beef. The bitch was still there but she did not wait on him, she sent the two girls. BD said they were trying not to laugh when he checked for the beef so this is obviously a story that made the rounds.

We tried to call for a taxi but the front desk never answered so we pulled all the bags to the front ourselves and Mr. Gatekeeper came up to us with the jabba jabba. As he has never spoken before I was in shock and awe. And of course had no idea what he was communicating. Turned out he was helping us get a taxi from the 3 stooges. 2 of the stooges spoke a bit of English so I heavily stressed drive slow and no crazy. Mucho pantomime. That worked out great, better than the child proof lock lessons. This guy for reason was using the child proof locks and was flummoxed when the doors would not open. This happened more than one time.

So I am going through passport control at the airport and I see this Chinese chick very oddly dressed. Well that was because she had her dress tucked into her panties in the back and her coat just barely covered her ass. After watching her awhile there was an opportunity to get her attention just before the security checkpoint where I knew she would have to take that coat off. I casually walked up and asked if she spoke English and thank goodness she responded yes. She thanked me. I hope she understood me.

Waiting at the gate I saw this guy, big guy dressed in shorts and a tee shirt. Well it was not shorts weather in Shanghai nor in Detroit. I was like, WTF. He just happened to be in front of me in the customs line and if me if it was always like this in Detroit. I asked him "like what"? He said passport and customs and I had to tell him it was the best I had ever seen, we were literally flying through. Although the bag carousel broke down 3 times and was still broken when I left. I asked about the shorts and he told me he was flying on to Atlanta. He said Atlanta International terminal was fantastic and very speedy. Who knew. So baggage claim is my first pet peeve, it sucks in Detroit.

I observed the flight crew arriving and I must say I have never seen a sadder looking group of people. Grim looking group. Not a smile to be had. They looked like they were dragging the world with them. And they stayed that way for the entire flight in coach. In B/E they perked up a bit but when they came through that curtain they left their smiles behind. I went back to the galley about 4 hours into the flight to ask for a glass of water and you would have thought I asked for the bitches tacky jewelry. They no longer put out the glasses and water for us scum in the back. When they served the last meal, breakfast, they give you a small styrofoam cup of coffee on request. No refills, none, nada. WTF. I realize water and coffee cost Delta big money but smiles are free. If they hate their jobs it is time to retire. And everyone of them was old enough for social security so what is the problem. Maybe they could just roll them over to be TSA and then they could still be mean but not have to pour the coffee. Pet peeve 2.

Gate lice. The final pet peeve. As in normal in China people started lining up for boarding early. Very early. But I noticed this was the white people in the "Elite" lane. And they stood there forever. And the Chinese chick checked their boarding passes and ok'd them. So when they call zone 1 I go get into the line and I am the last and only one. Hmm. Then I get to my seat, which is an "elite" seat and the bitch that was number 3 in line is in my row in the window seat. With no carry on bags. So why did she have to cheat. Did she think they were going to take her seat out and make her sit on the floor? And a lot of the other folks in the line ahead of me were all back in steerage with me too. And the Chinese chick let them cheat. Grr. Don't get in line until it is your turn.

Well to finish up with this post, as per my usual when I got home the toilet broke. As we are down to one toilet this is a bit of an issue. So yes, me and Mr. Rooter are dating again. He should be here this afternoon. Thank goodness Punkin Head stocked up the wine.

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