Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Traveling Pants or my new pee pee pants

There is a story about the traveling pants. I don't know it. I only know my story of the traveling pants and it is ugly. I am traveling about China with Big Daddy. And in China you wear pants. And in China you have to pee. In China they do not have above ground toilets-you know the kind you sit on. China has these fucking porcelain holes in the floor they call toilets. With foot rests. They are filthy. And the ladies squat. No hand rails, nothing to grab onto. In the floor. And they miss alot-peeing in the hole that is- according to the amount of liquid on the floor. And they do not use soap to wash their hands. They use water. The water you are not allowed to drink. And there are no hand wipes, towels, papers, whatever. I finally got fedded up (a French term) at the last airport and went to the "weak only" stall. It was all fouled up with errant pee pee too, I assuming as they only know how to squat and cannot aim. Or clean up after themselves. and there is no cleaning crew on the "washrooms". Yes, speaking Canadian in China. So now my traveling pants are the ones I wear to and from the airport.

It changes the way you think when you are aware of the fact that most people you look in the eye have pee on their trousers.

At the new accommodation 5 star hotel in Shenzhen it is sucky. There is no manicure/pedicure service. The hair salon is bad-but the hair wash was fantastic. The hair Wash was done in the chair, dropped shampoo and water on drops at a time and the most fantastic head and neck massage ever. Not enough to make up for no other massage allowed-ONLY men are allowed to get massage (including feet). Women are not allowed. So I walked away with a really bad hairdo and aching feet.

It is not safe to go outside and shop. WTF. No shopping in the hotel except for overpriced Chinese shit I cannot find in Shanghai. Vases for 5,000 US, right.

Now we are fucked by Paypal and can't order food any more, so okay no more eating.
And I thought we had found a food source. Some British woman ordered on our account and shut it down. Great.

Big Daddy is now a fan of Dragon Fruit, speckled with seeds so I can't try it, he says it is delicious. So now I will now sign off and see what can possibly follow this fantastic day of disappointment. Oh I almost forgot to mention no smiles today, a couple nasty looks, and no sunshine. If someone could explain why these people are so miserable I would like to know. I get that they are under a communist regime, but since when is it a crime to smile.

No comments:

Post a Comment