Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I am not a doctor

Nor do I play one on television. But I am quite opinionated and well read.

Well, for those of you who remember the partial Rubik's Cube that manifested in my sight line, that is called an Ocular Migraine. I am blessed I have no pain or headache when I get them. If that changes or the frequency increases I need to go to my Internist and then a Neurologist. And hydration is a factor here which makes perfect sense. With the cold weather I have to cart my coat around and do not carry the water bottle in my hand which I used to do. Less water is a bad thing for me.

Other news from the eye doctor, I am not a glaucoma candidate but one to be watched. I might be perfectly normal. However this does rule out the Latisse or the common stuff for the eye drops for the eye pressure---as this can cause false readings for the testing. So I will still have normal crappy eyelashes. She suggested those trendy eyelashes everyone is wearing but I am not that kinda gal.

Onto the facial expert, every woman over 35 needs to exfoliate her face. When I explained my technique--which needs to be put back into use--she fell out. Baking soda. Yes, it is the best for the face and the cheapest. Oh, and my eye doctor swears by Prep H for bags under the eyes.

Well, I could call this funny of the day but Big Daddy would kill me. He was ill recently. It started Thursday evening with odd complaints but by Friday morning he was in misery. You all know how a man in misery is, the moaning, sighing, gasping, and just plain noisiness of a man in discomfort is enough to send you running down the street naked--screaming and pulling out your crappy eyelashes. You see, Big Daddy had not had a recent bowel movement and was in some discomfort from constipation. As a good wife I gave him some green tea and an apple. I tried really hard to block his moaning and groaning out of my mind. I went to work, he went to the drugstore. This situation dragged on another day. It was now Saturday and the miseries were still with us. I looked at the container of "medicine" BD had purchased and it guaranteed success in 1-3 days. I asked BD if he read the directions and claims on the bottle before he purchased it. He asked why. I asked him if he was content with not "having success" until Monday. Yes, I laughed my ass off.


  1. Many, many, many years ago my girlfriend and I tried Prep H before going on a blind double date. We wound up howling with laughter because if we moved our lips we felt our faces would crack. I believe there was no second date with those guys.

    1. Wow, I have never tried it, if I do so I will do it in private first.