Friday, September 16, 2011

I have to get Big Daddy Outta here

He is sending me pictures of airlines food. Airlines food is a cardboard box of bread, pickle relish in a foil container and if you are lucky some cherry tomatoes or some jello. Wow, this one had jello. I have never seen anyone eat the jello, including the Chinese people.

The Chinese asshole in the Passport lounge came and sat next to him and removed his shoes and socks and put his feet next to his computer and laughed. That is one person that should be very happy that mama was not on this trip, but ya know I don't think that ass-hat would have done that to me. I have this look that most people understand to mean, I will beat your ass and then I will hurt you. Of course, I have been preaching to BD that he has to be nice, be nice, do not get into with these ignorant m . . .

This is after he had to get the train  tramp, aka Ms. Dolly to make someone get out of his sleeper car seat earlier this week. I cannot describe the nasty things he told me about that trip.

He got the really shitty taxi driver in Shenzhen again, the one that charged 100 RMB for a 12 Rmb ride and refused to give a receipt. He sent me the pictures of the taxi driver, the license plate, the license of the taxi driver and the taxi. He did not send me the picture of the hotel staff trying to get rid of the taxi driver when BD would not pay the inflated bill. He turned one taxi driver in a year ago and he is still on the PRC GPS list. He turned off his iPhone GPS. Shitty taxi driver ran screaming into the night when he saw his picture on the iPhone.

BD was pissed when Daisy Mae, I kid you not, shoved him off onto Susie Q for his meetings, I swear I cannot make this shit up. But he did get the heated Bidet at the fancy Chinese hotel, he just does not have Bidet items to need a heated wash.

It did not help that before he left town we had to have Shemp day. If you do not remember when the bottom guts of our kitchen sink fell out at the other apartment, well it was happening here again. I do not understand why these people adore fixing shit rather than . . . Oh yes, it is because you have to employ a lot of people. So Shemp came to fix the sink pipes and replace all the light bulbs. The ceiling light in the Master bedroom was so dim that we had to light candles to find the bed. BD could not figure out how to get it down to clean it and replace the light bulbs.

Learned a new Chinese word : (as a white person would pronounce it) OH NOCKA CHEEKA, this is said and repeated while making a pyramid with your hands.

I don't have a clue but Shemp brought a real aluminum ladder and pulled the light fixture sideways off the ceiling and replaced the light bulbs. Cleaning is not optional on this one.

Oh yea, it is time for a break from crazy land.


  1. Heated e-bidets rock. I love how the fancy ones have a button selection for gender and heated seats and how they perform a courtesy flush when they sense you're in the vicinity.
    America is missing out...

  2. I am stocking up on sleeping pills for the big OD in case the posting to China comes through. Otherwise it is a rope from the ceiling and a jump off the OH NOCKA CHEEKA.

  3. Pawl, I was afraid to use the full service Toto toilet at the airport.

    Badger, I think there is a reason the ladders are kept under lock and key.