Tuesday, July 30, 2013

My own personal Carlos Danger

Although I think of myself as old and fat and ugly and well, ya know I am not thrilled with my looks right now, I am attractive to a few. Yes, I am getting the glad eye. Since at least 2 or 3 of them are normal I am okay with admitting I am too hard on myself and just enjoying an occasional nod. 

Until I met Carlos Danger II. 

He is in his early 50's probably. He is not fat, otherwise what I would call average. He is about 6 foot. Here is where it gets squeegee, he does not have a soul patch-he has a soul rectangle. He wears jeans and a tee shirt where no one else would dare and swears like a sailor to Director level persons. He has a "Members Only" type jacket with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. And the best part, he wears sunglasses indoors while watching the builds. Yep, there he is indoors, looking at cars go down the line with his sunglasses on. 

I ignore him because, first I do not ever want to talk to the customer engineers-nothing good ever comes from that-, second he is an asshole, third I don't have to. Well, that was apparently too much for Carlos, he sought me out today to discuss bad parts. I had to follow him to a vehicle and I was appalled to discover that he wears patchouli perfume. I almost fell on the floor. It was that nasty. 

As we were walking he asked me if I had a yo-yo. I knew that was a measuring device, but as a normal person I told him no, I had a tape measure. We got to the car and he asked for the yo-yo. 

Big Daddy tells me this is a real old fashioned term for a tape measure. Oh my. 

I need some wine tonight. 


  1. I consider myself aLL four: Old, Fat, Ugly and Well - I was trying to see if O F U & W made a good word .... WOUF, that kinda sounds like wolf, or rather the sound Cooper makes.

    1. Cooper would grr at this dude, he is scary and emits that "I am a skeeze vibe"