Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Unpainted Toenails

There will be no picture as I view unpainted toenails unacceptable for public viewing.

I considered drawing a picture but as Leonardo and I seem to have more than 6 degrees of separation that could take weeks.

Shit, first we need to get the latest The Help update out of the way. Punkin Head actually went looking and The Lady inquired for me, I believe a at Barnes & Noble. Nope, it is definitely December for release. As much as I have bitched about this I think Opie should just send me the movie in honor of his daughter, one of the stars of the film. Yea, like that is gonna happen. I would even donate money to his cause, whatever that is, just to get the damn movie.

I have also solved part one of the getting a job mission. I really am wishing I can find something not in automotive. That is a crazy world and I do not think I can do that again, and for probably a lot less money than they used to pay. I am used to sleeping all night and not talking to asshats at 11 PM. Also, since the government gave them some of my tax dollars I feel I have a right to tell them when they are out of line.

So to address part one, I am writing a cookbook. Just because I hate cooking and kitchens and preparing food is not a good reason not to write a book about cooking. I took over Big Daddy's Blog, previously called "Big Daddy Can Cook" now called, The Best Cookbook ever for Really Stupid People. I think it will be a success. I left his old recipes on it, there were only 2, they were good (stolen other people's recipes) and I may want to try them someday. I am currently working on a recipe for making coffee. If you check it out I must say Susan Spicer's recipe for Garlic Soup is the best.

Now, let us address unpainted toenails. These are usually toenails that have rarely if ever been seen by a professional. I do admit I have an odd fascination with toenails. Can't explain that, just do. Toenails should never be shown in public without polish. Professional type polishing. No one wants to look at nasty, dirty, jagged toenails with unkempt cuticles. Cuticle care is as important to pretty feet as perfect polish. Gleaming soft skin, silken cuticles and shiny perfect polished nails, that makes a foot worthy of being seen. Anything less is an affront to good manners. Anyone with a whit of sense can learn to do a proper pedicure, there is no excuse for bare toenails in public.

People without the good sense to polish their toes can wear oxfords and boots. Which of course means men should never be seen with visible toenails unless they are standing in sand. Period. Maybe on a boat, if they learned to properly care for their feet. Or they get regular pedicures, with buffing.


  1. Have you ever seen any episodes of My Drunk Kitchen? It iz zay riot (alcoholic slur implied)

    I love to eXperiment in my kitchen. Have I told you yet that I was/am a chemist by degree? My latest discovery was putting peanut butter in my German Chocolate Cake. Two in a row superb, my wife thinks its very moist. Think I am going to make one today for a present for all the people who a wonderful job taking care of me at the local diner on south main street.

    If you get super desparate for a job then you can always get a nail tech license and work in our back room. We have one nail tech at the moment and probably have room for at least two more. Its a nice and new place. Best of all its in Texas!

  2. I am worried about what happens if you get that Help movies and it is complete shit. And are you really going to pay full price for a movie? That does not seem right in China - is that allowed?

  3. I read the book many years ago and it was fabulous. I am southern rooted and I can remember some of those hi-jinks. The movie got rave reviews, even from Piers. I may have to be sneaky on this though, hmm, disguise it as a package of birth control maybe.

  4. Patricia, Qualified Chiropodist, UKApril 29, 2013 at 9:08 PM

    The only purpose of painted toenails is to hide dirt. No other reason. Any female who paints her toenails with acrylics or petroleum-based products is too lazy to look after her feet.

    In the long term, she will end up with walking difficulties and will be begging disability benefits from taxpayers.

    1. Ah, but painted toenails is not to hide dirt but to be pretty. Dirty toenails are not acceptable anytime or anyplace. But if your toenails are plain you simply must not wear sandals and shoes that expose the unpainted nail.