Saturday, December 31, 2011

What a Debacle

There will be no pictures, frankly I scared myself when I looked in the mirror, Big Daddy is still Rudolf and I am so not happy.

We got a late start today and it went downhill from there.

We went to the basement movie store. There was this guy standing in front of the new releases. The table is 3 feet wide. And a rather tall large man was standing front and center looking at the movies. There aren't that many movies to look at on the table. Well, I peeked and peered around him as best as I could and then yep, the devil came out. I asked him if he was going to buy all the movies. When he said no, I asked him if it would kill him to let someone take a look at the table. I swear I did not use a bad word. We got MoneyBall and One Day with Anne Hathaway.

Next we went to exchange a jade necklace BD got me for Christmas week. It was too expensive for how much I liked it. Not much. Well of course we could only exchange. Although BD did get a bit off the necklace and then I got a bit off one of the bracelets so it was okay. Got 2 bracelets and I have no clue if they are worth anything. I do not know diddly about Jade.

So then BD insisted we go to Marks&Spencer as they have clothes for fat people. Now really, I was regular normal size when I got here. People thought I weighed less than I did. Normal size U.S. 10/12. I am short, almost 5'4", really just a smidge under. So I am curvy and a little, maybe a lot top-heavy. So I have gained 15 pounds in the almost 2 years I have been here. So I would now call myself pudgy bordering on plump. I am not the hugest person out there. I tried on every damn coat in that crappy store and the only thing I can figure is every well off  cheap white bitch with a driver got there first. Because a size 10 in British sizes was the largest I could find. Then I found a little bigger and then a little more bigger. I don't know if those assholes know sizes but I finally found the last biggest ass coat in the store, and it was the only one not on sale. BD found me in tears, when I told him the size he said he would cut the tag out.

Now since I worked mostly with men I know size does not matter, and six inches is huge,  I am thinking that explains the British sizing. And BD says we can return it for wine and chutney. Because Mr. Bigger Bigger called and he has found me a coat. And since he has no sizes, only bigger bigger, this could work.

However, this tale gets sadder and sadder. We could not get a taxi to Mr. Bigger and Bigger. It seems that Friday night is the worst time ever to get a taxi. We walked from Marks&Spencer to the Portman Center and during that time we had at least 6 phony (or black taxis) stop and try to pick us up, 4 motorcyles trying to get us as customers, and one real taxi that offered to take us on a 14 rmb fare for 50 rmb (which we should have taken and then stiffed him) and the guy on a lawnmower disguised as a red metal cart.

I did however meet a sweet little girl who spoke English. Her mother only spoke Chinese but kept encouraging the girl to talk to me. She was 7. And when they gave up on the taxis she told me goodbye and we wished each other Happy New Year.


  1. I understand the pain of having 15 pounds creep up on you. You truly have my sympathy.

    I realize I am naive, but isn't China one of the places in the world where you can have a new suit whipped up in a couple of days? Aren't the second floors of crumbling, ancient buildings stuffed with tailors like the goblins of Gringots? (Sorry - I watch way too much Harry Potter.)

    In short - is it possible to have a coat made there?

  2. I actually think my new Carhartt coat from my children is too big but I have not made it back to Amarillo with enough time to eXchange it or try a smaller size, but I am lucky it has American sizing. I try to avoid getting on scales, so I have no idea what I don't weigh at the moment. I just know my new coat will let me walk outside no matter how cold and windy it gets during the next two months.

  3. Finding a tailor in Shanghai is as hard as finding a Gringot, I love Harry too. The tailors that will sew for white people want more money than Max Mara, and they prolly sew for them too. I think the best tailors are in Taiwan. That is a plane ride and hotels, etc. I am still trying. My new mission tomorrow is to try to brave the gym downstairs again. I am taking the thermometer I brought from the states with me as you have to wear a coat and hat and gloves in the gym most days. None of the main areas of the building are heated.