Saturday, July 7, 2012

I am gonna blow, like a whale

Everyone has had this idea that putting "devices" on my television will make someone happy. Not me, as I cannot work any of the devices. Whatever, this shit does not work and is making my life miserable.

Here is my idea of television, I look for shit I want to watch and then I pick it and watch it. I use the tool that came with the Comcast service and touch the buttons that pick the stuff I want to watch.

Currently I now have 4 "tools" that belong to the main television. None of these "tools" will let me watch movies, including the Roku nightmare "tool"

I have 2 other televisions that I cannot watch either.

I am thinking I will either have to have a one-night stand with a Comcast employee or a long term affair with someone that knows how all this technology works.

If no one shows up that looks like I could even stomach having coffee with, much less an affair, I am going to have to just rip everything out and look for a short term liaison at the local electronics store.

Meanwhile, we are all going to watch crap TV because that is what mama can find on the TV.

In other words, and make no mistake about this, if I find that I cannot turn the television on one more time, just one more time, the shit is going to hit the fan. And Big Daddy you might want to look up, cause that fan is over the bed you will be sleeping on.


  1. This is why I'm fearful of getting a flat-screen tv. I have a hard enough time now. I still have and use a VCR but mostly use the DVD player. I don't have cable into the TV and I'm fine with that.

    One remote can turn the TV on and turn up the sound. The other operates the DVD. But considering that I'm maybe all of four feet away from it, I think the exercise of getting up to turn it off/on etc. is probably a good thing.

    Isn't PH around? Is he any good at showing you how these things work?

    Otherwise, it might be a dreaded case of RTFM. (Read the Freakin' Manual.)

    1. And I can't use the printer to get one off the Internet because everyone cobbled up my office area.

  2. I think the word 'remote' means to mote again. So I do not know how that applies to a teleBision remote. I did dig moats around my grape plants for watering them (hopefuLLy) more efficiently, but now Coopie likes to walk in them, eating/trimming the grass. So I have a muddy munching mutt in a moat.