Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The new neighbors almost have a name. I am trying very hard not to give them an X-rated name like the assholes but it is getting hard to find one that is both appropriate and not too hard core nasty.

Mr. New Neighbor, we will call him Dead Man Walking as he is so old he is barely walking, has spent the afternoon clearing his yard of leaves. Here in the mid-west we have these tools called rakes. You put the tool on the ground and pull it towards you and the little pesky leaves come along in a group. It is commonly called raking the yard. When you have a yard as small as we have here in the poor section of the Grosse Pointes it takes about 20 minutes to rake the yard. Mr. DMW  took 4 hours to use a gas powered blower to blow his leaves into the street. The last 15 leaves were a bitch for him to chase down as he only moves at the speed of of a zombie.

Why can't I get a normal neighbor?

He just blew his granddaughter or Mormon wife off the driveway as she was trying to rake. Oh my goodness.

Big Daddy told me to chill out, it is an old guy with a new toy and he will probably have a heart attack soon.

The City says they pick up leaves on the curb on Monday.


  1. "speed of a zombie"!! "Mormon wife"!! This is hysterical!

  2. Oh, my God, girl. :-) You made me laugh!


  3. Glad I made you two happy, I am now tracking the leaves for the upcoming round 2. That gas powered blower is way too noisy.

  4. I think the assholes is a good name for neighbours. We had some we called the fuckweazles.

    1. Hilarious, I can almost picture a fuckweazle.