Friday, May 1, 2009

Chrysler News

Well I heard different things this morning, but really they are all about the same news. Two locals (thank you my peeps for calling)(and one grade 93) from Plant Loco report: Hourly and Salaried Bargaining and Contract plant workers are indefinitely laid off with a hope to return date 4-6 weeks. Same for our friends across the border. Now the Unemployment offices will implode again because indefinite lay-off means you must register your resume or whatever to seek work. I wonder if we will all work for the Unemployment people soon.

Well, on to the cookie lady. This was a sad house from the beginning. First a drug addict, on a trust fund, with 3 very evil German Shepherds lived there. It took me a year to run her off. The dogs were a nuisance and a danger to everyone. Once a German Shepherd was running thru my yard and ran into the garage. I hit the switch on the garage and shut the door and called the police. I told them a very menacing and frightful dog was locked in my garage and I feared for my life. The cops came and surrounded the garage, weapons ready and opened the door. Said dog looked their way with a Fritos bag over his head. He liked my garbage. And then the owner, not the evil drug dealer, ran up crying "Pookie, Pookie thank god we found you." He was so happy with the Frito Bandito (as the cops called him) and I was "Curses, foiled again."

Then the drug addict rented the property to what appeared to be people running a group home. This was actually not bad. No one ever outside and no noise, no parties, no dogs. Though the house was really going downhill at this point.

Then the cookie people bought it. It took them a year to renovate. Don't know why but it did appear they gutted the house. Maybe it was pay as you go. Now this is another corner lot with really no yard except for the front. When I say no yard on the back and one side I mean maybe 2 to 3 feet between the house and lot line. Enough to mow. And this is a two story so large house on really small lot. Well on the street side of the driveway and next to the drive way they put in a small patio with a privacy fence. Okay, ya wanna go sit outside sometimes. Then they put in flower beds along the front walkway, some plantings around the porch. A big bush and flowers in the middle of the front yard. Some more plantings around the front. Then they connected the bush in the middle to the foundation plantings. Next a vignette reminiscent of My Old Kentucky tucked in the corner. Then a wishing well vignette next to the sidewalk at the edge of the property. Now there are two huge mud holes on either side of the public sidewalk in the halfway point of the property obviously waiting for a vignette of their own. Oh, by the way their fucking Christmas wreath is still up on their chimney. It is May.

Now you may wonder how my neighbors get their names. Some are obvious, some are due to shocking behaviour. Right after the cookie people moved in they invited everyone to their house on Halloween eve for cider and donuts at 8 PM on a Sunday. They did this by tying a beribboned invitation to my door. Big Daddy asked if I was going. As I reminded him I get up between 3 and 4 AM to go to Plant Loco to get my ass ripped I thought I should stay home and concentrate on packing my bag with pins, foam, pen, pencils, coffee mugs and Tylenol. Shortly thereafter I returned home to another colorful note tied to my door inviting us to join a new neighborhood group by sending in my phone and email information. THE last straw was an invitation a few weeks later to come to the cookie party they were hosting as a get to know your neighbor party. There are 14 people on my street and the majority are whack jobs, what is there to get to know.

Next, me and grandma

No comments:

Post a Comment