Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Staring at the floor committee

As promised someone came to see the fucked up, broken, piece of shit floor.  She was very nice. She did not speak English. We came to a meeting of the minds when she started rubbing her hand on the floor. I showed her the problem. That is when we hit the fork in the road. She was going to call someone, I am thinking Shemp. I wanted a detailed plan prior to Shemp painting the floor again. So per my instructions she had someone who spoke English call me.

The English speaker (who uses my name as her nickname) offered to move us to a different apartment. No way Jose. Then she agreed to come up herself and look. Then she says she will help prove it is not my fault. Then I opened the wine. Then Shemp joins us, now we have the requisite 4 people for a meeting. It will be very hard to fix the floor. My solution, cut another piece of this phony shit to match the section and glue it down right this time, was met with resistance. It might not match. As nothing in this heathen country matches or is square I am not seeing the problem.  My second suggestion of telling the ayis to quit beating the shit out of everything with the cleaning tools was explained away by the statement "all the ayis went back to their home towns". Turnover, who knew. Maybe if you paid these people a decent wage you could keep help.

Solution was to redo the section, but only if Shemp could perform his miracle fix-it job and prove that this time it will be great. As we speak Shemp is gluing down the slivers and covering everything with what appears to some kind of plaster or wood filler. This will take 3 hours as Shemp and has to sit here and watch it dry. Being the bitch I informed them that Big Daddy, or Sir as he is known in China, was the arbitor of "fixed". So here I sit watching Shemp watch the floor waiting for the miracle of floor scuplture.

Okay, I gotta admit 3hours later and if you did not know it was fixed you could not find fault. He even put the faux grain in the faux wood.

Do I think it will hold up to normal wear and tear, No. Will I work around it for my short term sanity, yes.


  1. I think you in fucked up piece of piece of shit country like perhaps you should come home merica?

  2. Still no jobs in our industry in America that pays real money.