Sunday, May 26, 2013

Pipes Cleaning

Friday was the long awaited colonoscopy and the down the throat thing. Interesting things were noted.

There is no way Michael Jackson got up and danced after taking that stuff. The Propofol that is.  He had to take something to pump him up.

The doctor stretched my esophagus and I don't know why, but it hurts like hell.

The worst part was the making of the gunk to drink for the prep. There is jar of powder substance that is a laxative and 2 bottles of 32 ounce Gatorade required. You put half the powder into each bottle. I am a very literal person so I set a lab scenario to accomplish this task. I had my notepad to note how many measures I put into each container. Well I put one measure into each bottle and then I noticed that I could not get a second measure in as the level of the Gatorade had risen to the top of the bottle. I was flummoxed, how was I going to get this sizable jar of powder into these bottles when the first 1/8 C measure almost sent the liquid cascading over the rim. I had to sit down and breathe to keep from crying, this was not going according to plan.

Okay, I improvised and dumped the one bottle into a lidded pitcher (Punkin Head helped me figure this out) and then used the two bottles to mix the other portion. But why do they tell you to put the shit into the bottle when they know you can't fit that shit into the bottle? And I am normally a fairly bright person but on the brink of shitting my brains out with no food, well, that is not a good time for me to have to figure out on my own that the directions for the gunk sucks.

Anyway it all looks okay to the doc and I will get the 3  biopsy results soon and I have a hiatus hernia. They say no big deal, no cure, no harm, no foul, just avoid a few things and life is good. The usual suspects of course-nicotine, alcohol, caffeine- but some surprising additions, chocolate, peppermint and spearmint. So of course today when I could swallow I ate a chocolate croissant to make up for all the pain and guess what, I got the aggravating little pain. That one is gonna piss me off, tell a broad no chocolate? I don't think so.

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