Monday, January 30, 2012

I Procrastinate, always

Just in case anyone forgot, when shit hits the fan here the powers that be shut down, slow down and generally ignore any problems. I do not write about it as (stolen from Harry Potter) "he who must not be named" tracks certain words and phrases and there is nothing good going to come from me chatting about it. They can see what you do from a VPN, and if you are cool they pretty much ignore you. When shit hits the fan, there is a general response. I will talk more about this when I get home. The TV and Internet are taking frequent breaks right now.

I am supposed to be packing and purging. Instead I am fucking around on the computer. I am using my intestines and sleeping patterns as an excuse. I always get done on time, just not always in the manner I had hoped for. Not sleeping properly, the trip and the fireworks extravaganza and innards always react to change and stress.

Out of sheer boredom I was reading the Pioneer Woman blog this afternoon and I was aghast at the comments. Where the hell do these people come from? You know how you always kinda wonder if you are normal? Not always, but that once in a while when it goes through your mind? And you think, whoa-people don't need to know about this shit. These ass-hats write about it. Ree, that is the blogster posted a pantry must have list. How more than 10 people in the states would be stumped at setting up a pantry in this day and age is beyond my comprehension. There were pages of comments thanking her for this previously secret knowledge. Here are a few of my favorites:

*(You will need multiple freezers) Take a gallon of milk and pour half of it into an empty gallon of milk jug. Squish it down until all the air is gone and it is fairly flat. Freeze it. When you need it: partially, say 70%, thaw it out and add enough water back in to make a gallon. Now I am not stupid but a deformed plastic milk gallon jug is not going to conform to the squishing more than half the time. They are cheap plastic and crack, especially when frozen and stacked in a grotesque configurations. My question is where the fuck do you get all the extra plastic gallon jugs?

*If you are lacking space turn your powder room into a pantry. Your guests can review your supplies while they pee and poop. Who would put up shelves and keep their food in the same place where you get rid of the food? Isn't there a saying about not shitting where you eat? It is advised to cover and hide your toothbrush in there.

*When you make a dinner, make 2 and freeze one. There is one "Bless her heart" lady that has been doing that but her family will not eat the same meal twice in one month so every month she throws away all the extra dinners from the freezer. This is one of the only times I would actually recommend the use of illegal drugs, I am just not sure who in that family should be taking them.

By the way, I have been seeing something lately where people make the comment "But I slept at the Holiday Inn" or something close to that phrase. They use it after a statement almost as if you would  put the "just sayin" tack-on. What is that all about?

Okay gotta go stare at my luggage.


  1. There are these Holiday Inn Express commercials that have storylines that have absolutely nothing to do with staying at a hotel or motel. In them the actor is trying to save the day through some act of heroism, sometimes saying something a bit off the wall, and the victim might say something like, "are you a doctor?", and the person would reply, "No, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night" as that is s'pposed to imply, well, I was smart enough to stay there to save some money, so I can surely figured out how to do a compound fracture.

    Creative Procrastination, love it! I am s'pposed to be going to Amarillo soon, but I have yet to move much, semi-sleepless last night, head hurting but better. Read a bunch of fiction and a little physics history. I should get moving though so I get my special chicken fajitas, the noisy ones with cheese and bacon.

    1. Thanks for the explanation, although when I did budget travel for the company I preferred the Hampton Inn's, must mean I am not up for the compound fracture.

  2. You really do need a break form all that shit!

  3. Everytime I read the Pioneer Woman's blog, or blogs like it...I end up feeling like a criminal. When do you come back?

    1. February 4, God willing and the creek don't rise.